[Pharmaboy]

A penguin is riding on his snowmobile when all of a sudden it craps out on him. He pushes it to the nearest garage and while the mechanic is working on his snowmobile, the penguin goes into the store next to the garage. He buys and ice cream cone and goes back to see the mechanic. The mechanic looks at the penguin and says : “I think you‘ve blown a seal”. The penguin says : “No, no, I’m having ice cream”.

a cold weather classic!

 

[The Jester]

How do you know when your wife has gone on a holiday ?

Sex is the same but the dishes in the sink back up …

 

[JazzVinyl]

Can an orphan eat, at a family restaurant?

 

[ranfan]

^ Yo that's.. I went to an orphanage website once, but couldn't find the homepage

 

[BobG55]

 

[BobG55]

Only in Canada

 

[BobG55]

Here’s a question for the mind readers out there.

 

[Ryokan]

 

[Joaquin Dinero]

There's only 10 types of people in the world. Those who can understand the binary number system and those who can't.

 

[BobG55]

 

[Ryokan]

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be eight again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Big Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, with popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!"
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

 

[BobG55]

 

[BobG55]

 

[BobG55]

 

[mammal]

Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.