[Happy Camper]

We all have had a moment or decision that we wish we could take a mulligan on. Be it a sports play, a relationship decision, purchase or not, etc.

What would you want to do over if you could?

I'll wait on mine as I want to see where this thing goes.

 

[Kirosia]

I'd have chosen to die at birth. My sister and brother before me died due to miscarriage/birth complications, and I was born premature, eventually believed to be dead by the doctors. I consider my living a big "**** you" by whatever magical plush deity that may or may not exist.

 

[TopPop]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'd have chosen to die at birth. My sister and brother before me died due to miscarriage/birth complications, and I was born premature, believed to be dead by the doctors. I consider my living a big "**** you" by whatever magical plush deity that may or may not exist.

Joke?

 

[Kirosia]

Nope. It's like by some miraculous odds I was given life, only to be denied the very things that make it worth living. My humor and compassion don't come from love, friendship, and hope, but suffering, insecurity, and loneliness.

 

[TopPop]

This is gonna sound so cheesy, I'm sure, but I wouldn't change anything I've done. My "mistakes" help define who I am.

From The Big Kahuna (one of my fav flicks):

Quote:

Phil: The question is, do you have any character at all? And if you want my honest opinion, Bob, you do not. For the simple reason that you don't regret anything yet. Bob: Are you saying I won't have any character unless I do something I regret? Phil: No, Bob. I'm saying you've already done plenty of things to regret. You just don't know what they are. It's when you discover them. When you see the folly in something you've done. And you wish you had to do over. But you know you can't because it's too late. So you pick that thing up and you carry it with you. To remind you that life goes on. The world will spin without you. You really don't matter in the end. Then will you attain character. Because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself all across your face.

 

[TopPop]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia /img/forum/go_quote.gif Nope. It's like by some miraculous odds I was given life, only to be denied the very things that make it worth living. My humor and compassion don't come from love, friendship, and hope, but suffering, insecurity, and loneliness.

Well, you are alive. I hope that you might be able to find some joy in that, in the end.

 

[Kirosia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TopPop /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well, you are alive. I hope that you might be able to find some joy in that, in the end.

One of the happiest moments I remember, one of the few times I've truly felt alive, was when I thought death was at my doorstep. I was ready then, and even after all these years, a part of me is still waiting for that door to open.

 

[9pintube]

Since a "MULLIGAN" is often associated with the game of golf and the shortest holes on most courses are par 3s......I'll take it that my "MULLIGAN" can really be 3 things, Right? So I'll say my first (don't laugh) three wives..........And yes I finally found and married a "KEEPER"!!!!!!Who loves me as I am........an AUDIOPHILE!!!!!

 

[Happy Camper]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'd have chosen to die at birth. My sister and brother before me died due to miscarriage/birth complications, and I was born premature, eventually believed to be dead by the doctors. I consider my living a big "**** you" by whatever magical plush deity that may or may not exist.

What makes you breath, eat and drink, find shelter, listen to music?

 

[Kirosia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Camper /img/forum/go_quote.gif What makes you breath, eat and drink, find shelter, listen to music?

Inherent human instinct of survival. Probably the main reason I haven't eaten a bullet yet.

 

[bcpk]

Try stuff out, Kirosia. Eventually you'll find something worth living for. Sport, nature, whatever.

 

[Bender Rodriguez]

I would redo my year of law school and finish the remaining two.

 

[9pintube]

LIFE IS GOOD, MAN!!!!!!I Hope YOU find PEACE SOON.........

 

[120717]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia /img/forum/go_quote.gif Inherent human instinct of survival. Probably the main reason I haven't eaten a bullet yet.

Seems I'm somehow in the same boat. Consider that your opinion/gauge of happiness/pleasure is relative to your gauge/opinion (and experience) of suffering/pain.

If by some mental/physical disability you couldn't experience negative emotion or physical discomfort, the world would seem much more pointless than if you couldn't experience positive emotions or pleasure.

So seek safety and comfort in life, then work for stable income to allow a constant enough array of opportunities to enjoy...what else is there for an indifferent person.

I hope somethin cheers you up today Kirosia.

 

[Kirosia]

Quote:

So seek safety and comfort in life, then work for stable income to allow a constant enough array of opportunities to enjoy...what else is there for an indifferent person.

I'm not necessarily indifferent, it just got to point where the only emotions I knew were pain and sadness, and it was killing me inside. Now I'm half dead, yearning to live but waiting to die. I can't form real relationships with people because I don't view them as such, and I'm not motivated to take on life because I don't see myself as being truly alive. My only real passion comes from hatred, something my rational mind won't ever allow me to embrace.