[Pharmaboy]

Two cows leaning over a gate …
first cow… “Are you worried about Mad Cows Disease? “
Second cow … “No, not at all “
”why‘s that”
“ ‘cause I’m a Chicken “

(I don't even understand why I'm laughing)

 

[taffy2207]

For Sale - DeLorean

Low Mileage
Excellent Condition
Only used from time to time ​

 

[taffy2207]

Two sausages are cooking in a Frying Pan.

One Sausage says to the other "Jeez, it's hot in here!"

The other says "Bloody hell, A talking Sausage!"

 

[Pharmaboy]

A chimpanzee strolls into the hardware store and looks over the displays. A surprised-looking clerk comes over and says, "What a coincidence--we have a wrench named after you!"

The chimp replies, "You have a wrench named Allen?"

 

[taffy2207]

I've got a new GPS for my Car that was designed by Bonnie Tyler.

It's not great though, It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.

 

[The Jester]

Fleetwood Mac one keeps telling you to go you’re own way ?

 

[The Jester]

Even worse when approaching a red light is “Don’t Stop “ ….

 

[The Jester]

Old man fishing by the river … hears a faint cry of “help me” …. Getting slowly louder he sees a frog floating towards him on a lily pad, “help me” ..
pulls the lily pad to the bank and gently picks up the frog …” help me …. I’m a beautiful Princess and the wicked witch put a spell on me, kiss me to break the spell and I’ll marry you, be you’re soulmate, bear your children, and love you forever” … slowly the old man slips the frog into his pocket …. “What are you doing …. Kiss me !”
Old man replies “ at 82 years old darlin‘ i‘d rather have a talking frog “ .

 

[BobG55]

 

[Pharmaboy]

I actually LOVE the accordion, and all the other instruments in that family. But this is hysterical!

 

[The Jester]

Music lovers been around way longer than Audiophiles ?

 

[Bytor123]

Definition of a gentleman - someone who can play the banjo but doesn't

 

[slowpickr]

A daughter takes her elderly father to a psychiatrist. She tells the shrink that he thinks he's a chicken. The shrink examines the man who's trying to peck at his leg and states that the condition is very serious. He then proceeds to ask how long her father has experienced the disorder. She replies "8 months". The shrink becomes visibly upset and asks why she waited so long to seek professional guidance. She thinks for a moment and replies "well, we needed the eggs".

 

[slowpickr]

Definition of a gentleman - someone who can play the banjo but doesn't

Q: What should you do if you accidentally run over a banjo? A: back up.

 

[slowpickr]

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.