[Blasto_Brandino]

I went to a live sound gig today to help a friend out (yes I know how to run a mixing board, and he says my audiophilia makes me better at adjusting the mix), a picnic with some bands playing <200 people there. but the real reason I went was to see her again, and she was there, cute as always and irresistibly quirky, we talked and did our little dance. She didn't say a word about it, but the lead guitarist from the sound guy's (my friend who I was helping out) band walked up to her and hugged her saying congratulations, he didn't realize her and this guy (who was also there) got married. 
what!?!?!
MARRIED!?!? REALLY!?!?!, I KNEW for a FACT last year at this exact time (the last picnic, it's an annual thing) she was not married, and as far as I knew not dating anyone either, so in the course of a year met this loser and married him!. I'm better looking, am better off (the guy didn't seem to be rolling in it, he wasn't treating her very well...) and am the nicest guy I know (all the other nice guys I know have fallen) but she preferred this douchbag?!?! She KNEW I was crazy about her and kept bugging her about having dinner, but she kept making excuses. NOW I used to live next door to this chick (the fact my friend knew her was a coincidence) , we had the same landlord in fact. But I moved to a full studio deeper into old town (corner of Colorado and Raymond, how much deeper can you get?) and this guy I knew who lived down the hall from me had moved next door to her building, he had attacked her for some reason and broke her jaw (hairline fracture I believe, needed a little wiring but nothing too bad) so she had to move out, I reason she moved in with this douche and some how they got married. that is all I can gather.
But I think it's time I shed all this good guy crap, I am a good guy, to my core, but I think it is my time to fall, just like all the other good guys I knew.
I just got my car running so now is a great time here is a picture of it (not running when taken,  1994 Mercedes SL600 V12 convertible, in fact, see that black sedan in the background, my boss has offered to sell it to me, it is a V12 as well );

 
SO should i fall and become a douchbag? it seems to be all these girls want! or should I stay a good guy (I don't know how much longer I can hold on to being a good guy, the more I get shot down like this the harder it is getting)?

 

[Spareribs]

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't have any real advise to give because I have a lack of experience with women. The only thing I can suggest is to put on some good headphones and enjoy the music?

 

[Uncle Erik]

Do not fall into the "nice guy" trap.

If she turned you down, she wasn't interested. Get over it. Move on.

Go out there and meet new women. There are lots of them.

Don't worry about being a dirtbag. Date as many as possible. If one of them wants to keep you, she will. But enjoy being single and have some fun.

There is no perfect woman for you. There are thousands you could have a great relationship with. If one doesn't work out, politely go on to another. If you want to meet more, become a "regular" at a bar and join a dating site. You'll meet a lot of women.

If one isn't into you, move on. You'll meet more. Treat all of them well and be respectful. When a good one comes along, she'll put her hooks in and keep you. You'll know when that happens.

Until then, write off this woman and don't worry about it. Someone much better will grab you sooner or later.

 

[Blasto_Brandino]

Quote:

Do not fall into the "nice guy" trap.

If she turned you down, she wasn't interested. Get over it. Move on.

Go out there and meet new women. There are lots of them.

Don't worry about being a dirtbag. Date as many as possible. If one of them wants to keep you, she will. But enjoy being single and have some fun.

There is no perfect woman for you. There are thousands you could have a great relationship with. If one doesn't work out, politely go on to another. If you want to meet more, become a "regular" at a bar and join a dating site. You'll meet a lot of women.

If one isn't into you, move on. You'll meet more. Treat all of them well and be respectful. When a good one comes along, she'll put her hooks in and keep you. You'll know when that happens.

Until then, write off this woman and don't worry about it. Someone much better will grab you sooner or later.

NO! The douchbags don't SO I WILL NOT! How can I respect them, when they cannot respect themselves, UNCLE ERIK, PM me I need your help with an account issue.....
 

 

[BattleBrat]

Yes, this is the name I will use from now on,,, Brandon was a Bitc#, so I am BattleBrat (this is my usual online handle anyway, how do you like that registration date 

?)
 
P.S Uncle Erik, Don't pretend dating is that easy, it ain't especially when you're a were a good guy. Girls L O V E douchbags, I've been shot down for plenty. This girl didn't bring me to the edge, she was the one to push me off.  fortunately I know a couple douchbags, not the best I know, but they'll do, teach me they will. They date chicks and treat them like crap all the time, and I will do the same They are cold, ICE cold, no emotion, no love, no warmth, they just want sex and to have fun, that's it, They once horrified me (I couldn't imagine having sex without being in love with the girl...), when I was a good guy, but I see now that is truly the best way to be. They've been waiting for me to fall anyway, good wingmen are hard to find. KEEP IN MIND THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION AND FEELINGS ON THE SUBJECT.

 

[tamahome77]

I feel for ya.  I had witness many situations where the bad guys get the girls and a few of my good guy friends are left hanging.  I guess some girls are attracted to those type of guys who appear confident, dangerous, & arrogant.

 

[alphaphoenix]

^For the most part, gals are attracted to confidence, a little danger, but not arrogance.  To the OP, most woman go for douche bags because they have low self esteem.  From a sociology perspective, people gravitate towards people of similar back grounds and personalities they've been surrounded by most of their lives.  Your "nice guy" persona didn't jive with her, but like UE said, there are many more gals who many will dig a nice guy, in fact most women do.  Just add a some humor and spice, and you'll be good to go, and don't forget about the confidence.  I admit, I've been a douche bag in the past and deliberately so, but that phase has long past.  My immediate advice is to take a break, get a new hair cut, buff up and/or tone up, learn to ride a motorcycle (gals love it), indulge in other passions like your music and cars and you'll be surprised how new fishies so to speak start coming around when you least expect it.  Never forgot who you are - nice guy or douche bag.  Whatever you do, and whatever happens, don't take back this gal.  You'll most likely get burned again. 

 

[BattleBrat]

Quote:

^For the most part, gals are attracted to confidence, a little danger, but not arrogance.  To the OP, most woman go for douche bags because they have low self esteem.  From a sociology perspective, people gravitate towards people of similar back grounds and personalities they've been surrounded by most of their lives.  Your "nice guy" persona didn't jive with her, but like UE said, there are many more gals who many will dig a nice guy, in fact most women do.  Just add a some humor and spice, and you'll be good to go, and don't forget about the confidence.  I admit, I've been a douche bag in the past and deliberately so, but that phase has long past.  My immediate advice is to take a break, get a new hair cut, buff up and/or tone up,  indulge in other passions like your music and cars and you'll be surprised how new fishies so to speak start coming around when you least expect it.  Never forgot who you are - nice guy or douche bag.

I will, and I'm a douch bag, i'll never forget it. You see being a douch bag is not bad, it is normal, being a good guy? INSANITY! 25 y.o. Virgin, HOW THE HELL IS THAT SANE!?!? Damn RELIGIOUS MUMBO JUMBO, I MOST ABSOLUTELY believe in G_D, but I've held out long enough, denied what I was supposed to be long enough. Douchbag is the new normal, that is why there are so many of us. I've dropped $4,000 in the last 3 months on audio equipment, how much more indulging do you want? That and I've been hearing that "least expect it" crap for years, nothing ever came, if you want it, you gotta be a douche and go get it, it's not gonna come to you. You've gotta be aggressive, and I have enough pent up hostility to fuel me for years.
 

 

[ostewart]

i have exactly the same problem. The girls never go for the nice guys, it makes it really hard, but when you do find someone, hopefully they will love having such a nice guy around. The douchbags usually get the girls, but the girls that go for the douchbags are not worth a nice guys time.
Good luck finding someone, you will. Just keep your head up.

 

[BattleBrat]

Quote:

i have exactly the same problem. The girls never go for the nice guys, it makes it really hard, but when you do find someone, hopefully they will love having such a nice guy around. The douchbags usually get the girls, but the girls that go for the douchbags are not worth a nice guys time.
Good luck finding someone, you will. Just keep your head up.

They won't, and "when" never comes.  quit wasting your time and fall, trust me the nice guy angle doesn't work, I had every advantage and still I got my ass handed to me, being a douchbag is not bad, it is NORMAL,  take the one piece of Uncle Erik's advice I agree with: Enjoy being single and have fun. 

 

[ostewart]

i like being a nice guy tho, i really couldnt even pretend to be a douchbag. I had a girl who loved me, i did everything, and she loved that i was so nice, but left me, after wanting to hang out and smoke, and drink and do her stuff, and ended up having an amazing time f**king someone i know, who was my friend, and he was drunk. So i'm pretty down atm too, but i wont fall to the level of a douchbag, it's not me, i will continue to be me untill i find someone who wants ME.

 

[kiteki]

Uh I think guys just try too hard with girls, let's all stop trying and just relax and let them come to us, (if everyone followed this advice girls would be much more flirty......).
 
Take a girl out on a date, but act unavailable and indifferent to the outcome, wait until she makes a move, but if she tries to kiss you just be like "I'm trying to drink my beer bitch".
 
 
 

 

[Permagrin]

Being a nice guy has two different meanings. One is the nice guy who tries too hard and that's a turn-off. The other nice guy is the one who is nice exactly because he's not a douche.

 

[kiteki]

 

i like being a nice guy tho, i really couldnt even pretend to be a douchbag. I had a girl who loved me, i did everything, and she loved that i was so nice, but left me, after wanting to hang out and smoke, and drink and do her stuff, and ended up having an amazing time f**king someone i know, who was my friend, and he was drunk. So i'm pretty down atm too, but i wont fall to the level of a douchbag, it's not me, i will continue to be me untill i find someone who wants ME.

I noticed in your profile you're 17, well, I was a nice guy like you when I was 17 too.... and then I eventually changed after a few psycho girlfriends.
 
I'm sorry about your story, I hope you have better luck than me.
 
I have one word of advice... watch out for girls under 20, it's difficult to find a serious girl at that age, when most girls secretly just want to "act young", it's exciting to find a new guy... improve self-esteem, all that crap.  you just have to live with it, it's just how a lot of young girls are, oh well, best of luck.
 
 

 

[ostewart]

i dont try to be nice, i'm just a naturally nice person. And i dont think myself better than anyone else. I'm just saying that girls are not attracted to nice guys, and that sucks. I think girls need to think more, and realise that nice guys are much better, and to realise that they are missing out on a big part of what a good relationship should be like.