Yikes - girl trouble.

[wfranklin]

Your last bullet says it all. No real connection, and definitely a lack of maturity on her part (not surprising, since she's only 15!). Go for the 30-year-olds!

 

[d-cee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mashman /img/forum/go_quote.gif I say hit it, or someone else will.

Wow, second post ever.

to the op: with all due respect, you may both be physically mature. you may even feel you are emotionally (but based on your account this doesn't appear to be the case)

but I am only 3 years older than you, and let me tell you there will be a lot of changes in your make up. many that you don't even realise. wait until things have stabilised (i don't even know when - i certainly haven't)

there are also a lot of things out of your control in this, hormones, pheromones that cause attraction between 2 people on a chemical level. you're not immune yet

 

[ecclesand]

I agree with other folks here who have advised to wait. Continue to be her friend but give it some time. If you two are meant to be together later, then it will happen.

 

[stevenkelby]

I like being the devils advocate so I say go for it. Be completely honest and do what you can to have a healthy relationship with her, knowing it will end someday.

You're sure you're not going to shaboink her, which seems to be the concern of everyone else here, so don't let the morality of it put you off. You see, most of us are only concerned with bonking but if you feel you can have a close, mutually respectful relationship without that happening anytime soon, and you can both control your inevitable desires then good on you. (But I don't believe it, for the record).

So yeah, give it a go, be realistic about it and good luck.

I say it's better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't done. Shaboinking not-withstanding of course.

Either way it'll be a learning experience, try to make it a positive one for you both.

 

[Jaw007]

Different strokes,for different folks!

 

[Contrastique]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevenkelby /img/forum/go_quote.gif I say it's better to "regret" something you have done, than something you haven't done.

X2. Although I'm not a big fan of the word 'regret'. Fun is fun & done is done.
Life is too short to feel regret; it's a waste of time. Talk to eachother and figure out what you both exactly want and if that matches, go for it.
I did the same thing once with a guy who was my truly everything best friend. It ended really hard and painful and we are no longer are in touch now. Still hurts.
But I'm glad I made that decision once to try out if we could keep up a real relationship. How well you think you may know someone, when you start a relationship you will inevitably find out about things you never knew / thought before.

 

[robm321]

The idea of following your heart is a romantic ideal. But the reality is that you need to follow your brain and use that as a guide over your emotions. That's what seperates us from the animals.

But I know the power of feelings. No matter what we say, you will follow your heart most likely. At my older age of 37 I still follow my heart to a fault.

 

[grawk]

No way should a 15 yr old be involved in a serious relationship. Just be friends and have fun. If you're not going to be having sex anyway, why not just stay friends, and do fun stuff together?

 

[Uncle Erik]

Dude, she's 15. Stay away.

Aside from being underage, she is going to change a LOT over the next three years. At 18, you probably won't recognize her personality. Then there's another massive personality change from 18-25 or so.

After that, you start growing hair in your ears, become increasingly cranky, and start conversations with "back in my day" then telling a story without a point.

Anyhow, my point is that the girl you love now is not going to be the same person in a few years. It doesn't make sense to get involved at such an early age. Even if you're sincere and get married, you're going to find yourself married to someone very different than she is today.

 

[Hoppergrass]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bon /img/forum/go_quote.gif 1/2 age + 7 years. thats the limits, stick to it

i've heard that before and i like it. having broken that rule and it went bad, i now stick to it.

 

[Drag0n]

QUOTE "" I'm not sure where this romantic attraction to her began. I know for certain that I've loved her platonically for at least 3-4 years. The likeliest possible DP for this was the Family Ball -""



Umm,,she is now 15,.....so you liked her romantically when she was *cough* 11 or so, and you were about 15?

mmmmm,k

 

[plainsong]

Having been a 15 year old girl who had her stuff together, I can say that this girl has no idea what she wants. It's even in your own bullet points. Crying fits? The teenage angst depression? Do you want to go through the emotional rollercoaster of puberty again? That's what's in store for you.

She wants someone older, that she can look up to, and this translates into romantic feelings. She thinks she knows what she's doing and she just doesn't. Don't get caught up in that. You are also changing, and if you want to hurt her, and hurt yourself, and radically slow down your own growth while damaging hers, then feel free to hit it.

I can tell you her parents will be less than thrilled with you as well.

OTOH, if these feelings are real, then they will be real as she grows out of this stage, and you grow more into who you will become. Don't destroy it now.

And I give the benefit of the doubt that it just seems like it's been years, and you haven't actually been in love with an 11 year old?

 

[PITTM]

Thought I would post it here instead of a new thread. I have been going out with a new girl, T, for the past 2 months now(im 25, shes 23, so age difference isnt an issue). She broke up with someone a month before our relationship and he is now stalking her pretty hard. He has called both of her parents multiple times, and now calls her cellphone from various numbers she wouldn't recognize. Yesterday, as she was leaving class, he was waiting at her car. This has obviously gone too far now. I'm not one for violence normally but I feel like I have to step in and tell him to go away, and if he wont I will have to get violent. I'm not sure if we're at the point of a restraining order yet, but its close. FWIW, she and i are pretty serious and she wants nothing to do with him at all. At the same time, I feel like if i respond at all I may be giving him what he wants and drawing himself back into her life, even if only as a dramatic entity. How do i procede from here?

 

[stevenkelby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PITTM /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thought I would post it here instead of a new thread. I have been going out with a new girl, T, for the past 2 months now(im 25, shes 23, so age difference isnt an issue). She broke up with someone a month before our relationship and he is now stalking her pretty hard. He has called both of her parents multiple times, and now calls her cellphone from various numbers she wouldn't recognize. Yesterday, as she was leaving class, he was waiting at her car. This has obviously gone too far now. I'm not one for violence normally but I feel like I have to step in and tell him to go away, and if he wont I will have to get violent. I'm not sure if we're at the point of a restraining order yet, but its close. FWIW, she and i are pretty serious and she wants nothing to do with him at all. At the same time, I feel like if i respond at all I may be giving him what he wants and drawing himself back into her life, even if only as a dramatic entity. How do i procede from here?

Can you take him?

 

[oicdn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericj /img/forum/go_quote.gif Uh huh. It's a bad idea because both of you are on the brink of periods of major life changes. Over the next, hey, lets be honest, 8 years or so, both of you are going to change a lot. Dynamics that work right now aren't going to work at all in a couple years, guaranteed. You're gonna do whatever you're gonna do, but I'm here to tell you, it'll end in tears.

Best advice here...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bon /img/forum/go_quote.gif 1/2 age + 7 years. thats the limits, stick to it

LOL...wow, I thought I was the only person (aside from a few close friends) that had that formula....awesome.