Two cows leaning over a gate …
first cow… “Are you worried about Mad Cows Disease? “
Second cow … “No, not at all “
”why‘s that”
“ ‘cause I’m a Chicken “
A chimpanzee strolls into the hardware store and looks over the displays. A surprised-looking clerk comes over and says, "What a coincidence--we have a wrench named after you!"
The chimp replies, "You have a wrench named Allen?"
Old man fishing by the river … hears a faint cry of “help me” …. Getting slowly louder he sees a frog floating towards him on a lily pad, “help me” ..
pulls the lily pad to the bank and gently picks up the frog …” help me …. I’m a beautiful Princess and the wicked witch put a spell on me, kiss me to break the spell and I’ll marry you, be you’re soulmate, bear your children, and love you forever” … slowly the old man slips the frog into his pocket …. “What are you doing …. Kiss me !”
Old man replies “ at 82 years old darlin‘ i‘d rather have a talking frog “ .
A daughter takes her elderly father to a psychiatrist. She tells the shrink that he thinks he's a chicken. The shrink examines the man who's trying to peck at his leg and states that the condition is very serious. He then proceeds to ask how long her father has experienced the disorder. She replies "8 months". The shrink becomes visibly upset and asks why she waited so long to seek professional guidance. She thinks for a moment and replies "well, we needed the eggs".
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