[iriverdude]

^Mods can match IP

 

[Nocturnal310]

i am feeling..it ll be a shocking revelation if done.

 

[Al4x]

op

i do know how you feel, i dont have that much of a social life, i spend most of my time in the gym, [trying desparatly to improve what i have, it is helping, but i have to try sooo hard comparitively] or at home, some days i dread going to work, i like doing things where i on my own and using 100% of concentration, hence my love of drivng/sport

i find it all too often that people who look ok/good whatever to say, 'oh i wouldnt change anything' or 'life is special' 'you should be happy with what you got' yeah, try being me

i consider it myself, its held me back from doing alot of things, i dont find clubbing etc fun, cause, well i dont look good, i like this forum cause people judge you on you not youre appearance..

people say, 'its whats inside that counts' i say its rubbish, how many times that complete aholes get an amazing partner,.. in the western world, looks matter alot, unfortunatly, i dont care what people say

so yeah if i had more money/better job i would get it, definitly

just my view, do alot of research, cause it is a massive thing. i do know somewhat of how you feel tho

 

[Wodgy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by a1b2c3 /img/forum/go_quote.gif ...if i was to be normal and have a life, have friends and have a relationship, i obviously couldnt' spend nearly 90% of my disposable money on gear or related which is what currently make my life bearable and indeed pleasurable at times because otherwise i would just come back to my room and it'll be like a prison cell alone. ... but at the same time, i know i won't even start to have confidence/self esteem blah blah without physically changing something because i regard "inner beauty/glow" etc as utter rubbish.

This is a really sad post, and my heart goes out to you. You have to realize that plastic surgery is not going to cure your depression. I would strongly encourage you to go see your university's student counselling center, which is an incredible deal (often free or a minimal charge like $20/session). Asians don't often take advantage of counselling services, but you should. It would help you.

A lot of depressed people think like you do... if only you had some physical change, you'd be able to come out of your shell. But there are deeper issues involved obviously. It sounds like you don't have a network of friends or personal connections, and that's not because you have bad teeth or pigmented scars. It also sounds like you have deep-seated self-esteem issues.

(Also, trust me, relationships with the opposite sex will come if you get involved in some social activities and keep working hard at school, regardless of how you think you look. But it may take time.)

Maybe it's worth getting your teeth worked on, but it's clear from your post that there are much deeper issues at work. Take care of yourself and try to get some help.

 

[craiglester]

I've had invisalign done, but then my teeth were all crooked to the point of causing some discomfort.. I left my wisdom teeth in too long and they'd caused crowding. I wouldn't consider dental work like that unusual. Certainly in the US it's not uncommon.

Having said that, I had mine done because they were causing discomfort, not for aesthetic reasons. No one ever commented on my teeth before. No one has since. But they don't hurt anymore. If you're getting dental work done for cheap, invisalign is not a great choice, straight bonded on braces/retainers are MUCH cheaper, and can be quicker too.

As for spots, meh.. *I* wouldn't bother. Heck, I get the occasional spot now, its no biggie. Only thing i'd change about me is i'd like to get lasik done (i hate carrying prescription sunglasses and ordinary glasses around) , but i'm 40 now.. and in time i'll need bifocals, so that's not likely to be practical.

 

[Uncle Erik]

First, I know you're behind an anonymous account, but I think it's great that you're willing to somewhat open up here. It says something about this community.

As for getting worked on I almost hate to say this, but it can help you. I've been going through something similar. I'd been overweight for some time and decided to do something about it last June. I moved into the "normal" range on the MetLife tables by the end of 2008 and have kept going. I'm about 80 lbs. less than I was and will take off another 10-20lbs. before it's over. I made permanent lifestyle changes and in almost nine months, have come to not miss the old ways and diet. This is better and I'm going to stay this way. Besides, I donated every last bit of my old clothes.

People really do treat you differently. I've seen it. I don't know how it would turn out for you, but a change in appearance changes how you're treated. You will need to work on being more social, but if you can get rid of your excuses for not being social that becomes easier.

And gear is gear. If you can't find the exact same thin a second time, it doesn't really matter. There's a lot of really good stuff and you'd be happy with something else that turns up. You can always buy more.

 

[milkweg]

It's not called gear, it's called kit.

 

[apatN]

Still, I wonder if the OP has replied to his own thread already under his other username.

 

[521ztz]

no doubt i choose my life!!!

 

[BMWWW]

Quote:

Originally Posted by krmathis /img/forum/go_quote.gif Who are you? Obviously don't have balls to stand behind this with your regular user name...

He's entitled to privacy, as much as you are entitled to post on every thread.

 

[a1b2c3]

Quote:

Originally Posted by apatN /img/forum/go_quote.gif Still, I wonder if the OP has replied to his own thread already under his other username.

no I have not lol

and thanks for all the candid comments. I've started looking for orthordontists nearby etc. Money wise, I'm going try to work a bit more and/or borrow money in the short term to fund treatment with the resale value of my stuff as backing for the sums borrowed. My parents will also help a bit.

 

[paara]

I think you are better off spending the money psychologist getting back your self confidence. Is apperance that important? Do you judge other people by the way they look? Are you not able to make friends, or is this more a girlfriend issue? The biggest issue in the most cases is not apperance, but self confidence.

Insecurity is a big problem among young people. Could this be your problem?

It makes me sad to read this thread. If you are not disfigured there is no reason for surgery.

Apperantly it is a crule superficial world we live in.

 

[digger945]

IMO, and for me, it makes a world of difference to have good friends close around you to talk to and do things with. I'm not exactly eat up with close friends now, but the few I do have, all of them at work and here at HF, make a huge difference to me, and just talking with them, like your talking to us now, really helps. I am very thankful for my friends, and the good folks here at HF also.

I'm not some kind of doctor or guru, nor do I give out pearls of wisdom on a weekly column, but I really agree with paara above. If you don't judge others by thier appearance then maybe you can consider trying to understand that most other people may not/do not judge you by your appearance either.

 

[dazzer1975]

I have to reitterate what some of the others have said, my heart goes out to you and this is a very sad post.

My post will no doubt be cliche ridden, but for things to persist long enough to be cliches, there has to be truth in them.

Changing your appearance will no dout affect the way you see and value yourself, it may even change the way other people view and value you, but do you want to know people like that?

Try finding some good people, they are out there. I have had my issues for most of my adult life, some similiar to yours, however things are changing, I got engaged last month, and what changed? I havent changed anything about me (although I want to) but the people around me have changed.

Place more value on yourself, and less on others and their opinion. There are lots of people who will value you for you without any preconceptions, then anything you do change, is all for yourself, not for others.

Be strong man, and keep your chin up.

All the best whatever you do.

If ya lived near me id invite ya round for a beer and a mini meet, don't try to isolate yourself from others. I aint big on people generally speaking, but its true that we are pack animals and need people around us... just choose them selectively and wisely

 

[compuryan]

To the original poster, my heart goes out to you as well. I say go get the work done, you will feel a lot better about yourself. You only live once and you don't want something fixable to hold you back from living life to it's fullest, even if its just something on the outside.