We have discussed on this blog before that the cheapest way of altering sound in an earphone is changing the stock tips [
our article on eartips]. Narrow-bore tips typically yield a deeper, tubier soundstage, whereas wide-bores attenuate bass and reveal treble. The second cheapest way of changing sound is (reversible) modding [
our reversible modding principles]. Micropore tape over nozzles can work wonders with that peaky upper end. If you are a lawyer or heart surgeon, or another rich twit, you may try your luck with pricey cables or calm the sound of your expensive however aggressive earphone with the distant memory of your pleasant unboxing experience.
But have you ever considered not altering the external hardware, i.e. earphones, but rather manipulating the internal hardware, i.e. your very own ear canals? Humans manipulate their hardware all the time for all sorts of purposes, from working out in the gym for fitness, through seeking healthy improvements by medications or supplements, even plastic surgery, to doping in professional sports.
THE SOLUTION
Researchers at the “Max Planck Institut für Strömungsforschung” in Germany have discovered an amazingly simple way of smoothing perceived sound by smoothing your ear canals to minimize internal distortion and resonance. To achieve this, the researchers first shaved the accessible frontal part of the ear canal and then lubricated the inner walls. In order to achieve maximum smoothness, the lubricant has to be of a favourable viscosity.
The smoothening effect of audiophile olive oil is reflected by the frequently response.
Viscosity is defined as a measure of the internal friction, that is the resistance of a liquid against being moved/deformed. According to the researchers, the viscosity of the fluid in the ear has to be just right so that the thin film covering the ear canal does not tear when the earpieces are inserted. Dr. Schnuckelbein, who was leading the team of the Max Plank Institute, told audioreviews.org that olive oil fulfills all these requirements. But hold it, not any cheap olive oil does the job. The one that works best comes from the Argana valley in Morocco and from various locations of Tunesia.
Order your audiophile olive oil from audioreviews.org NOW!
PROFESSIONAL TESTIMONIES
Other reviewers confirm my positive experience. The Crinch reports that the lubrication of the olive oil put his graph tool into an endless spin. The Audiotool found the oil useful for removing rust from himself, and the ant-eater uses it for frying up his dinner, too. Not sure how the Contraceptionst deployed it but primate audio failed to superimpose graphs of different earphones after too generous an application…they simply slipped off each other. Alaskan good girl bad girl (AGGBG) eventually even smoothened out her foul language with the oil so that Discord were forced to rename themselves to Concord. Co-blogger KopyOkaty, finally, was very successful in restoring his hearing and recover from his moderate deafness. Only Dead-Fi remained dead, even with the finest audiophile olive oil.
CONCLUDING REMARKS
In summary, audiophile olive oil is way more effective and versatile than snake oil for improving one’s listening pleasure. Applied together with hard liquor, it creates a sensation of optimistic listening, promotes expectation bias, and it has been proven as a good tool against buyer’s remorse. Last but not least it is is much cheaper than snake oil, too. You can order a 10 ml bottle of audiophile olive oil from us for only $49.99; worldwide shipping and a free pipette included. Hey, after all, we have to start making some money.
And since we can’t do this every day, our special offer will expire on 2nd April 2020.
![[IMG]](https://www.audioreviews.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/IMG_9064-800x445.jpg "[IMG]")
