wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
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Corny Jokes - the more the merrier
- Thread starter BobG55
- Start date
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
Pharmaboy
Headphoneus Supremus
A woman walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She walks over and asks what he's drinking.
"Magic Beer", he replies.
Surprised, she says, "There's no such thing as Magic Beer!"
"Yes, there is," he replies. "I'll show you." He takes a sip of his beer then dives headfirst out the window--but instead of falling, he flies around the building 3 times, then flies back in through the window, landing nicely on his feet.
The woman can hardly believe it. She says: "That must be an optical illusion. Do it again." He takes another sip of beer, leaps out the window, flies around the building 3 times, and returns through the window.
Extremely dazzled, the woman says, "I have to try this Magic Beer!" So he tells the bartender, "Give my lovely friend a mug of Magic Beer!"
The woman gets her beer, gulps it down, then jumps out the window. She plummets 30 stories, screaming the whole way, and dies on impact.
The bartender looks the Magic Beer guy straight in the eye and says, "You're a real as*hole when you drink, Superman."
"Magic Beer", he replies.
Surprised, she says, "There's no such thing as Magic Beer!"
"Yes, there is," he replies. "I'll show you." He takes a sip of his beer then dives headfirst out the window--but instead of falling, he flies around the building 3 times, then flies back in through the window, landing nicely on his feet.
The woman can hardly believe it. She says: "That must be an optical illusion. Do it again." He takes another sip of beer, leaps out the window, flies around the building 3 times, and returns through the window.
Extremely dazzled, the woman says, "I have to try this Magic Beer!" So he tells the bartender, "Give my lovely friend a mug of Magic Beer!"
The woman gets her beer, gulps it down, then jumps out the window. She plummets 30 stories, screaming the whole way, and dies on impact.
The bartender looks the Magic Beer guy straight in the eye and says, "You're a real as*hole when you drink, Superman."
moedawg140
Grand Master Moe "G"….Don't crossface me, bro!
Ping Pong Champ: SF Meet (2016,2017), CanJams (London 2016, RMAF 2016, NYC 2017, SoCal 2017, RMAF 2017)
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To get to the other slide!
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
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Why did the duck cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off...
It was the chicken's day off...
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
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Top 50 funniest jokes ever told
Survey reveals Top 50 funniest jokes ever told
A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been voted the funniest gag ever told.
Researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. Source: Onepoll.com
Comedy genius Tommy Cooper had by far the most jokes in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay and Lee Evans.
Jokes ranged from the legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu' - to ones about wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.
The study was carried out after Tim Vine's joke "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." was voted the best of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
A spokesman for OnePoll, which carried out the research, said: "The majority of these jokes are clean and genuinely funny - but a lot are pretty subjective and what one person finds hilarious, someone else may not.
"It's nice to see jokes from the greats like Tommy Cooper and Les Dawson are still up there and the ugly baby tale is a worthy winner.
"Many of the jokes in the list are fairly timeless and will still be making people chuckle in thirty years or more."TOP 50 JOKES OF ALL TIME
1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''
The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
2. ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
3. ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''
4. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair,
so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
5. A classic Tommy Cooper gag ''I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?''
He said, ''How flexible are you?''
I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays'', was fifth.
6. Police arrested two kids yesterday,
One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
7. Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
8. Another one was:
Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'.
He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?'I asked.
'It's not unusual' he replied.
9. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
10. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.''
11. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
12. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,
I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
13. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
14. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'.
Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
15. There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
16. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
17. When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
18. ''My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''
19. I rang up British Telecom, I said, ''I want to report a nuisance caller'',
He said ''Not you again''.
20. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
21. A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't start anything''
22. Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.
23. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
24. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
25. The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
26. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
27. Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
28. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.
''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
29. I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, ''Are you two an item?''
30. I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar.
31. So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''.
I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck''.
32. Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here''
33. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
34. There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
35. I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'',
he said, "Those are pickled onions''.
36. I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
37. I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said ''may contain nuts.'' Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for! You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!''
38. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster
39. My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, ''Who's that calling at this time?'
''I don't know! If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!''
40. I said to this train driver ''I want to go to Paris".
He said ''Eurostar?''
I said, ''I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin''.
41. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
42. I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.
43. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
44. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
45. I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
46. I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.
48. Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
49. A seal walks into a club...
50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.
So I went - and I got it.
Survey reveals Top 50 funniest jokes ever told
A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been voted the funniest gag ever told.
Researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. Source: Onepoll.com
Comedy genius Tommy Cooper had by far the most jokes in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay and Lee Evans.
Jokes ranged from the legendary one-liner about a zoo with just one dog being a 'shitzu' - to ones about wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners.
The study was carried out after Tim Vine's joke "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." was voted the best of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
A spokesman for OnePoll, which carried out the research, said: "The majority of these jokes are clean and genuinely funny - but a lot are pretty subjective and what one person finds hilarious, someone else may not.
"It's nice to see jokes from the greats like Tommy Cooper and Les Dawson are still up there and the ugly baby tale is a worthy winner.
"Many of the jokes in the list are fairly timeless and will still be making people chuckle in thirty years or more."TOP 50 JOKES OF ALL TIME
1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''
The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
2. ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
3. ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''
4. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair,
so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.
She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
5. A classic Tommy Cooper gag ''I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?''
He said, ''How flexible are you?''
I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays'', was fifth.
6. Police arrested two kids yesterday,
One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
7. Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
8. Another one was:
Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'.
He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?'I asked.
'It's not unusual' he replied.
9. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
10. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.''
11. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
12. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,
I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
13. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
14. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'.
Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
15. There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
16. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
17. When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
18. ''My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''
19. I rang up British Telecom, I said, ''I want to report a nuisance caller'',
He said ''Not you again''.
20. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
21. A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't start anything''
22. Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.
23. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
24. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''
25. The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
26. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
27. Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
28. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.
''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
29. I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, ''Are you two an item?''
30. I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar.
31. So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''.
I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck''.
32. Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here''
33. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
34. There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
35. I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'',
he said, "Those are pickled onions''.
36. I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
37. I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said ''may contain nuts.'' Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for! You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!''
38. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster
39. My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, ''Who's that calling at this time?'
''I don't know! If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!''
40. I said to this train driver ''I want to go to Paris".
He said ''Eurostar?''
I said, ''I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin''.
41. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
42. I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.
43. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
44. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
45. I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
46. I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.
48. Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
49. A seal walks into a club...
50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.
So I went - and I got it.
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
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SWhort jokes:-
“A fish swims into a wall…Damn!”
“A man walks into a bar…ouch!”
“Venison’s dear isn’t it?”
‘For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.’
Pretentious? Moi?
Dwarf shortage
vacuuming sucks
Blueberries aren’t
who’s amnesia?
What do you call a fish without any eyes? Fsh!
Camping’s intense!
Stationery shop moves
Two women were sitting quietly
Velcro, what a ripoff!
Job interview:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't care what you think.
What word can you add two letters to and it make shorter....?. Short.
Broken pencils are pointless.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.
Two peanuts were walking down the street.
One of them was a salted.
“A fish swims into a wall…Damn!”
“A man walks into a bar…ouch!”
“Venison’s dear isn’t it?”
‘For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.’
Pretentious? Moi?
Dwarf shortage
vacuuming sucks
Blueberries aren’t
who’s amnesia?
What do you call a fish without any eyes? Fsh!
Camping’s intense!
Stationery shop moves
Two women were sitting quietly
Velcro, what a ripoff!
Job interview:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't care what you think.
What word can you add two letters to and it make shorter....?. Short.
Broken pencils are pointless.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.
Two peanuts were walking down the street.
One of them was a salted.
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
- 20,312
- Likes
- 3,656
Yo momma so ugly, her pictures hang themselves
yo momma so fat when she was born the whole hospital had stretch marks
Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck
Yo momma so fat when she goes to the beach the tide comes in
Yo momma so fat she has to put a bookmark in her neck to find her pearls at night.
Yo momma so stupid she shouts "yo momma jokes" at you.
Yo momma so fat she stepped on a scale and it said 'to be continued...'
Yo mama so stupid, she locked herself in a motorcycle
Yo momma so fat she can't jump to a conclusion
Yo momma so fat her rollerblades went flat
Yo momma so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia!!
Yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family.
Your mum's so ugly, the medusa looked her in the eyes and it died.
Yo mamma's so useless, she threw a rock at the ground and missed.
Q: What's gray and not there?
A: No elephants
A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like.
Anything but a Canadian Club.
Why don't hedgehogs just share the hedge?
Where you find four Irishmen you're bound to find a fifth!
I can give you anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
Q: Why shouldn't you hire a short chef?
A: The steaks are too high.
Termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Psychic dwarf escapes. Small medium at large.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Sausage jokes are the Wurst
NaCl; that's assault!
I dont make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
yo momma so fat when she was born the whole hospital had stretch marks
Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck
Yo momma so fat when she goes to the beach the tide comes in
Yo momma so fat she has to put a bookmark in her neck to find her pearls at night.
Yo momma so stupid she shouts "yo momma jokes" at you.
Yo momma so fat she stepped on a scale and it said 'to be continued...'
Yo mama so stupid, she locked herself in a motorcycle
Yo momma so fat she can't jump to a conclusion
Yo momma so fat her rollerblades went flat
Yo momma so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia!!
Yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family.
Your mum's so ugly, the medusa looked her in the eyes and it died.
Yo mamma's so useless, she threw a rock at the ground and missed.
Q: What's gray and not there?
A: No elephants
A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like.
Anything but a Canadian Club.
Why don't hedgehogs just share the hedge?
Where you find four Irishmen you're bound to find a fifth!
I can give you anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
Q: Why shouldn't you hire a short chef?
A: The steaks are too high.
Termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Psychic dwarf escapes. Small medium at large.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Sausage jokes are the Wurst
NaCl; that's assault!
I dont make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
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nick n
Headphoneus Supremus
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2011
- Posts
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Might have been posted, unsure.
Best Ever Senior Citizen Joke
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says,
"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver-haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh...........
Best Ever Senior Citizen Joke
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says,
"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver-haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh...........
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
Last edited:
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
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Breaking News...
Pharmaboy
Headphoneus Supremus
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $75.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out with these visits?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $125. The Hilton charges $150. We do it here for $75...and I get $57 back from Medicare."
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $75.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out with these visits?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $125. The Hilton charges $150. We do it here for $75...and I get $57 back from Medicare."
Hysterical!
Pharmaboy
Headphoneus Supremus
I'm fond of "old people jokes" that don't make fun of their health issues. The next one below is another solid entry in the genre...
Pharmaboy
Headphoneus Supremus
A 92 year old man visits his physician for a physical prior to his wedding.
Intrigued, his doctor asks, "So who is the lucky lady?"
The man replies, "She's a 24 year old model. Very pretty girl. We're very happy."
Taken aback by this huge age difference, the doctor tiptoes around the obvious, saying, "I'm happy for you. But sometimes with a large age gap, there can be cardiac issues associated with sex--possibly dangerous issues."
The man replies, "Look, doc--if she dies, she dies."
Intrigued, his doctor asks, "So who is the lucky lady?"
The man replies, "She's a 24 year old model. Very pretty girl. We're very happy."
Taken aback by this huge age difference, the doctor tiptoes around the obvious, saying, "I'm happy for you. But sometimes with a large age gap, there can be cardiac issues associated with sex--possibly dangerous issues."
The man replies, "Look, doc--if she dies, she dies."
nick n
Headphoneus Supremus
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well on that same subject thereabouts...
Hi, Seniors ( & other non-Facebook users )
For those of my generation who do not use and cannot comprehend why Facebook exists:
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while using the same principles.
Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passerby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later, and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.
And it works just like Facebook. I already have five people following me:
Two police officers, a private investigator, a priest and a psychiatrist.
Hi, Seniors ( & other non-Facebook users )
For those of my generation who do not use and cannot comprehend why Facebook exists:
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while using the same principles.
Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passerby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later, and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.
And it works just like Facebook. I already have five people following me:
Two police officers, a private investigator, a priest and a psychiatrist.
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