[vixro]

Man no matter what, unless it's two men, then the female of the relationship should pay because they probably have more money.

 

[AC1]

Well since this question is really about the social context of men, women relationship, rather than what etiquette is involved, I think there really is no strict answer.

The approach should be that between all the choices none of them should be done consistently since as people have discovered that being strictly one type of guy or another leads to difficulty with relationships.

Whoever pays, it is in the context of the relationship and screening for what type of person they are that matters. If you are buying her dinner to bribe her for her company, well then she will expect you to become more of a doormat. That is the "problem" with the idea that you will pay because she is hot. She will be able to see right through it, and at that point your relationship is already defined. Whatever the scenario is, all of it can be done without giving the "control" to the other person.

 

[MASantos]

The person who invited the other out should pay for the date. If it gets more serious, then either start splitting the bills or each one at a turn.

That's my experience so far and I never had any problem with it.

 

[plainsong]

It's whoever did the asking of course. I mean it's a jerk who suggests and takes you to a nice place and then gives you the bill. Come on!

Those are the people who never reach the 3rd date dilemma.

I'd extend that rule (not the 3rd date one, I mean, unless that's how you roll) to friendships as well. You don't make a big to-do about taking a friend somewhere and give them the bill either. If something is your treat, then it's your treat.

 

[Socrates3000]

I would like to offer the suggestion that the one who does the asking should not pay for the first date. That person is probably already jittery and needs some positive affirmation from the person who accepted. We've all been there in that limbo state where the other party won't say no to anything yet doesn't show the slightest sign of interest and is willing to accept anything material we give to him/her. Be human. Let the person know that you are on an important event and that it means somethig to you.

 

[mr. nice]

lots of charmers around here. if you can afford a computer and headphones then pick up the tab or at least offer to....it goes a long way.

 

[boomana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr. nice /img/forum/go_quote.gif lots of charmers around here. if you can afford a computer and headphones then pick up the tab or at least offer to....it goes a long way.

and that's why you are mr. nice

 

[raymondlin]

The man should offer first, if the woman refuse then offer to split it.

 

[grawk]

boomana should

 

[plainsong]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Socrates3000 /img/forum/go_quote.gif I would like to offer the suggestion that the one who does the asking should not pay for the first date. That person is probably already jittery and needs some positive affirmation from the person who accepted. We've all been there in that limbo state where the other party won't say no to anything yet doesn't show the slightest sign of interest and is willing to accept anything material we give to him/her. Be human. Let the person know that you are on an important event and that it means somethig to you.

Imagine either in a friendship or date:

Asker - Hey, do you want to go out sometime? I know of a great place that serves _____ and I want to check it out.

(Above amend depending on if it's a friend or a date)

Askee - Sure I'd love to go! How about Friday? I get off work at 5, so how about 7 or 8ish?

Asker - Ok, I'll be there!

(again, amend depending on if it's a friend or a date)

Fast forward to going to dinner, you showed up on time, made reservations, showered, remembered to use deo, brushed your teeth, used mouthwash, and the food was great but the company was better. And now the check comes.

Asker - well, I asked you out, but would you make me feel more secure by paying?

Askee - ....................... (thinking - "you cheap @sshole!")

If it's a friend, you're never going out again, and your calls will go unanswered. If it's a date, you MIGHT get someone desperate enough to fall for it, but you will not get to the 3rd date dilemma once the askee's friends start poing out what a jerk thing to do that was.

It's a plot that will only work on the lonely and those with poor social skills. Otherwise, you ain't gettin' nowhere.

I also don't believe it HAS to be that the guy always pays. What if the girl was the one to ask him out? He didn't plan it, it wasn't his idea. If he wants to pay for other dates, then let him ask for them.

 

[caramelsoul]

I said man, but my girl doesnt mind paying if im skint.

 

[HiWire]

Man, I think. It's all part of the game.

 

[Sovkiller]

Don't be ridiculous, I always pay for my dates, even a business dinners, lunches, etc...Sorry but if you can't afford that, simply avoid them...simply as that...You cna choose less expensive places of course, even cheap places serve very good food here, you just have to choose wisely...

 

[viggen]

If my date is hot, I'd let her pay then I pay her back with massages.

 

[Sovkiller]

Quote:

Originally Posted by viggen /img/forum/go_quote.gif If my date is hot, I'd let her pay then I pay her back with massages.

If the date is hot, and you let her pay, you most probably will end alone home watching PlayBoy channel and giving massages to yourself in some delicate parts, after the dinner.....