My friend's wife yelled at me.
Jul 31, 2014 at 1:29 PM Thread Starter Post #1 of 53
arnesto

arnesto

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I know there are bigger problems in this world, but I just thought I would tell this story to see if anyone else has the same problem.
 
So, my friend ask me if I want to go camping with him, his wife, and two kids.
 
First day we go camping and I went fishing and it was fun, I caught 2 trout by the lakeside and everything was good.
 
The next day in the morning, my friend's wife tells me she is having a terrible headache and if I can take over cooking the eggs for breakfast.
 
I quickly take over, but my friend's wife is sitting next to the stove and keeps telling me to flip the eggs.
 
I keep flipping the eggs, but the third time she tells me to flip the eggs, I tell her I know how to cook eggs and she is being too bossy.
 
That's when she flips out and tells me not to disrespect her and starts calling me the "f" word 3 times.
 
I don't know how this happened, I was just trying to help out.
 
On the way home, she won't say a word to me.
 
 
Anyhow, now I'm thinking she must of hated me from the beginning and she must have shown me her true feelings.
 
I feel burdened by this because my friend is one of my best friends, but now I cannot and do not want to go back to his house.
 
Do you other fellas have trouble getting along with your friend's wife?
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 3:24 PM Post #2 of 53
Sounds like your friend's wife has "issues" (maybe with your friend?) and was taking it out on you.
Staying away from your friend's house sounds like a good idea.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 5:17 PM Post #3 of 53
I think because she told me she had a headache, I should have been more careful what I say to her.
 
But even if I had a headache, it's really overboard to call someone the "f" word.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 5:35 PM Post #5 of 53
I had a similar issue some years ago.

My friend's wife was (in a subtle way) insulting my long term girlfriend, I tried to ignore her as much as I could but she insisted on talking about her. Needless to say I replied in a not-so-subtle way and the whole thing exploded.
Because he was one of my closest friend, I apologized some days later but the damage was done: I couldn't visit them anymore after the incident.

They got divorced a few years later for other reasons but I still feel a bit guilty.

Conclusion:
1. It sucks to get involved in any sort of conflicts between your friends' wives.
2. Don't say a word, probably you friend already talked to his wife.
3. Not because it's your friend you have to like her or viceversa. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 8:19 PM Post #6 of 53
Your friend asked you but was it ok with her? If she had a headache what was she doing sitting close to the stove and watching you cook? Shouldn't she be resting somewhere else?
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 8:48 PM Post #8 of 53
I'd say you should ask your friend about how his wife truly feels about you. If he's a true friend he should be honest (and you have to be open minded to accept whatever the response will be). For all you know it may well be PMS, or maybe they had a tiff before the start of the camping trip and may have already be on edge - or maybe she really has a problem with you but held it back in for so long. I'd think it's more important to find that out first.
 
If it turns out that it was only temporary "bad week" moment, then ideally she should apologise but I wouldn't hold her to it. It's really more for your friend to manage 'cos he's married to her, not you. OTOH if it's a more permanent animosity she has towards you (again up to your friend to tell), that you could :-
 
1) [ideally] get some time to talk to her personally one-on-one what the deal is
2) [practically] don't mix. Just hang around with your friend
 
I don't have a situation where my friend's wife doesn't like me (AFAIK), but I do have a situation of where my wife's friend doesn't care much for me. In my case I fall into #2 above. I've got enough on my plate than to find resolution in making friends with someone who doesn't want to. My wife knows and leaves it at that. If she truly seeks a harmonious relationship between me and her friend, then she'll do something about it but it's easier not mixing water with oil in the first place especially when the cost is greater whilst the gain is little in my case.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 9:15 PM Post #9 of 53
arnesto said:
  I know there are bigger problems in this world, but I just thought I would tell this story to see if anyone else has the same problem.
 
So, my friend ask me if I want to go camping with him, his wife, and two kids.
 
First day we go camping and I went fishing and it was fun, I caught 2 trout by the lakeside and everything was good.
 
The next day in the morning, my friend's wife tells me she is having a terrible headache and if I can take over cooking the eggs for breakfast.
 
I quickly take over, but my friend's wife is sitting next to the stove and keeps telling me to flip the eggs.
 
I keep flipping the eggs, but the third time she tells me to flip the eggs, I tell her I know how to cook eggs and she is being too bossy.
 
That's when she flips out and tells me not to disrespect her and starts calling me the "f" word 3 times.
 
I don't know how this happened, I was just trying to help out.
 
On the way home, she won't say a word to me.
 
 
Anyhow, now I'm thinking she must of hated me from the beginning and she must have shown me her true feelings.
 
I feel burdened by this because my friend is one of my best friends, but now I cannot and do not want to go back to his house.
 
Do you other fellas have trouble getting along with your friend's wife?
Click to expand...

Wait, you let her in the car on the way home? I'd have left her in the bush. 
very_evil_smiley.gif

 
You did nothing wrong...she has "issues". Time for a new friend IMO.
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 9:46 PM Post #11 of 53
a woman's kitchen IS a woman's kitchen....
she is THE boss, come headache or earthquake :p
 
obey...or buzz off  :)
 
Jul 31, 2014 at 10:04 PM Post #13 of 53
Here's my two cents:
 
Women, especially wives are inherently protective with family.  So called "family outings" whether it's camping or whatever, there's a sad and strong truth of the "third wheel" and invasion of family time.  That and a lot of wives that I know don't like the camping scene but goes along for the ride.  
 
I'm curious though, where was your friend in all this?  Was he around to hear the dialogue?  If he was absent, you need to have a beer time with him and explain to him the situation for him to neutralize any bad or hard feelings his wife may still have. I wouldn't avoid your friend as **** happens to all of us to some degree. Good luck.
 
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