If you could take a mulligan (do over) for one thing in your life, what would it be?

[Uncle Erik]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AVALover5498 /img/forum/go_quote.gif I truly do hate my life. I'm not saying I'm going to sit around and sulk all day. I get out of the house. I'm taking classes. I hang out with friends. But I hate all of it. -Chris-

I don't know what happened to you, but you have to change. Everyone has been through rough times - I certainly have - but that's not an excuse to be miserable. As cheesy as it sounds, you have to make the best of it. Decide that you're going to have fun in spite of everything.

Also, you sound like you're young. A few years will put a different perspective on things. Really, it will. What seems like a terrible problem now won't seem like anything when you're older.

I've pretty much gotten happier with each passing year. I'm 37 and looking forward to the rest. Along with the bad stuff, you also get happy surprises along the way. Last weekend, I ended up with a new girlfriend.

I wasn't expecting it, but am not complaining. Each day, you might run into something really good. You never know. That helps keep me going.

You have nothing to lose by making an effort to enjoy life. You're already miserable, so what harm is there in trying? You can wallow in misery and you'll continue to be unhappy. If you make an effort to enjoy things, well, you might end up enjoying them. If you don't, then you won't have lost anything.

Depression is something of a fashionable pose for the young. But it won't make anyone feel sorry for you. Enjoy what you can while you can. You never know when it will be over. Might as well have a few drinks and some fun with your friends.

 

[Pepsi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Erik /img/forum/go_quote.gif I don't know what happened to you, but you have to change. Everyone has been through rough times - I certainly have - but that's not an excuse to be miserable. As cheesy as it sounds, you have to make the best of it. Decide that you're going to have fun in spite of everything. Also, you sound like you're young. A few years will put a different perspective on things. Really, it will. What seems like a terrible problem now won't seem like anything when you're older. I've pretty much gotten happier with each passing year. I'm 37 and looking forward to the rest. Along with the bad stuff, you also get happy surprises along the way. Last weekend, I ended up with a new girlfriend. I wasn't expecting it, but am not complaining. Each day, you might run into something really good. You never know. That helps keep me going. You have nothing to lose by making an effort to enjoy life. You're already miserable, so what harm is there in trying? You can wallow in misery and you'll continue to be unhappy. If you make an effort to enjoy things, well, you might end up enjoying them. If you don't, then you won't have lost anything. Depression is something of a fashionable pose for the young. But it won't make anyone feel sorry for you. Enjoy what you can while you can. You never know when it will be over. Might as well have a few drinks and some fun with your friends.

Couldn't agree more with Erik. I've been in that stage. Worse quite frankly, there was a point where i'd go to school, come home, lock myself in my room until the very next day and repeat the process all over again for 2 years. I started to fade away from my friends, i pushed my family away and kept myself locked up in my own misery, i never even got to know my roommates in those years. I felt as if life is full of b.s and we were all meant to be put on this earth to suffer. Man was it depressing. Life truly sucked.

My grandfather had passed away. The third person i had to lose to Cancer. Imagine watching a man you respected with the utmost regard outlive 2 of his own kids, only to die 3 years later. That experience led me into hibernation mode, it was as anti-social as it got.

I guess the reason why i feel so strongly about you talking in such a depressed way was because i was just like you. It wasn't until I had finally opened up to my father and i had realized that even though sh!t got rough, I still had family nonetheless, and i wasn't about to fail them. I'm sure you have family, think about how would they feel if they saw you like that. Think about your parents going to bed at night worrying about their son not knowing if he was okay feeling helpless.

Find that source of incentive or motivation that would help your change. Open up let the people you trust most know what you're going through. However how you do it, move on. I know it may not mean much, but i know exactly how you feel.

 

[Judge Buff]

The worst things that have ever happened to me are because of my own stupidity. My dad used to say that it didn't matter how many times you got knocked-down in this world... what mattered is how many times you got back up.

Kirosia, in a thread you started about your education/career a while back, I picked-up on your apparent depression and told you to talk to your physician about medication. I just want to reiterate that. If Uncle Erik, or anyone else, is in touch with this youngin', get him to a DOCTOR, if possible.

 

[Judge Buff]

People are posting about what is clinically called "anhedonia." It's the inability to enjoy things that should be enjoyable... from good food to sex, from friends to lovers. It's one of the core symptoms for a number of psychiatric disorders, but it's a prime one in depression.

These folks must get to a physician. Depression is treatable.

 

[tvrboy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Judge Buff /img/forum/go_quote.gif People are posting about what is clinically called "anhedonia." It's the inability to enjoy things that should be enjoyable... from good food to sex, from friends to lovers. It's one of the core symptoms for a number of psychiatric disorders, but it's a prime one in depression. These folks must get to a physician. Depression is treatable.

Yes, that's true. Too bad many Americans still believe depression is just a "bad mood," not a chemical imbalance.

 

[Raez]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AVALover5498 /img/forum/go_quote.gif I truly do hate my life. I'm not saying I'm going to sit around and sulk all day. I get out of the house. I'm taking classes. I hang out with friends. But I hate all of it. -Chris-

If you actually hated life, you wouldn't bother getting out of the house or hanging out with friends.

 

[Happy Camper]

Slothy.

 

[Currawong]

From my own battle with depression, one of the things I've learned is that emotion is energy stored in the body, it's not just "in your head". However, I believe two of the root causes are: poor food, and a lack of purpose in life. The junk we called food nowadays, along with chemical and electronic pollution are very much responsible for some of the problem. Just go out into the countryside and feel how much nicer it is than the city, then spend some time drinking clean water and eating fresh produce (and no junk food) and you'll feel radically different after a month or two. For a personal example, I found if I ate a lot of cheddar cheese at lunch, during the afternoon and evening I'd be grumpy and irritable. All I had to do was stop or change that one thing in my diet and 50% of my waking day was no longer miserable.

 

[ericj]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Currawong /img/forum/go_quote.gif From my own battle with depression, one of the things I've learned is that emotion is energy stored in the body, it's not just "in your head". However, I believe two of the root causes are: poor food, and a lack of purpose in life. The junk we called food nowadays, along with chemical and electronic pollution are very much responsible for some of the problem. Just go out into the countryside and feel how much nicer it is than the city, then spend some time drinking clean water and eating fresh produce (and no junk food) and you'll feel radically different after a month or two. For a personal example, I found if I ate a lot of cheddar cheese at lunch, during the afternoon and evening I'd be grumpy and irritable. All I had to do was stop or change that one thing in my diet and 50% of my waking day was no longer miserable.

Nonsense. Depression is a response to external stimulus, like anything else sentient beings do.

If you equate it with digestive distress, I posit that you have been living a pleasant life.

 

[Judge Buff]

^ Well, that's somewhat oversimplified, but it's better than dairy products as an etiology. Lol... pass the Paxil.

 

[scompton]

Kirosia and AVALover5498, get help. I suffered with major phsycological problems in my teens and 20s before I got help in my late 20s. I self medicated with pot and LSD and it was when I realized that was getting out of hand and tried to stop that I ended up needing help. I ended up spending a month in the hospital. I ended up going though 3 psychiatrists until I found one that got my diagnosis correct and gave me some medication specific to my problem. That and 2 years of therapy made me fairly well adjusted. I met my wife in 12 step programs and we've been married for 17 years.

I like my life now for the most part. Most of what I might choose to do over, such as getting help earlier, finishing college, etc, I wouldn't want to change now, because I never would have met my wife.

The one thing I would do over is the same as lmilhan. Start putting money away sooner. I'm going to retire comfortably in 10 more years, but my wife is eligible to retire now and if I had started really saving in my 20s, I'd be ready to retire now too.

 

[ericj]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Judge Buff /img/forum/go_quote.gif ^ Well, that's somewhat oversimplified, but it's better than dairy products as an etiology. Lol... pass the Paxil.

*shrug* there are anthropologists who think that depression is an adaptation. A response to failure that makes you stop trying can increase your chances of survival.

So, for example, a group of people searching for some great place to live will eventually get disheartened and settle for a good enough place to live, where they'll be more productive than if they were constantly looking for some better place.

Similarly, constantly gunning for superiority when the alpha in your community is clearly capable of rebuffing your every attempt isn't going to improve your odds of passing on your genes.

It only becomes unhealthy when it becomes systemic. That's a theory, anyway - that sometimes acceptance of failure improves your odds.

If you're lactose intolerant, or not eating enough fiber, dairy foods can make you feel a little down for sure. But that's nowhere near what real live depression can do to you.

 

[Currawong]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericj /img/forum/go_quote.gif Nonsense. Depression is a response to external stimulus, like anything else sentient beings do. If you equate it with digestive distress, I posit that you have been living a pleasant life.

So what in the person responds to the stimulus? If my physical body is in a healthy state and I'm not tired, I'm less likely to respond negatively to external stimulus, aren't I?

 

[RedLeader]

You know, this is probably the most honest and frank discussion that I have seen from a group of strangers about some of the pain and helplessness that they have seen and endured. Yes, I agree that life can be difficult, and yes, some of us are genetically predisposed to these feelings and problems. But I think even speaking about it to some strangers on the internet, is helpful. I've seen a good friend battle with depression and anxiety, and friendship, love and help has picked him up from when his mother died when he was 12. It's a long, difficult road, but it is shared by all on it.

I don't think I want to take a mulligan. I've screwed up for sure, and the ex-fiance was just a dumb decision by me. Hit a really nasty depression there for awhile, but out of it came a complete career change and a pretty large life improvement. I'm one of those people that believe things in life happen for a reason, it's just pretty darn hard to see it most days. My mistakes define me just as much as my successes, and although it would be nice to wipe them away, it would be taking part of me with it, and I don't want that.

Just know that whoever you are and wherever you are, there are people that care about you, people that love you and people that would miss you if you were gone. Whatever your belief system, I think life should have a purpose, it's just up to you to decide what that purpose is. It might change 50 times in your life, but I think its part of the human condition, we need something to strive for and exist for, or we drift aimlessly towards death.

 

[krismusic]

^^^^^ Very cool post.