It was always easy to spot Dolly Parton’s kids in a crowd!! They were the ones with stretch marks around their mouths!!!
Corny Jokes - the more the merrier
- Thread starter BobG55
- Start date
Ryokan
Headphoneus Supremus
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million, but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
Two old women are smoking outdoors in front of their retirement residence. It’s raining and the shorter one holding an umbrella looks up at her taller friend and notices she has some kind of sleeve on her cigarette. “What’s that on your cigarette ?” she asks. Her friend replies “it’s a condom, I cut the end and slip it on my cigarette when it’s raining”. “That’s a great idea, where can I get one of those” her friend asks. “I get them at the pharmacy at the corner, just ask the pharmacist for some condoms”. So the next day, the little old lady goes to the drug store, walks up to the pharmacist and says “I’d like to buy some condoms”. The pharmacist asks the woman “what size do you need”. The little old lady thinks for a moment and then says : “I want one long enough for a Camel.”.
MeiLing
100+ Head-Fier
The last thing you should do when in Hluhluwe Game Reserve.
The video.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1589545848203251712
The video.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1589545848203251712
Last edited:
Pharmaboy
Headphoneus Supremus
I can't even read that, much less say it out loud.
Get the feeling the elephant is the smartest one in that scene?
gimmeheadroom
Headphoneus Supremus
Sign over a stable:
For gentle people, we have gentle horses
For spirited people, we have spirited horses
And for those who don't like to ride, we have horses which don't like to be ridden
For gentle people, we have gentle horses
For spirited people, we have spirited horses
And for those who don't like to ride, we have horses which don't like to be ridden
gimmeheadroom
Headphoneus Supremus
Doctor! I've a terrible stabbing pain in my eye every time I drink tea! Do you think it could be some sort of allergy?
I dunno, is it both eyes or just one?
Oh, it's only the right eye.
Right then, take out the spoon and give us call in a fortnight to let us know how you're doing.
I dunno, is it both eyes or just one?
Oh, it's only the right eye.
Right then, take out the spoon and give us call in a fortnight to let us know how you're doing.
Ryokan
Headphoneus Supremus
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all girl biker bar by mistake..
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things’:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl who's an ex army fitness instructor'.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 180 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'no,
not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times’.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things’:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl who's an ex army fitness instructor'.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 180 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'no,
not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times’.
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