[PSmith08]

For various reasons, I am single and will probably stay that way for the foreseeable future. However, I have dealt with relationships of several stripes.

However, I will say this: be happy. If that means you have high standards, so be it. Ignore the signals, and live on your own terms. If they love you, then they'll take you on your own terms. Settling for less only guarantees disappointment.

 

[jpelg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuberoller Anybody else going through something similar? It seems that all the "available" women are screwed in some way.

Hell yeah! Welcome to the club. Lot's of messed-up women out there. I never knew how prevalent the use of serious prescription anti-depressants were until I started dating again about two years ago (after ending an LTR). I wonder how these women hold down jobs (some very high-powered ones too!), or just generally deal with life *shrug*. Quote:

You know,you just seem to get so many conflicting signals from women. I mean do they just want sex or do they wanna a real realtionship,What?

Most women are fairly progressive with regard to sex, but they don't want to actually voice it outright. It's more rare (but not impossible) to find one that is as forward as you describe. They seem to prefer acting the "lady" to most of the world, but will drop down & do the "nasty" with a man who they deem sponge-worthy. It's a game, with a bit of a dance thrown in. If you want "play", you've got to play. But that way, they don't have to honestly face (or voice) the sexual animals they really are underneath. Seems a bit silly at the outset, but eventually you just learn to accept it as part of the ritual.

Dating-sex is based on only 50% honesty, and the other half lies (either outright, thru ommission, or even to ourselves). It's when the lying part comes to light (and it eventually does), that the relationship goes into the gutter and you are back on the market again. Quote:

Then there's the woman at the Cingular phone store...that looks like Rosario Dawson and has a "phone sex" voice.

In that case, all is forgiven. Love, love, LOVE her:

 

[RedLeader]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpelg with a man who they deem sponge-worthy

First seinfeld quote I've seen on here, anyone else love that show? (Don't mean to thread crap, lets start another one!)

 

[Tuberoller]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpelg Hell yeah! Welcome to the club. Lot's of messed-up women out there. I never knew how prevalent the use of serious prescription anti-depressants were until I started dating again about two years ago (after ending an LTR). I wonder how these women hold down jobs (some very high-powered ones too!), or just generally deal with life *shrug*.Most women are fairly progressive with regard to sex, but they don't want to actually voice it outright. It's more rare (but not impossible) to find one that is as forward as you describe. They seem to prefer acting the "lady" to most of the world, but will drop down & do the "nasty" with a man who they deem sponge-worthy. It's a game, with a bit of a dance thrown in. If you want "play", you've got to play. But that way, they don't have to honestly face (or voice) the sexual animals they really are underneath. Seems a bit silly at the outset, but eventually you just learn to accept it as part of the ritual. Dating-sex is based on only 50% honesty, and the other half lies (either outright, thru ommission, or even to ourselves). It's when the lying part comes to light (and it eventually does), that the relationship goes into the gutter and you are back on the market again.In that case, all is forgiven. Love, love, LOVE her:

Add a really lumpy bra and that's pretty much how the "Cingular girl" (Melinda) looks. She's pretty hot but she's crude and kinda mean.

 

[braillediver]

Since the wife is gone did you get the Orpheus back? Sorry I had to.


Mitch

 

[oneeyedhobbit]

Hey Fred,

I don't want to thread jack but I had somethings I wanted to ask you and some music to talk--you have an e-mail address or something I can use? I might be back in Hyde Park soon, we should hit up some good music places. Take care.

 

[eric343]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuberoller The Streisand look-alike offered to help set-up my computer network when I get everything but I get the feeling she has a different objective. Why can't a woman just come out and clearly state her intentions? Why? Would it be too much trouble to say,"Hey,I want to come by and watch the game and knock off a piece afterwards",would it? Or how about "I'm really looking for a husband and I know you ain't the one so anything that happens between us is just casual". Or bettter yet, "I'm looking for a husband and if you and I go any further then I assume you're on board". But no,I get these mixed signals and completly confusing exchanges along with outright lies about what they want and expect. If I met a nice woman and she was 100% clear and truthful about what she wanted,I would just dance a jig. I made it absolutely clear to the nurse that I was not ready for any serious relationships (at least not with her) but she dumped on me for being "distracted and distant". I have so much stuff going on right now,I swear I could use a clone and this woman wants to come in and dominate what precious little time I have for leisure. When I'm done watching this game I (and making this post),I'm going to pick my son up and go to the batting cages to hit some balls. I told that to the nurse last week and she immediately asked me "how long is that going to take?". Not "have fun and I'll talk to you later". Do you guys see where I'm going with this? If everybody was honest I think this whole scene would be much easier,on us all.

Fred,
An awful lot women have a mortal fear of being considered sluts. It's getting better, but it's still there.

It's this fear which impedes open verbal communication. But it doesn't impede non-verbal communication; you just gotta learn to pick up on it.

 

[jpr703]

Tuberoller, I feel your pain. I'm in my early 30's and it getting real darn hard to find any women out there that don't have some serious issues. I'm sure that like you I probably have pretty high standards, but the pool of good women definitely seems to thin considerably as you get older.

The only thing I can tell you is the same thing I tell myself--just hang in there and keep trying. Yeah, I've been tempted to lower my standards but the fact is that the last thing I want in my life is another complicated break-up or divorce. Better to deal with a little loneliness until you meet the right one.

Until then, fire up a nice big Class A amp to keep you warm at night!

 

[redshifter]

man i wish you posted more, tuberoller. you got the best rants.

 

[azncookiecutter]

Hmmmm...me being still 15 (turning 16 in two weeks), and having no Girlfriend as of yet, I think I'll hold off in this love game till I'm in university. I know a lot of girls, and unfortunately, a lot of them are just annoying. Some of them I have great friendships with, but I rather have a great friendship than a serious relationship. And as Kanye West said (or rapped) in All Falls Down, "The prettiest people do the ugliest things."

 

[jpr703]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpelg Hell yeah! Welcome to the club. Lot's of messed-up women out there. I never knew how prevalent the use of serious prescription anti-depressants were until I started dating again about two years ago (after ending an LTR). I wonder how these women hold down jobs (some very high-powered ones too!), or just generally deal with life *shrug*.

I was shocked by the antidepressant thing too. I've learned to spot that one pretty fast and it always sends me running the other way. Once you eliminate those and the throng of not-so-subtle gold-diggers, it doesn't seem to leave much left.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpelg Dating-sex is based on only 50% honesty, and the other half lies (either outright, thru ommission, or even to ourselves).

This one is tough for me. I'm a terrible liar. Maybe it's because I seem to have this fixed idea that I shouldn't have to but that does seem to go against the norm nowadays. Despite the fact that everyone seems to do it, it still rubs me the wrong way. Once I catch someone lying to me, that pretty much eliminates them.

It's a sad commentary on the state of society but, but once you've tossed aside the pill poppers, gold diggers, and the liars, there just aren't that many single women left in my age range.

 

[cpw]

Hey Fred,
glad to hear you're "feeling better."
Here's the secret:
get married again and when all these women become "short-term propositions" they'll become much more attrractive!

It's gonna be hard for you to respect a women who just doesn't "get" the car/music thing at all. Use the hobbies as a filter and go from there. They don't have to be drag racers or audiophiles but if they just don't get it at all, things won't go well for you (for more than a few hrs.).

Good to see some posts from you.
CPW
edit: the alternative is to just let Ray pick a woman for you. that's a guy who knows something about quality women!

 

[Jasper994]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hey_Its_Cole I just got out of a serious relationship (well serious to her LOL) because I found her to be one of those girls that completely changes things about herself because I like them. For instance, she began listening to country because I like country, she moved out of her place because I did not like her roomates, she backed off on drinking because I was tired of drinking, she allways went a long with what I wanted to do and never made decisions, and this is only getting started. I went into it wanting something serious but found myself almost playing a parenting roll. I am in college dating is suposed to be fun. She had no ambitions and worked as a dance instructor and a waitress and never had any money. She got mad when I went to pick up some homework from my friend Heathers apartment LOL. I finally had enough and when I broke things off she tried to hang out with my friends (not mutual friends) to get at me. I am so fed up with women as the past few I have dated have all acted like this. I envy my parents as the way they described dating at my age was not like this at all. I just want a girl who is pretty (not a problem to find), smart (hard to find), ambitous (hard to find), not afraid to be themselves (hard to find), and one who is fine if I want to go do my own thing (impossible to find). My mom says most women are so screwed up today that she feels sorry for us LMAO. I just can not seem to find anyone my age with a maturity level remotely close mine. So I am done with my rant. Time to hear some others.

I'm right there with ya man... I'm not sure which I hate worse, plastic parts or plastic personality... Oh wait, they boil down to the same thing! What is wrong with people these days!?!

 

[adhoc]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuberoller It seems that all the "available" women are screwed in some way.

sorry man. my bad.

 

[Old Pa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuberoller If I met a nice woman and she was 100% clear and truthful about what she wanted,I would just dance a jig.

www.eharmony.com But you gotta post the results of your free personality profile.