[JadeEast]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hockeyb213 /img/forum/go_quote.gif ...after screwing up a really good opportunity over the weekend I am determined to become as knowledgeable as I possibly can be so it doesn't happen again.

Realizing that blowing an opportunity or failing isn't so bad really can help your future interactions. At your age there are hundreds if not thousands of bright, smart sexy women who will pass through your life, some for a minute, some for years. Don't get too hung up missing a few.

Eye contact good, stare-bear bad.
Confidence good, hubris bad.

Be yourself because if you're not they are going to figure it out.

 

[hockeyb213]

To clarify everything I believe I mentioned it on a earlier page I am looking for more of a lasting relationship but one that is on the light side because at my age a serious relationship is something that doesn't work it seems.

 

[AudioDwebe]

Let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly:

You're asking a bunch of guys who probably have more of a "virtual" life than a real one suggestions about how to pick up women?

Okay.

This reminds me of that "so you think you're hot" thread in a forum made up probably of 98 percent males.

I'm single.

And clueless.

Sorry.

 

[LeftyGorilla]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hockeyb213 /img/forum/go_quote.gif To clarify everything I believe I mentioned it on a earlier page I am looking for more of a lasting relationship but one that is on the light side because at my age a serious relationship is something that doesn't work it seems.

you may be more mature than you think!

But you know, women of your age might not be so sure how to approach men, or be prepared to respond to even the best, most honorable approach.

have some fun, stay safe, and try not to hurt anyone. Be honest, fair, and nice.

figuring out women is one of life's greatest joys!

 

[hockeyb213]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeftyGorilla /img/forum/go_quote.gif you may be more mature than you think! But you know, women of your age might not be so sure how to approach men, or be prepared to respond to even the best, most honorable approach. have some fun, stay safe, and try not to hurt anyone. Be honest, fair, and nice. figuring out women is one of life's greatest joys!

Oh I know my maturity level the problem is I am more mature then pretty much everyone in my peers area and I probably would be better off with a girl at the college level in terms of my maturity but that would be very difficult to get until I actually am in college next year. Walking around it is like everyone wants a hook up and no commitment at all. To me the friendship and companionship aspect of a girl is right there in importance with the physical stuff so basically I want something that most don't want.

 

[Ttvetjanu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeftyGorilla /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yeah, this is not cool on any level. Totally out of line, not funny, and not acceptable. Real men really have to stand up and not allow this sort of mentality to go unchallenged. You know why some women are hard to approach? Because they have to deal with douchebags who think like that. Make women feel safe in your communities and everyone can live more freely.

It was a joke, and if the girl has a sense of (dark?) humor, it might even work. I've personally never had the guts to try that one out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hockeyb213 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Oh I know my maturity level the problem is I am more mature then pretty much everyone in my peers area and I probably would be better off with a girl at the college level in terms of my maturity but that would be very difficult to get until I actually am in college next year. Walking around it is like everyone wants a hook up and no commitment at all. To me the friendship and companionship aspect of a girl is right there in importance with the physical stuff so basically I want something that most don't want.

The sad truth is that most (beautiful/hot) girls at your age are rarely looking for a serious and long-lasting relationship. I was the same as you at (approximately?) your age, well, a couple years ago anyway. I just wanted the whole companionship/friendship aspect, but I found it very difficult to find any reasonable girls that would be interested. Now I am more experienced and my attitude has changed quite radically... To be honest not sure if it has changed for the better. Trying is never bad, but trust me, college will be a much better place.

 

[LeftyGorilla]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ttvetjanu /img/forum/go_quote.gif It was a joke, and if the girl has a sense of (dark?) humor, it might even work. I've personally never had the guts to try that one out.

Sexual assault is not funny.

 

[AmanGeorge]

I've read the Game - it's a great read, and I think it has a lot to teach about attraction. You don't have to play all the manipulative/offensive games that the book talks about, but I think the mindset of making yourself fun, interesting, different, confident, and in control/not subservient is absolutely crucial to generating attraction.

Now, this type of advice isn't the end-all, be-all of relationship advice. Having a successful long-term/committed relationship actually takes a very different set of skills, but you can't get into a relationship without that first spark, and that spark is never going to come from a mindset of "omg I want to have a relationship with you, we would be perfect together, why don't you see that?"

 

[hockeyb213]

I feel as if this whole game idea is sorta dumb is it so difficult for people to be a little more upfront with each other rather than this "hinting" kind of stuff which almost comes off as childish?

 

[Asr]

If you don't understand women, that's something no one can help you with and they will remain a mystery to you for life.

As for approaching them, not sure what's hard about it. Walk up to one and talk about something. You're overthinking this if you have to ask about it.

 

[Ub3rMario]

I don't if this hasn't been said already but here's my advice:

If you're into a girl, try to talk to her like she's someone you're not interested in. I have always found that I have really good conversations with girls i'm not interested in and then the ones I really like or that i'm attracted to, trip me up. It may seem weird but I think it allows you to relax and hold the girl in such high regards so that you can actually notice she's only another human.

Give it a shot it may help to be more natural.

 

[Antony6555]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hockeyb213 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well...I figure most of the head-fi community is a more mature community chuck filled with adults who can give commendable and insightful advice rather then the ole' 13 year old flame war crap found on most forums.

Head-fi has its share of flamewars, hehe. But honestly, while head-fi's user group may be older than the inhabitants of many other forums, they're not necessarily more mature or sophisticated, particularly socially since many are probably geeks of some kind (I know I am.)

In any case, based on my experience in high school (I started college last year) the reality is most people your age are emotionally and intellectually pretty childish. You can't expect deep philosophical conversations or any commitment out of the vast majority of them. This will change in college,, for some.

My advice to you is to take things more lightly and just try to have fun. This way you'll learn the sort of basic things you need to know going into a relationship, and it'll be easier to develop a deeper relationship in college.

 

[hockeyb213]

Yeah unfortunately while I can change myself and be mature maturity is something that cannot be taught but rather acquired over time as a person grows up. (though sometimes people don't quite grow up when they get older lol)

 

[wantmyf1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmanGeorge /img/forum/go_quote.gif I've read the Game - it's a great read, and I think it has a lot to teach about attraction. You don't have to play all the manipulative/offensive games that the book talks about, but I think the mindset of making yourself fun, interesting, different, confident, and in control/not subservient is absolutely crucial to generating attraction.

AmanGeorge, glad I didn't offend you by linking your comments to "The Game". There's a lot of stuff in there that's quite insulting to women. Some of it you could describe as mysoginistic. But there's some good insights too. I think one of the most important ones is similar to what Ub3rMario said: Don't put the woman on a pedestal. There are other reasons mentioned in the book as to why you shouldn't do this but one of the more kinder reasons is that if you see the woman as being above you, you'll get nervous, fidgety, tongue-tied and/or other things you do when you're anxious. You need to treat her as just another person so your best can be allowed to come out. Not fake or shallow, just your best.

BTW, I've been happily married for 12 years (yes, to the same woman

) and couldn't imagine life without my wife!

 

[hockeyb213]

I really liked what you said wantmyf1 it really put a few things in perspective to me when you worded it that way.