[archosman]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spareribs /img/forum/go_quote.gif It is possible to get used to being alone, IMO...

That's just it... you have to get used to being alone. I've come to the conclusion that it's not neccessarily a good thing to be alone. You do get used to it... and that's not very challenging lifestyle-wise.

 

[Darkestred]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chadbang /img/forum/go_quote.gif My mentor Charles Bukowski says that most of us find out too late that there's nothing wrong will being alone. It's a vicious circle we put ourselves in. We want a mate, then we want out. I've been married twice and if something should happen with this second marriage -- I think I've learned my lesson enough. I'll remain single. Being married I have no time for liesure/art/work. Hell, I haven't been able to listen my MY STEREO in a year and a half (baby's asleep, daughter watching tv, wife doesn't like my music...) If there were away around the whole sex thing, I bet many men would soon realize that it ain't so bad being alone.

This is funny. I had this conversation with my friend the other night. The following may offend or set some people off. Please understand this is how i feel and im not saying how it should be.

I was telling him im not sure why so many people want a mate that badly. We werent born to be needy.

Why do so many people make such a fuss about finding someone. I personallly think and this is my opinion that women are only good for love. Aside from that there is usually nothing but headaches. The fighting, the arguing over stupid things, the misunderstandings, the communication differences etc etc etc. But, Chris, this is the sacrifices you make loving someone...seems like a one way street to me. In most cases.

In general women tend to complain and get upset over things men would never. There is the whole catering to a woman's personality bs....sorry doesnt work for me.

I dont want to get into an arguement over why my socks are on the counter. It's trite. I do not have problems being single. Finding a woman has never crossed my mind.

[rant]Then there's the whole makeup thing. Why do women wear makeup? Seriously, do you know how many women we see on tv and say god, they are so beautiful. I highly doubt without that makeup we' be saying that. Of course, maybe aside from their bodies. I wish the majority of women could be a bit more real. Especially in those certain cases where guys are rejected because they dont fit the bill...to those ladies: remove your makeup...now you're compatible.[/rant]

yes, i have dated when i was younger and yes i have had sex. Im independent and feel there are far greater things in life than worrying will i ever find someone. I think it shows signs of weakness if you feel 'that' as opposed to someone who finds someone without looking.

Please if anyone wants to say that is immature, those are your thoughts, as are these, mine.

 

[braillediver]

"This post is awesome because it's true."

Quite. Script hits it out of the ballpark more often than not. Insightful and worth reading again.


Mitch

 

[ken36]

You just have to play it out, my friend.

 

[Arainach]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spareribs /img/forum/go_quote.gif Why not adjust to an asexual lifestyle?

Relationships aren't all about sex, you know. There's the companionship aspect too. I think that when people make sex the primary reason for their relationships that's the main reason it all falls apart. Quote:

Why do women wear makeup? Seriously, do you know how many women we see on tv and say god, they are so beautiful. I highly doubt without that makeup we' be saying that.

Didn't you just answer your own question?

 

[nibiyabi]

As always, scrypt, simply brilliant. I can't imagine how I could improve upon your post at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spareribs /img/forum/go_quote.gif since I'm an ugly guy, it was difficult for me to get girls.

Yeah, you are pretty hairy.

 

[plainsong]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkestred /img/forum/go_quote.gif This is funny. I had this conversation with my friend the other night. The following may offend or set some people off. Please understand this is how i feel and im not saying how it should be.

Being that this is the internet, you can post your thoughts, but people...including women

can comment on them.

Quote:

I personallly think and this is my opinion that women are only good for love. Aside from that there is usually nothing but headaches.

So I guess I need to go through that "Honorary Man" ceremony before anything I say will be taken seriously. Right, thanks for letting the girl-fi members know that we couldn't possibly fill our pretty little heads with anything useful to such a big strong Internet Male as yourself. I think it's safe to say you just played yourself.

Quote:

In general women tend to complain and get upset over things men would never. There is the whole catering to a woman's personality bs....sorry doesnt work for me.

And of course, your ego needs no stroking, right? You're big and strong and feel no need to put anyone else down over some generalization such as.. I dunno... gender? We are already Less Than in your eyes, so what could we possibly know?

The more you put someone else down, the more insecure you are. A confident secure man is not threatened by his female equal.

Quote:

[rant]Then there's the whole makeup thing. Why do women wear makeup? Seriously, do you know how many women we see on tv and say god, they are so beautiful. I highly doubt without that makeup we' be saying that. Of course, maybe aside from their bodies. I wish the majority of women could be a bit more real. Especially in those certain cases where guys are rejected because they dont fit the bill...to those ladies: remove your makeup...now you're compatible.[/rant]

To attract men such as yourself, who don't deserve them, in order to live up to airbrushed pictures in magazines and a perfect ideal that doesn't exist.

Quote:

yes, i have dated when i was younger and yes i have had sex.

Way to work in that unrelated brag. Yay for you, you had teh sexors. Do you want a cookie?

Quote:

Please if anyone wants to say that is immature, those are your thoughts, as are these, mine.

Immature? No. Sad? Pitiful? Pathetic? Yes, very. But thanks for letting me know that's one less person that would ever take a girl-fi member here seriously.

 

[GlendaleViper]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkestred /img/forum/go_quote.gif In general women tend to complain and get upset over things men would never. There is the whole catering to a woman's personality bs....sorry doesnt work for me.

Your misogyny is astounding. I hope to god a woman never finds you. Catering to that kind of personality is a recipe for castration.

 

[Samgotit]

My Grandfather was a very wise man. He'd often sit me down and share advice he'd picked up over the ages. He did this throughout my childhood and teenage years. Most kids around these ages would be annoyed and bored by what an old man had to say, but I hung on his every word. He was wild, funny, and interesting. He could mix together expletives like a foul mouthed ballerina forced to pirouette endlessly at gun point; the result always helped him make his point. He talked of the great things he'd seen: WWII, foreign places, the rise of industry, finance and other subjects. Right before he went loopy, we had a little talk about relationships. He said something that became a revolutionary piece of advice to me. He sat me down on his old deacon's bench and held my eye cold. He said, "Women.... you can't live with them; give me a beer."

 

[kireness]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrypt /img/forum/go_quote.gif You'll realize what you did to provoke this much later, after you receive a call or letter in which she enumerates things she resented but dared not mention because you were an uncompromising force in her life and she hated the thought of losing you until she hated the burden of keeping you more.

Or you'll have the misfortune of never understanding her. Then when you call six months after you break up to reestablish old ties, and mistakenly interpret her lingering anger and resentment as residual "feelings" (rather than a deep-rooted disgust of your memory that can never be alleviated), you'll be lost in your bubble of confusion until your next relationship falls apart.

And the women turned mad by their ex-boyfriends will decide to never again date untrained men, ruining all other men's chances for sex and happiness.

 

[mrdeadfolx]

Well spoken Scrypt, I find it hard to disagree, having a mild understanding of the female psyche. The traits you describe and their reasons for being so are quite on-point, but it's also done so on a general and not an individual case basis. This girl is very unique, and more often than not surprises me in the ways she doesnt live up to what Ive stereotyped her as because of her "type". The fact that she is psysically beautiful is not the list-topping trait that attracts me to her, the traits I listed were not at all in order of importance.
Ive dated far less attractive women, I admit. The most important thing about her to me is the fact that she's generally a happy person. When there is no reason for frowns and gloominess, you won't find her gloomy or frowning. This is rare to me because for some reason, many of the girls I've dated have been extremely overdramatic and pessimistic. They have found difficulty in every opportunity, and not opportunity in every difficulty, which to me was a serious dealbreaker.
I'm a strong believer in the old addage "opposites attract". She has very different views, interests and hobbies than I do, and to me that always makes for good debate and conversation. I've dated a few girls that agreed with me on everything and liked everything I liked and nothing I didnt, and it got extremely dull extremely quickly. With her, I enjoy trying the things she likes and she enjoys testing the waters with what I like (even head-fi!), it keeps things new for both of us, and our opposites dont usually bring argument. Although our interests and hobbies are not always compatible, our personalities are. We enjoy each others company and do not try to change each other. I dont want to date the female version of myself.

Whether or not it will pan out for the long haul remains to be seen, but at this point we are definitely enjoying dating each other, and even if it were to not work out, I'm not the kind of guy that cries in his pillow when things don't go his way. In fact, I find it hard to be heartbroken when things go south, because I handle myself so well after a breakup, that the idea of future reconciliation is never (to this point) far-fetched. I've never once been dumped by a girl who didnt at least try to come back. Sometimes its worked other times it hasnt, but each time has been an extremely valuable learning experience, which I feel has given me an edge over other guys my age, who oftentimes seem to speak in the moment instead of using their brains first. They will say, "I want you back so bad, I cant be without you! *cry and whine*", basically crushing any chance they had for the future. Even if I were to THINK that, I would act properly so that if getting the girl back were my goal, I would act with composure so that the girl will at least want to stay on good terms, and go from there. When you've watched so many guys (including close friends) make fools of themselves after breakups and burn their most treasured bridges, its hard to not pick up a thing or two along the way. I assume women notice this as well, because since I've been in my early twenties my number of opportunities with women have gone through the roof, and I can assume that the way I carry myself, or "play the game" so to speak has something to do with it.

 

[Spareribs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by archosman /img/forum/go_quote.gif That's just it... you have to get used to being alone. I've come to the conclusion that it's not neccessarily a good thing to be alone. You do get used to it... and that's not very challenging lifestyle-wise.

I think it can also depend on the person. Being alone can be good for some people. They can concentrate on hobbies and other activities. I think the reality is this:

Not everyone will be lucky to find a soul mate or someone compatible. So do you suffer in a bad relationship? I think if that's the case and you can't seem to find a good match, it's best to be alone and focus your energy elsewhere in life.

True, it could be empty but it's not that bad. For a long time, I was alone and it wasn't bad actually. I now have a female friend but if this relationship were to break and I was stuck being alone, I could adjust. My co-worker is also single and does not date at all. I talk to him a lot and he seems fine.



Quote:

Originally Posted by Arainach /img/forum/go_quote.gif Relationships aren't all about sex, you know. There's the companionship aspect too. I think that when people make sex the primary reason for their relationships that's the main reason it all falls apart.Didn't you just answer your own question?

Maybe I was not clear and I apologize. What I meant was someone in a companion-less life style. That was what I meant- living a life with no close friend or companion.

I do think that it's possible to live a good simple life of not being close to anyone and have a positive outlook on life. I've done it for a long time. Yes, it was not perfect and there were times when I was sad and lonely but many people go through periods of loneliness sometimes in their life so it's not really abnormal. But overall, I think it could be ok for some people to live a companion-less life. Of course, it's not for everybody.

 

[Spareribs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arainach /img/forum/go_quote.gif Relationships aren't all about sex, you know. There's the companionship aspect too. I think that when people make sex the primary reason for their relationships that's the main reason it all falls apart.Didn't you just answer your own question?

Also, when I said asexual life style, I meant no sex.

The definition of an asexual life style is a life of NOT having sex with anyone.

Asexuality means no sexuality.

I know, from a quick glance you probably thought it was the opposite. No big deal though.

 

[TopShelf]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spareribs /img/forum/go_quote.gif Why not adjust to an asexual lifestyle? I know a guy who became an asexual after his divorce and he likes it. (No, it's not me) Sure it's a little lonely at times but there are advantages too. He loves to travel and he gets to make his own decisions and he enjoys it. I'm not asexaul but since I'm an ugly guy, it was difficult for me to get girls. So for a while, I also went on vacations alone and I have to admit, it was a lot fun. It is possible to get used to being alone, IMO. Living an asexual lifestyle isn't too bad once you adjust to it. There are advantages.

Thats pretty much me to a Tee, as well.
I'm a good looking guy (or so my mommy says =), who is fit, materialistic, all the junk women enjoy. Never really had women problems, or getting them. (not trying to toot my own horn).

But one day, after a relationship ended, I became that description.
I have been like this for a good three or so years, and for the most part, I love it. Of course you get the "I'm so lonely, someone love me" syndrome every once in a while, but I just end up thinking, why I do it, which is:

Saving up money
Knowing I will not be single all my life, you might as well enjoy it when you can.
Freedom, to the power of 100. Go anywhere, be anyone, do anyone (I mean anything).
Find yourself, and discover what you want to be. You are your own boss, all the time.

I still talk women up, hit on the hot ones, and when I am out with friends, or pals from work, their wives or girlfriends, assume I am spoken for, or surprised I have no love in my life. Of course, how long do I want it to last? And do I become so "alone", that I am saying this when I am 30, 35, 40, 50 and then dead??? (I am 24 now). Time will tell, but I think its coming soon, just based on what I have done or want to do I guess

 

[AuroraProject]

Yeah the dating scene really sucks. Being newly divorced and out into the dating world after 10 years has really thrown me for a loop. The only thing I really miss from the marriage is the companionship (and my dog), no sex doesn't bother me. I don't have the best luck with women, and I'm not a great looking guy, so dating has been rough so far. I am starting to enjoy being alone though, as mentioned I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to.

To quote from one of my favorite movies: "I am alone, I am not lonely."