The first few paragraphs of your review cracked me right up. Thanks for the lighthearted humor.
I agree with your conclusion that the BQ3 has a "smooth, liquid yet detailed sound". Thus far, to my ears the source-sensitive BQ3 has been an absolute revelation on powerFUL sources. I will say that its 2+3 configuration sounds somewhat average on power-efficient sources though I find this to be typical of multi-driver hybrids.
The micro-detail in the first 30 seconds of this track were presented well but my ZS6 presented a little more air and presence.....especially at the 3:45 mark. I prefer the ZS6's lighter approach to the mid-bass presentation. The thinner approach gives the droning bass in the background (@ 1:56 mark) a sort of haunting ethereal presence instead of the BQ3's more direct and smooth presentation. It's all subjective but the differences are definitely worth noting.
Nevertheless, the well-built BQ3, as well as several other BQEYZ models, sit "firmly" near the top on my list of sub-$100 in-ear monitors.