Well-designed crossfeed is definitely not a gimmick. Listening to normal stereo recordings with crossfeed is not only closer to listening to speakers, but how we hear all day (unless you listen to headphones without it 24/7). I use the Meier crossfeed all the time, except with mono recordings.
Part of why crossfeed is not that popular in the high end, IMO, is that it goes against a certain 'purist' mentality - adding another component/circuit in the signal path. That, and the intial reaction that there is a lose of detail. With the Meier, in particular, there is also a perceived loss of bass, even though, to me, Meier crossfeed makes the bass seem less muddy. But if you're highly critical of sound, I can't see how you could claim that the sound with recordings made for speakers is more natural without a well-designed crossover.
An example I made recently was listening to a solo piano recording that uses 2 mics - one for the left side of the piano, and one for the right. There is a lose of continuation from the low to the high notes without crossfeed. It sounds more like two instruments, slightly out of sinc with one another. If all I had to listen was the stereo signal of this recording, I could live with it, but listening with even the lowest setting on my HA-2 is much more like the real thing.
Another example is with multi-tracked drums - especially recordings that don't spread the kit to the extreme widths of the soundstage, but that spread the different parts of the drum more in the center of the stage. When the drummer is hitting each part of the kit, each part of the kit seems to be further isolated without crossfeed - like each part of the drum kit is coming more from its own space and not naturally interacting as much with one another. It just sounds awkward to me after using crossfeed.
I use single instruments as obvious examples, because they are one entity and should not be sliced and diced too much. But this applies to the interaction of all the acoustic tracks in a recording. I can't speak much to electronic music, because I don't really listen that much to that type of music.
I think the whole listener fatigue argument is not convincing, though - if you're going to drop anything for a commecial headphone amp, I doubt the stress from crossfeed-less listening is an issue.