Monty Burn's Custom Sleeve Adventure:
Chapter 3 - "Brain Damage"
Welcome back . Time for my (Sur)real World impression of the 8s outfitted with Sensaphonics Custom Silicone Sleeves, as promised.
Nothing less than a true field test was going to suffice. I believe I have delivered. But then that is for you to judge
Upon my safe return to Burns Manor I changed into something more comfortable and prepared to settle in for a real test of the upgrade...
I took out my digital Dictaphone to record my thoughts and experiences in real time.
My ever faithful, fawning sycophantic assistant, Wayland Smithers was again on hand to take pictures, lend assistance and tend to my every whim. (He is after all a fawning sycophant - Which reminds me SMITHERS!!! Get me a drink)
What follows below are written transcripts (cobbled together as they were from my real time " recorded notes") along with of my early post session initial impressions, (though they are as of yet not fully distilled.).
Remember what the dormouse said. And don't dawdle you don't want to keep the Caterpillar waiting.
Exceeellent! Let us begin...
.....
First Impressions:
It had been a wonderful day and what I needed now to give it the perfect ending was a bit of the old Glorious Ninth by Ludwig Van
Upon returning home and I popped in the 8s.
The tiny tendril's/tubules again extended from the sleeves aperture spreading deeper, deeper into my brain - (btw - Sweet fit),
Cued up, jacked in and then...
Then, brothers, it came. O bliss, bliss and heaven, oh it was gorgeousness and georgeosity made flesh. The trombones crunched redgold under my bed, and behind my gulliver the trumpets three-wise, silver-flamed and there by the door the timps rolling through my guts and out again, crunched like candy thunder. It was like a bird of rarest spun heaven metal or like silvery wine flowing in a space ship, gravity all nonsense now. As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures. ...
....with a burst of singing, and it was like for a moment, O my brothers, some great bird had flown in and I felt all the malenky little hairs on my plott standing endwise, and the shivers crawling up like slow malenky lizards and then down again.
As the music came to its climax, I could viddy myself very clear, running and running on like very light and mysterious feet, ...
...I was fitted all right O my brothers and sisters. I was fitted indeed
My initial impression is, quite obviously, positive. I would say that there is a definite improvement in sound further accentuated by the fact that with the Sleeves on the 846 and the user become one in a seamless interface. The sheer lack of discomfort and
almost a non awareness of having something jammed in your ear allows one to transcend in a state of total immersion.
I say almost as you are aware of a "fullness" physically as you wear them. Mostly I notice this as before on the outside. So far no Scratchy feeling. So far.
If I remain aware on the outside of my outer ear right at the ear lobe I will enquire if the sleeve part that goes around the outside of the 8s can be shaved/skimmed a bit.
How does one encapsulate what the Custom Sleeves do for the 846.
Its like...like what does the "Suit" and the Arc Reactor do for already over the top billionaire and genius Tony Stark - They make him - Iron Man!
I will post more detailed thoughts later after I have had a good
Lo n g run of listening. It was ear strain from extended wear that drove to the Customs. Now it is time to REALLY test the promise and push it to the limits...
The 8s and
Bells are tolling (literally) "
Introducing Tubular Bells" -( ...Resistance is futile)
Time to Strap in and Crank it up to ..... 11?....
Not! - 11 feh,
11 That's for the Nigel Tuffnel's of the world. ... who fear the Answer (and have no clue of the question) to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything!! ....
"846 Light the Afterburners don't stop till you hit... 42!!!". That's right "These go to 42" (Screw you Nigel.- 11 that all? what a *****)
Ground Control to Major Burns
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition and may God's love be with you
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One,
Liftoff!! ...
With that it began. The last thing I heard from the outside world was a worried looking Smithers sobbing and blubbering ...
"Godspeed Mr. Burns, ....
Can you see the real me? Can ya?...Can ya?...
42 Minutes/Hours/Days? Weeks? later -- time - meaningless now - Transcendence achieved!!
This is ridiculous. The sun is (
the same in a relative way but I'm older), coming up and I just can't take the 8s out --
I'll sleep when I'm dead indeed
-- (Literally they will not disengage).
Its been just a party of Steely Dan, YES, Rush (2112), Steve Millar Band ,The Who, Led Zeppelin (Oh ya Misty Mountain Top indeed) and of course my Pink Floyd containing the best of The Master DAVID GILMOUR.
The "fit" is insane. Fatigue form extended use is not an issue but I have not worn them yet for days or weeks I still worry about the carpet wear effect,. For now I am barely aware they are in its just as though the music is there somehow - everywhere
My brain is awash in an endless cascade of endorphins. (Mmm endorphins)
I got a fever, ...and the only prescription is...... MORE COWBELL!! ...
Eureka! "Pigs",
Mmm "Pigs" ...Sooo much Cowbell ...
I was born on this rock
And I've been travelin' through space....
I'm a space Monty
I'm sure you know where it's at Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
O my Brothers and Sisters You haven't lived sonically until you have flown the 8s with Custom Sleeves!!!
WOO-HOO!! "
(above) I had been looping David Gilmour's Masterwork "Dogs" from Animals for 42 mins. at the time
Smithers snapped this one (with a little Pigs and Sheep mixed in).... (White Filters)
But wait, the 8s ain't done with me yet!
"You know, I'm ready for the final surprise...",
-
I can Taste the Detail and....and.... BOOM! ..Occipital Lobe, Temporal Lobe and Midbrain operating in perfect unison... visual/aural filters gone! -
.."
And when you lose control you'll reap the harvest you have sown..."
- - - Hyperbrain Activated!! I, ... I, ...
I CAN SEE THE MUSIC!!! ....
..."My God, it's full of stars!"
"Great Gig in the Sky"
... no words... Blood tears are streaming down my cheeks -
Worth it!
"I can't think of anything to say except...I think it's marvellous! HaHaHa!"...
That's odd - I smell burning toast.... Oh my ...
...Crap! There goes my Occipital Lobe - that's going to leave a mark... (Still)
Worth it!!
The 8s suddenly broke in
"WARNING! At 200% of maximum recommended tolerances...Safety Protocols activated. Shutdown in10, 9"
No! Not yet! I thought..
"846 Cancel Shutdown. Disengage safety protocols. Command override authorization BURNS-ONE-ALPHA-42-STRANGELOVE"
"By your command" The 8s reluctantly complied
Then suddenly but not surprisingly (in retrospect) the 8s BOOMED
("What do you get for pretending the danger's not real..." )
"WARNING!....Structural integrity failure imminent"....
"WARNING! Cortex meltdown in Progress!!"....
"WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!!!"
("What a surprise!....Now things are really what they seem No, this is no bad dream")
..I'm not going to make it! (still somehow -
TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!)
... ("It's getting dark, too dark to see")
SMITHERS!! Get in here! I want to dictate my epitaph. .
Charles Montgomery Burns. ... American... Patriot... American... Patriot... Master of the atom. ... Scourge of the despot! Oh, tyrant! Hear his mighty name, and quake!...
Bo - bo.....(gasp)
42 seconds later
"I'm back in the pink! Full of pith and vinegar!"...
" O my brothers, I fell hard but I did not snuff it, oh no. If I had snuffed it, I would not be here to tell what I have told. I came back to life, after a long, black, black gap of what might have been a million years". (but was in fact 42 seconds)
What a
L o n g strange trip it's been!
You know, it's funny, I tried every tincture and poultice and tonic and patent medicine there is, and all I really needed was the blood of a young boy. " - And perhaps just a glass or two of the old MolokoPlus
.. Doobiedoob, a bit tired maybe, best not to say more. Bedways is rightways now, so best go homeways and get a bit of spatchka. Right-right? ...
First I am going to finish Grateful Dead's "American Beauty" and decompress ...
Right.
42 Minutes Later
I will post succinct specific observations on the sound after some more time to distill my thoughts on the myriad of sonic and physical benefits of the Sensaphonics custom silicone sleeves vest Universal Fit nozzle condoms.
My impression is an overwhelmingly positive one. The custom sleeves definitely kick things up a level sonically and are unquestionably the pinnacle of comfort where longer term wear is concerned.
I don't want to take them out. If one was using the 846 infrequently I do not believe the custom sleeve is necessary. From a sound standpoint. words like better fuller deeper come to mind. I feel truly jacked into the music in way I never did with UF nozzle condoms. .
This
"über comfort turns out to be a good thing. It appears those tendrils and mircro-tubules are pretty well fused to my brain and CNS. The size of the sleeve and outer fit will take some getting used to (as they are fused to my head I guess I will ) but it is certainly not a deal breaker
"42" may have been pushing the envelope a bit. Or it could just be "Burn In" that I read so much about
Well as late Dr.Thompson said: "
THE EDGE, there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." (Note to self 41.9 is THE EDGE)
Interesting observation to report the cords to the 8s have fallen away leaving only as vestigial indent where the MXCX connectors were.... A luminescent red glow emanates from the 8s. In harmony as it were, with the soft whirring and low electrical hum now emanating from within.
Doc Brodsky was right this truly is the"
perfect and seamless union between man and machine". - -
State of the Art for State of the Art.
I will be back to my old self in no time. Feeling
almost 100% already.
I am after all...
"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
"
Now it's time to say goodbye.
I suggest you don't dawdle, the hounds will be released in ten minutes."
"SMITHERS!! Carry me upstairs