[Kirosia]

Caffeine pills, exercise, outside in nature if possible

 

[Alghazanth]

I've never had this problem, but one of my best friends had his life pretty much destroyed by a series of chicks, and he realized not long ago that it was all because of him being a nice guy. If you're going to be a nice guy, things probably won't pan out well for you. At the same time, if you want to be a douchebag, you'll bring in the trash relatively easily, but if you want a keeper it won't happen. Have to know the right way to approach and treat them. I've had great luck with this, but it's not really easy to explain. Best way I can think to put it right now is become a badass but never lose sight of yourself.

 

[JamesMcProgger]

a douchbag become one. and be one untull you fallin love, then be a nice one, to her a still a douchbag to others.
 
 
should've put a poll in the OP.

 

[Spareribs]

Quote:

I've never had this problem, but one of my best friends had his life pretty much destroyed by a series of chicks, and he realized not long ago that it was all because of him being a nice guy.

Wow, I'm amazed how some people take life all too seriously. If a girl did not like me because I was nice, whatever. I keep myself happy with my hobbies and interests and have lots of fun like a child. Ultimately, the goal to happiness and freedom is to be like a child and not too adult. That was Picasso's way of thinking with his art in his later years.

 

[Hennyo]

Poor guy, I feel for you. Get out there and be F-U-N! Most importantly, "B-b-be" yourself. Chicks don't like to admit it, but I'm willing to bet 20% of it is bulking up, being clean cut, smiling a lot, and going to the gym. Those things seem to be universal. Lightheartedness also helps, sometimes even being delusional/silly.
 
You're 25, ready to explode, and at this point are trying to rush things. I don't like to say it man, but don't even worry about it. Obviously do keep a keen playful/energetic lookout, but to go everywhere looking for a squeeze isn't how I'd want to live my life. That's how you alienate yourself from women. Opportunity does come knocking if you let it. For me, the failsafe key is to just keep myself busy (anti-depressant) and do my thing. Surround yourself with high energy people. They may seem naiive, but they have the most fun. : D
 
Do not become a douche. You're fooling yourself if you think anybody deeply likes a doucher. Ewwww, just thinking about it.
 
I could share my successful "doucher" story with you, but if you're being a nice guy, and nothing''s happening to you, you're not doing enough outgoing activities in your life, or you're looking in the wrong places. Sure it can be hard to do with work, but it's much, much easier to get out in a go-lucky way than try changing the core of who you are and what you believe. Don't do it. You'll just tamper with 'yourself' to paradox creating levels. And that's when your life becomes a living hell. Damn this is depressing.. GET OUT THERE AND GO WORKOUT! PUMP YO-saeelf ahp!! Don't expect anything. Do things because you want to. Not because :*( 'I won't get a woman if I don't do this.
 
Attitude = lifechanging happiness. It is the small things that make our lives what they are. Analyze your life and whatever you feel you're not doing enough of in your life, go do it! This is where your girl comes in! She'll enjoy doing those same things with you!!!! Oh, and more, hehe.
 
p.s. Uncle Erick Rocks in this thread.
 
 
 

 

[Hennyo]

Quote:

Best way I can think to put it right now is become a badass but never lose sight of yourself.

Short and ez. I like it.

 

[Uncle Erik]

She twirled your hair and you didn't do anything? Oh well, chalk it up to experience. If someone gets touchy-feely, at least reach for her hand. Actually, that's a great first move. It's easy for her to pull away and you can always smile and be awkward. Even if she doesn't like you, she won't be upset. Insert standard speech on "no means no" here. Take rejection well, someone else will be into you.

For those who haven't been in a full relationship yet, keep in mind that a girlfriend is not the solution to life. The heavens won't open up with singing cherubs. The first three months or so are exciting, then it starts to get routine. Not necessarily a bad thing, but your life will be about the same and there will be complications.

Like your girlfriend's cousin's baby is having a birthday. You have to go. Then you drive an hour or two and make small talk with relatives you don't know for a few hours. The relatives are usually nice, but that'll consume an entire Saturday. If her car breaks down on the way to work, you'll probably have to go pick her up, make arrangements with a garage, etc. When she gets the flu, you'll have to cancel plans and stick around the house. Lots of this kind of thing. Then you'll have to negotiate cleaning, cooking, laundry, shower times, possibly bedtime if there's an early riser/late sleeper conflict, the house thermostat, and all the other mundane stuff. You better believe there will be a negotiation of the quantity, size, and placement of audio gear. It can all be worked out, but discussing where the speakers can go isn't all champagne and romance.

As for making an intro at a bar, here's a good trick I learned from my friend K some years back. We'd be hanging out with the guys at a bar. If there was a group of women we wanted to talk to, we'd send them a round of glasses of water (with a $1 tip for each glass to the bartender). Some women acted insulted. Alright, no harm done. Others would find it completely hysterical. When that happened, lots of fun was had.

Speaking of bars, spend some time getting to know all the bartenders, staff and owner if the owner hangs around. Tip well, make small talk and get to know them. They will totally take care of you, make introductions and set you up. It also makes you look good. At my favorite place, I'll go in with hugs and handshakes for all the regulars, hug the owner if she's there and the bartender gets my drink without being asked, then I'll chat with the bartender for a bit. Women in there may or may not like me, but they never think I'm a bad guy. Also, the regulars and staff will introduce me to anyone new in there. Not to brag, but it really works well. I do wingman work for the regulars, too. Bars get a bad rep, but good ones are wonderful.

 

[appophylite]

Quote:

Wow, I'm amazed how some people take life all too seriously. If a girl did not like me because I was nice, whatever. I keep myself happy with my hobbies and interests and have lots of fun like a child. Ultimately, the goal to happiness and freedom is to be like a child and not too adult. That was Picasso's way of thinking with his art in his later years.

 
You said it. The drama in this thread is dripping heavily....
 
 

 

[BattleBrat]

Quote:

She twirled your hair and you didn't do anything? Oh well, chalk it up to experience. If someone gets touchy-feely, at least reach for her hand. Actually, that's a great first move. It's easy for her to pull away and you can always smile and be awkward. Even if she doesn't like you, she won't be upset. Insert standard speech on "no means no" here. Take rejection well, someone else will be into you.

For those who haven't been in a full relationship yet, keep in mind that a girlfriend is not the solution to life. The heavens won't open up with singing cherubs. The first three months or so are exciting, then it starts to get routine. Not necessarily a bad thing, but your life will be about the same and there will be complications.

Like your girlfriend's cousin's baby is having a birthday. You have to go. Then you drive an hour or two and make small talk with relatives you don't know for a few hours. The relatives are usually nice, but that'll consume an entire Saturday. If her car breaks down on the way to work, you'll probably have to go pick her up, make arrangements with a garage, etc. When she gets the flu, you'll have to cancel plans and stick around the house. Lots of this kind of thing. Then you'll have to negotiate cleaning, cooking, laundry, shower times, possibly bedtime if there's an early riser/late sleeper conflict, the house thermostat, and all the other mundane stuff. You better believe there will be a negotiation of the quantity, size, and placement of audio gear. It can all be worked out, but discussing where the speakers can go isn't all champagne and romance.

As for making an intro at a bar, here's a good trick I learned from my friend K some years back. We'd be hanging out with the guys at a bar. If there was a group of women we wanted to talk to, we'd send them a round of glasses of water (with a $1 tip for each glass to the bartender). Some women acted insulted. Alright, no harm done. Others would find it completely hysterical. When that happened, lots of fun was had.

Speaking of bars, spend some time getting to know all the bartenders, staff and owner if the owner hangs around. Tip well, make small talk and get to know them. They will totally take care of you, make introductions and set you up. It also makes you look good. At my favorite place, I'll go in with hugs and handshakes for all the regulars, hug the owner if she's there and the bartender gets my drink without being asked, then I'll chat with the bartender for a bit. Women in there may or may not like me, but they never think I'm a bad guy. Also, the regulars and staff will introduce me to anyone new in there. Not to brag, but it really works well. I do wingman work for the regulars, too. Bars get a bad rep, but good ones are wonderful.

I'm using that. Unfortunately here at old town there aren't really any "regulars" there are WAY too many people moving in and out, tourists, etc. I tip VERY well (30-50%) here in southern california (and especially Old Town in Pasadena, Gas Lamp district in Orange County, Old Town Monrovia, and MANY others) there are simply too many people to get that "friendly neighborhood bar" atmosphere, let alone one with young women in my age bracket (I'm shooting for 20-27) My hair being cut is my first priority, after I switched to this specific herbal essences product (girly type hair needs girly type hair products) my hair got stronger and started growing longer, it is longer than my sisters or my mothers, my dad's girlfriends, and her daughters hair! Trust me that is where I'll start, but I'm afraid being a Douche is mandatory, you wouldn't believe how COLD these players are, they have NO heart, it was simply terrifying how they could interact with women on the level they did and not feel anything, but I must become that.
 
 

 

[DaBomb77766]

Quote:

I'm using that. Unfortunately here at old town there aren't really any "regulars" there are WAY too many people moving in and out, tourists, etc. I tip VERY well (30-50%) here in southern california (and especially Old Town in Pasadena, Gas Lamp district in Orange County, Old Town Monrovia, and MANY others) there are simply too many people to get that "friendly neighborhood bar" atmosphere, let alone one with young women in my age bracket (I'm shooting for 20-27) My hair being cut is my first priority, after I switched to this specific herbal essences product (girly type hair needs girly type hair products) my hair got stronger and started growing longer, it is longer than my sisters or my mothers, my dad's girlfriends, and her daughters hair! Trust me that is where I'll start, but I'm afraid being a Douche is mandatory, you wouldn't believe how COLD these players are, they have NO heart, it was simply terrifying how they could interact with women on the level they did and not feel anything, but I must become that.
 
 

 
Honestly, if you treat women with that kind of cold and heartless attitude, you're never going to get into a long and meaningful relationship.  It will be shallow and unsatisfying at best.  Sure, you'll get the girl - but what then?  There will be no meaning to it, no feeling.  You seem like you're trying to transform yourself into someone you're not.  That will not get you anywhere good.

 

[Permagrin]

Erik would you please write a book? You would be doing a service to everyone.

 

[ESCS]

Just 2 minutes ago, basically this same thing happened to me also (in MSN). I somehow felt it coming so I was not that shocked.
I just deleted all of our discussions from my hard drive but saved this one with a name "imachampion" , because I realised this just made me one bit stronger.

 

[gore.rubicon]

Pick up a copy of Neil Strauss's The Game

 

[DemonicLemming]

Given the quality of most people in general these days, I think "shallow and unsatisfying at best" would be something to brag about.  Most people never even get to that ascended level.  More to the point of the initial post, I've seen plenty of very nice girls in long-term relationships with, or married to, worthless douchebags.  Both parties enjoyed every moment, from some perverse logic I won't even try and analyze for fear of turning my brain into ash.  Much more rare is the situation where both the guy and girl are both good, decent, honest people and derive the most simple enjoyment from just being around each other.  Occasionally, you have to just sit back and say, "Yeah, life mostly sucks sometimes."
 
Not every single personal relationship needs to be "deep and fulfilling".  I've known too many guys who expect every female they talk with to become "good friends".  Most personal relationships are topical and only occur due to random chance of nature - and there's nothing wrong with that.  It makes the much more rare real relationships that much more enjoyable.
 
I'd also say that in current society, people put way, way, way too much reliance into the idea of always dating someone.  The majority of people either seem to refuse to leave pathetic relationships or are on a constant binge diet of pointless ones, simply because they've mentally conditioned themselves to be unable to cope with being single.  The instant stigmata our culture dumps on people who are doing something by themselves - going to dinner, watching a movie, shopping for clothes, any banal activity really - doesn't help things.
 
Quote:

Honestly, if you treat women with that kind of cold and heartless attitude, you're never going to get into a long and meaningful relationship.  It will be shallow and unsatisfying at best.  Sure, you'll get the girl - but what then?  There will be no meaning to it, no feeling.  You seem like you're trying to transform yourself into someone you're not.  That will not get you anywhere good.

 

 

[ESCS]

For a while I thought about this "now Im going to chance"-stuff, but after letting out some steam my mind changed.
Now Im not sure if I should keep trying or just move on. The girls friend told me shes already having problems with her boyfriend and thats shes crying because she was afraid to lose me after this.
She really cares about me, but I was just too slow.