[bootdsc]

.

 

[Armaegis]

 
Going back a few years for that one, aren't you?

 
We ain't all spring chickens here ya know...

 
 
 
 

 

[Hutnicks]

   
We ain't all spring chickens here ya know...

 
 
 
 

Winter killed persimmon is about how I feel right now. I know you folks got a pasting, but geez we had snow flurries last weekend down here. Time to find a "curvy" girl if this is the new trend

 

[RUMAY408]

 
Winter killed persimmon is about how I feel right now. I know you folks got a pasting, but geez we had snow flurries last weekend down here. Time to find a "curvy" girl if this is the new trend

Canada is cold, girls are already running around in shorts down here, all ya have to do is move South.

 

[Hutnicks]

  Canada is cold, girls are already running around in shorts down here, all ya have to do is move South.

I fear we're all now acclimatized, Iceland is our only option.

 

[Armaegis]

Ugh, so my nightmare with my ex just doesn't end.
 
So as some of you may (or probably don't) know, I run a weekly dance event. Unfortunately, our venue is closing down and yesterday was our final dance at the place we've been dancing at for almost 10 years, with me at the helm for most of that. If any day could be considered "my" day, that was it. Someone noticed on facebook that my ex was planning on making an appearance. Knowing that this would ruin the night for me, my friend sent her a private message asking her not to go.
 
Apparently, this has made her furious because no one has the right to tell her what to do, and that I don't even appreciate that she has barely come out dancing in the past 2 years (the amount of conceit here is staggering to me). But the part that worries me is that she says she is now going to come out to whatever events she wants to.
 
And if she does, I might just up and quit. Which will be bad for everyone else because I'm the one who runs the weekly events. I'll shut it down and walk away. Without me, I don't know if anyone else would run things. I know it's running away, but I just can't deal with her.

 

[Currawong]

Just imagine how screwed up inside she must be to behave this way. It will do more for you if you can look past your feelings, pity her and forgive her, not that it would be easy.

 

[BillsonChang007]

Let it go~
let it go~

Don't let her control your hobby / job / day

 

[nick n]

ohhh nooo. I would make or post a notice publicly that if she attends then the event will be shut down, and see how folks react to that one, they might kick her out and you won't have to do a thing.
 
Ridiculous heck even as I type this is making me mad. I think if people know the score they won't put up with her crap either, and you won't be alone in this .  Make everyone stop and tell her until she leaves nothing will happen. Essentially freeze the event, or sell tickets or something which she will not get. " sorry you don't have a ticket you have to leave"....
 
hey it might work. I thought my ex was terrible ( yes she sure was )
 
If she is one of the pyschological vampire types, seems she might be, you need to get ruthless. Tell EVERYONE so the focus gets put on her and folks know she is the reason it might be shut down. .

 

[abhinit90]

Or maybe if you're open about it, try stopping everything at that moment and start speaking in front of everyone present (including her), tell everyone how you've been humiliated (and gloss over the things that you don't want to) but drop indirect hints about it.
 
 
 
 
Now that I read again what I've typed, it's a horrible piece of advice....discard

 

[Hutnicks]

  Ugh, so my nightmare with my ex just doesn't end.
 
So as some of you may (or probably don't) know, I run a weekly dance event. Unfortunately, our venue is closing down and yesterday was our final dance at the place we've been dancing at for almost 10 years, with me at the helm for most of that. If any day could be considered "my" day, that was it. Someone noticed on facebook that my ex was planning on making an appearance. Knowing that this would ruin the night for me, my friend sent her a private message asking her not to go.
 
Apparently, this has made her furious because no one has the right to tell her what to do, and that I don't even appreciate that she has barely come out dancing in the past 2 years (the amount of conceit here is staggering to me). But the part that worries me is that she says she is now going to come out to whatever events she wants to.
 
And if she does, I might just up and quit. Which will be bad for everyone else because I'm the one who runs the weekly events. I'll shut it down and walk away. Without me, I don't know if anyone else would run things. I know it's running away, but I just can't deal with her.

Man there's a lot of bad advice going round about this one.
Think I'll ad mine
 
Simply put, you need to find a way of dealing with her yourself. Shutting things down is a punitive action punishing the wrong people.
 
Friends close, Enemies closer. Kill her with kindness, and she'll have no idea whats going on. It will drive her nuts and she will probably leave of her own accord/

 

[Armaegis]

I think the most chilling thing is that from her point of view I don't think she even realizes what she did was wrong.
 
I have too much hate built up. Anger is healthy, it protects you from future harm and pushes you forward, but this hate is seething and rots me from the inside. I know I need to let go of the hate and move on, and most of the time I'm ok, but then seeing her just triggers the rage and my brain starts to shut down under that cry for vengeance. It's not healthy, but I'm stuck. There was so much psychological damage done before and during the breakup/cheating that I haven't fully pulled myself together from that yet even after these past couple years, and seeing her triggers regression. It's like trying to heal a scab that gets ripped open every time I see her. Maybe it's all just scar tissue now.
 
I actually am considering freezing the event if she starts appearing regularly. "My apologies, the weekly dance is now cancelled. Certain personas have made the environment poisonous for me and I can no longer operate under those conditions."

 

[Hutnicks]

  I think the most chilling thing is that from her point of view I don't think she even realizes what she did was wrong.
 
I have too much hate built up. Anger is healthy, it protects you from future harm and pushes you forward, but this hate is seething and rots me from the inside. I know I need to let go of the hate and move on, and most of the time I'm ok, but then seeing her just triggers the rage and my brain starts to shut down under that cry for vengeance. It's not healthy, but I'm stuck. There was so much psychological damage done before and during the breakup/cheating that I haven't fully pulled myself together from that yet even after these past couple years, and seeing her triggers regression. It's like trying to heal a scab that gets ripped open every time I see her. Maybe it's all just scar tissue now.
 
I actually am considering freezing the event if she starts appearing regularly. "My apologies, the weekly dance is now cancelled. Certain personas have made the environment poisonous for me and I can no longer operate under those conditions."

That in turn will be even more damaging. You may want to look into getting someone else involved who can take over the organization if she decides to show.

 

[fnkcow]

I know this'll suck, maybe since last meeting you she has thought of reconciliation? Why would she start appearing in your circles again after all these years of staying away

 

[gikigill]

Don't give up, stay strong and keep the dance going. You are the bigger person here, you have nothing to hide or fear. I realize it can be hard keeping your nerve but consider it as a part of character building.