Women become attracted to nerdy guys as they get older

[hYdrociTy]

I must really have some issues then... I live in NYC and its half my fault. I either think everyones really dirty or superficial or if they seem on to me it must be some kindof ridicule or joke.. I think the key is recognizing if they are really interested or they are just looking at a monkey at the zoo

 

[Spareribs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hYdrociTy I must really have some issues then... I live in NYC and its half my fault. I either think everyones really dirty or superficial or if they seem on to me it must be some kindof ridicule or joke.. I think the key is recognizing if they are really interested or they are just looking at a monkey at the zoo

I apologize. I was dumb! I did not read your avator. I didn't realize you live in New York. Don't worry though. I went to school in Philadelphia, a big city too (not as big as New York) and still had trouble finding girls. I think you basically just need to be more aggressive and when you live in a big city, it may suprise you how easy it is to get girls. I'm naturally a shy person so it's not easy to find girls. But if I think the key is being more aggressive too. If a girl rejects you, then you may have just move on to other girls and keep trying, like the way how telemarketers do to get sales. You will then most likely find someone. It's like gambleing. You are bound to hit a winning.

That said, I think as a shy person myself, it's easier said than done. It may take a lot of effort to do this possibly due to your personality. Sometimes being shy causes you to be lonely or with no girls.

 

[ken36]

This thread seems to persist, so I'll give it a little more respect than my last post. My experience indicates that beautiful women, as they reach their 30s, in general seem to gravitate toward the guy that has a promising career, pays his taxes, shuns excesses, follows the rules and has excised the fires of spring. These are the ladies that were at the top of the of the high school desirability pecking order, that at the time dated the guys that were the most exciting, entered a lousy marriage, had one or two children and grew up fast, because they had to. Then they devote the rest of their life, to training their new nerdy man so he shines like a new penny. IMO.

 

[AC1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hYdrociTy Being asian too.. ultimate disadvantage... even asian women hate us... they go oh i like (another race) better and hotter blah blah i hate asian blah blah... hypocrites.. Ill never be those asian kids dying their hair blond and trying to be white or gangster... they think they are ganster with their hats and chains and racecars walking around while they are actually well off and not at all living in the projects. They they get the asian gangster girls.. the asian fobs get the fobs.. the regular ones prefer caucasians...

That just reminds me of a joke which I can't repeat fully here, but was told by a co-worker who got from his Asian comedian friend. Anyways, the butt of the joke is that on a scale of desirability for women, Asian guys rank below vibrators. Bahaha

Being Asian I would not say it is the "ultimate" disadvantage, yes I have discussed the same things with my Asian friends about where there are a lot of Asian girls that prefer other races, and we bitch about how being Asian is undesirable blah blah. But it really comes down to the individual cases. It's about how you are able to break away from this thinking that you are not desirable. Does it mean that you might have to work a bit harder to attract girls? Sure, but don't pretend it is some horrific disadvantage where it instantly detracts (there might be other things but not just for being Asian), because its not, it is all in your head. If you believe you are undesirable, it will be true.

Maybe just to give you (really Asian guys) a glimmer of hope or insipration, I have a story about a girl that worked in one of the stores for the company I work at. She was one of the cutest girls I have ever seen, especially cute babydoll face, blonde, very fit. She would always hang around me to talk to me when I visited the store, and I always thought she was just trying to get info about corporate since a lot of store people want to break into corporate. Well a year down the road (after playing a small role in getting the cute girl let go, but that is another story), I talked to one of the other girls the cute girl worked with, and I was told that she basically only dated Asian guys. I of course was stunned when I heard this and thought why couldn't I have known this before. And hmm, that also did explain a few things. Oh well, live and learn.

 

[kyrie]

> hYdrociTy

Don't worry, I'm skinny, asian, look asian, and I don't even own a car much less a beefy one. But I've done all right. You know something though, the most important thing by far in hooking up with girls is to have confidence in yourself. Shy or not shy is second-tier. Skinny, beefy, asian, caucasian, whatever. If you lose confidence and get all bitter and cynical about the world as you seem to be, you're essentially destroying your own chances. And remember that if you throw enough stones, one will end up hitting someone just by chance.

Don't worry, it's true that as women get older, the less they pay attention to non-personality traits like intelligence or physical fitness. This is not only because of stuff mentioned before like biological tendencies towards stability, but also because quite a few of them have had experience dating a smart, sporty guy who is also a total jackass. And if there are girls who value those "alpha" traits more than "stability" traits even when they get older...well, (warning: controversial statement ahead) they tend to be ones who die or destroy themselves while they're young, for whatever reason.

So as long as you remain open to possibilities and don't get stuck in that bitterness cycle, there will be chances. But don't go thinking that opportunities will just come up and bite you in the face, because that almost never happens. You need to take initiative, and let the world know about you. Good luck.

 

[hYdrociTy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kyrie > hYdrociTy But don't go thinking that opportunities will just come up and bite you in the face, because that almost never happens. You need to take initiative, and let the world know about you. Good luck.

Shiz.. I was counting on that..

 

[Illah]

Quote:

Originally Posted by plainsong 1 - Isn't that true of men as well? Carrying someone's baggage can get tiring. And old, quick. I personally prefer the quiet man. It seems to be the type I mostly have ended up with. 2 - Ehhh, so and so. I prefer to call it "women prefer integrity." It's not monetary success or critical aclaim, it's that you do your best at what you do. 3 - I'll quote a male friend of mine here because I think he hit it on the head. "Women don't see our appearence, they see potential."

Haha, on the surface it seems like you're disagreeing with me, but really you just said the girl version of what I said

I do disagree a bit with #3, at least if you're in your teens or 20's. Appearance helps. Maybe when you're older the 'potential' thing kicks in.

As for the Asian guy, remember that Japanese hipster boys are hot property for girls. Not hip-hop Fast and Furious, but the super-cool and stylish hipster dudes. I don't mean to be harsh, but the 'stereotypical' nerdy Asian kid who listens to his mom is not hot. Neither is the nerdy white guy who listens to his mom. Neither is the nerdy black guy who listens to his mom.

I think what Asian men percieve as a lack of sexiness is really a cultural difference. Mainland Asian and South Asian families value education and career above all else for their boys. Homes tend to be extremely disciplined. What you end up with are guys who are kinda quiet, obiedient, and studious.

Filipino families are 'Asian', but for the most part they're not so domineering. I notice they value a little more style, a little bit of social talent like dancing or whatever, and physical activities. I also notice that Flips don't complain so much in the woman department

The point of all this is that it's not a racial handicap, but a cultural one. The good thing is you can change that. You can learn to be more confident, socially engaging, etc. So don't feel like you're screwed by being Asian. It's more a matter of just getting out there. Find something you're into and go from there.

I was definetely no stud in high school, especially early on. But over the years I've learned a little and things have changed.

--Illah

 

[JahJahBinks]

It's ironic because Asians have the most population on Earth.

 

[hYdrociTy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JahJahBinks It's ironic because Asians have the most population on Earth.

well there are also many ipod buds out there....

 

[JahJahBinks]

I actually went to schools in Rego Park, NY. I studied at Russell Sage JHS and Forest Hills HS.

 

[hYdrociTy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JahJahBinks I actually went to schools in Rego Park, NY. I studied at Russell Sage JHS and Forest Hills HS.

HAHA I went to hillz junior and senior year... what year did you grad?

 

[JahJahBinks]

I graduated in 2001. I visited once in 2002 but haven't been there ever since.

 

[tennisets]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kyrie But don't go thinking that opportunities will just come up and bite you in the face, because that almost never happens.

Guess I got lucky

. One of my best friends set me up with my (now) girlfriend for her sorority's winter formal, totally blind, and it's worked out way better than any of us could have expected.

That said, I agree with the fact that if you're not confident in yourself you'll never get anywhere with girls. That is definitely the single most important thing you can do, is to be confident in yourself.

 

[NiceCans]

false

we always were, we just hid it to be cool

 

[lini]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NiceCans false we always were, we just hid it to be cool

Yup, honest as usual, the ladies...

Grinnings from Hannover!

Manfred / lini