[crazyfrenchman27]

I think you will find the difference between UCSD and UCB insignificant, as far as academic workload and overall quality of education is concerned. Both will host enormous lectures with a professor that, more often than not, cares very little about teaching. Poor saps (i.e. graduate students) like me will be the ones fielding complaints from you about your $#&^ grades and dealing with all the $#$% the professors don't want to deal with (i.e. the real teaching).

I also doubt you will care whether your lecturer is "famous" or not after you realize that you will have little contact with him and that his acclaim has very little to do with his quality of instruction (I could provide an exhaustive list of examples from my experiences at UCSD grad school, but I doubt you are interested in that kind of thing).

Prestige is meaningless when it comes to this level; what is ultimately important is that you will be happy there and, hopefully, the corresponding academic success you will derive from that happiness. A 3.7 GPA from UCSD is going to be treated the same way as a 3.7 GPA UCB or a 3.7 GPA from Harvard when grad schools/med schools/law schools start examining you. The trick is figuring out which place provides the appropriate atmosphere to achieve that academic success.

Personally, I detest northern california with a vengeance and can't understand why anyone would want to live there. We not only have more attractive women, but also better weather and better college basketball teams. I think that you will find that these are probably the three most important things in college, if not the universe.

Over the years, I have begun to recognize that institutionalized learning is something of a farce. Nearly all of the important things in life you'll learn outside of class and they'll be things you taught yourself. You don't go to school to learn about any particular subject; that would be rather quaint because, in five years, most of the things you learn in school will become outdated.

No, the real things you are supposed to learn in school are the following:

1) Learn how to learn. You will have to learn efficiently for the rest of your life if you wish to achieve success.

2) Learn how to deal with stress. You will have to be able to successfully manage stress for the rest of your life if you want to achieve success.

3) Learn how to make social connections in order to obtain your objectives. This is really important, yet very few people on head-fi are able to do it. That's why they spend so much time on head-fi talking about SAT scores and other meaningless psychometric evaluations instead of doing what they should be doing: hitting on girls.

If you already know how to do these things, then there's really no reason why you ought to attend college except for that meaningless piece of paper. Most people don't know these things even after graduating from college/s, which is why the world wallows in callousness and incompetence.

So yeah, you should go where you think you will be happy and where you have to waste the least amount of money for quality girls, DI basketball, and weather.

-Matt

 

[kramer5150]

It sounds like YOU already know what YOU want for YOUR future.

You just gotta stand up for yourself and bash em' over the head. They're Asian parents, they have been conditioned and trained through generations of subborn-nes NOT to listen to any of their children. Its in-bread into the culture, and its up to the young generation to stand up for what you want.

Stand up for yourself, this is your opportunity to show them they have raised you well, and you can make logical decisions on your own. In the end they will treat you better, and start seeing you as an adult, and not their little kid.

I have niece who graduated highschool in Palo Alto with a 4.3 GPA in honors / college prep courses, ~1520 SAT and laundry list of academic achievements. She received her BS from Berkely Bio-engineering, and is on their PHD program. She works her butt off.... I have never seen someone study ALL the TIME the way she does. So, I can see how Berkely may not be for everyone. I went to SJSU and partied my ass off

, got average grades... and currently make a decent living.

This is nothing...wait till' you get engaged/married and they try and enforce their views of marriage and wedding rituals on you

 

[ekinwang]

you=going to college
good colllege experience=very important
you happy=do will in college

you=make the decision that makes YOU happy

it all adds up

 

[humanflyz]

Making a decision based on perceived "prestige" of a school is one of the worst decisions you can make. When I was choosing, I was choosing between Stanford and Berkeley. My family thought that I should go to Stanford because it is a private school and has more "prestige", but I did not like the campus when I visited. So I decided to to go Berkeley, even though Stanford gave me more money because of their greater endowment, but I believe that compatibility is more important than money.

 

[Wmcmanus]

You said that your parents are penny pinchers. Are they paying for all or part of the cost of your college education? If the answer is yes (even if they only pay one penny during the next 4 years) then their opinion should matter to you. If you are not paying for 100% of the cost of your education then it's not a decision that you can (or should) make without their input.

If you are a fully emancipated adult (i.e., living on your own and supporting yourself as opposed to living under their roof and eating the food off of their table), then it should be entirely your decision. Even if this were the case, then out of respect for your parents, you should at least listen to their point of view. But the bottom line is that if you're paying for 100% of your education, then it's your decision to make.

It's clear that you don't like their opinion, and you need to find better ways to communicate with them about it (i.e., yelling at your mother is not a good way). My guess is that they're going to pay for at least part of your education, so in addition to respecting them in the normal ways (which I'm sure you do), you need to have extra respect for this fact.

I was 2nd of 6 kids and my parents could only afford to spend $3,000 per year for 2 years. While this was more money than it is today, it still wasn't much. Because I didn't have any money of my own, everything else was paid for by student loans. Since it was coming out of my pocket, I finished in 3 years so I could get a full ride to grad school. Had they been paying for everything, I'm sure that I wouldn't have had half of the motivation that I did. A couple of heads of lettuce and 6 boxes of mac and cheese would get me through the week.

To repay them, I've since bought them the only new car they've ever had in their lives (at a cost of $30k), and that was 8 years before I ever bought a new car for myself. You should be glad that they love you enough to want you to stay close to home. I'm sure you are, but it doesn't come across that way.

I think the most amazing thing about my college experience (which actually ended up lasting 12 years and resulted in 6 degrees, 4 of which are at the graduate level) was getting home and sharing with them what I had been learning. It didn't matter where I was or what I was studying, they were always interested. I'll never be able to repay them for that.

I hope this post hassn't come across as preachy (and it certainly is not meant to be personal because I do in fact identify with you since I wasn't able to afford to go the college that I wanted to as an undergrad because I couldn't afford it). In any case, it is just my point of view and not meant as an attack in any way. My parents are both in their mid 60s now and are both being treated as cancer patients. In my mom's case, they caught it early and she'll be fine. In my dad's case, there is still hope, but it will be a tough battle.

Everything that I've achieved in my life (and I somehow managed to retire before my dad did) can be traced directly back to those same days that you are now going through. I'd argue with them for hours about wanting to go to the University of Illlinois rather than Illinois State University, like it was life and death.

But ISU had (and still has) an awesome business school for an "also ran" type of university and their accounting program is among the best in the nation in terms of CPA pass rates. Moreover, the minute I had finished my undergrad, I was accepted into the master's program and given a graduate assistantship. That set off a lifetime love of teaching and unleashed new passions in me that I didn't even realize I had. I doubt that I would have fared so well at the U of I, although you never know.

The point is that what matters most is that you make the best out of whatever opportunity that you have in front of you at the moment. It may be worth the fight to try to go the university of your dreams, but if you end up at Berkeley, my goodness, that's one heck of an amazing university and will represent some amazing opportunities that 99.9% of all people walking this planet will never get. Plus you'll get to see your parents more often and some day you'll be glad you did.

 

[AC1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azure /img/forum/go_quote.gif Based on what I've read and heard, I don't think I'm serious enough to make it at Berkeley (at least not with good grades). I'm not even really that smart/adept at hardcore math/science (I'm like only 4th or 5th in my AP Calculus and Physics classes, and I got mediocre 740s on my SAT II Bio and Math exams), and my work ethic is sub-par (I'm a procrastinator).

While I have no doubt that you have enough intelligence to get through EECS, it is something that you will have to have a lot of dedication to, and at that you might only survive there. I use to be EE at UCSD and also had CS friends, and I can't tell you how many of the people pretty much lived in the labs. It has to be something that you are seriously interesed in for the future.
Even though I could have survived EE, just doing the labs etc it was not something I could see myself doing for the rest of my life.

 

[Uncle Erik]

I went through a bit of the same when going off to grad school. Undergrad was pretty close to home and I saw them often. But for grad school, I didn't even apply to any schools in the state.

They were not happy, to say the least.

However, it did work out. They loved coming up to Oregon to visit and they came around. Funny thing is, I ended up back in Los Angeles. Well, for now. I might make some changes next year; we'll see.

But it's not like you're doing anything bad. You're working hard in school and going off to college. It's what any parent would want for their child. If you can get good financial assistance at UCSD, by all means, go there. Graduating without debt is a wonderful thing. And again, choosing college and financial security has "model child" written all over it to me. It wouldn't be that far away, either. You can easily make all the holidays and they can easily visit. They might even take a liking to San Diego.

So do what's right for you, but instead of arguing, turn it around into how much you love them. That might sound cheesy and sappy, but it's what they're looking for. Promise to call every day then do it. It'll work out.

 

[jmmtn4aj]

Haha, my parents were all too eager to send me off to Australia to study, so long as the system worked for me and I got a good degree at the end of it. I say were because they don't quite agree with my spending habits at the moment. Anyway, thank god my parents aren't like the traditionalist Chinese parents you find in western countries I guess

 

[ken36]

Work very hard, you'll find a way. Things always work out.

 

[Musiq]

That's what college is about.

But you have to be happy with your choice...transferring isn't that easy.

I had a free ride at Rutgers and NYU, but wanted to get as far away from home as possible, so I chose Hobart, 350 miles away with minimal scholarship. It was the farthest, but probably the worst choice for me. But I did get into U of Pennsylvania Med School with a free ride.

One of the neat things about going away to school is that you get to experience a whole new environment, and get into the local flavor. Then you go to grad school and discover a whole new place. I practiced for 30 years in San Diego, and now really miss it. Although, I always thought San Francisco would have been a better move...but hey.

Although you can't go wrong academically with any of your choices, where would you like to live for 4 years? Berkeley might be more liberal, too close to home for comfort. UCSD is SoCal, beautiful people, tan, lots of blondes, very materialistic, weather so good that I can't imagine wanting to study.

ANd if you have a free ride, it beats the stress of loans and working to make $ every vacation.

APPLY TO AS MANY SCHOOLS AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, you'll hopefully be in the position to CHOSE the school.

 

[granodemostasa]

Hi
I'm going to rant:
There is nothing more tiring on the berkeley campus than seeing tour groups full of parents pushing their children along. Seroiusly, how is it that parents care more about this school than their kids? I say, just do what you want and forget what your parents say.

Also
getting away from a very small school and my sad neighborhood was always my first priority. I wanted the biggest/best school i could find. The whole UCSD thing about trying to make small "colleges" out of their university just ruined it for me. It was either UCLA or Cal. UCLA was giving me the world, UCB only gave me enough so that i would not have to take out loans (scholarship/workstudy combo). Ironically, i hated Cal after visiting it... and only chose it because I didn't like the people at my H.S. going to UCLA... and no one was going to Cal.

I know a number of engineers and most are doing well, i picked up some habits from living with one for two years. While they can have fun, relax and keep up, the important thing is to stay intense throughout... be fast and deliberate with everything... from getting your work done to cleaning your kitchen.

 

[daba]

Hi there,

Upon completing my engineering degree here at UC Berkeley I can say it has been no easy task. You're going to screw around like every freshman does, and the engineering classes are going to break you in. No high school can really prepare you for this kind of work.

That being said, engineering has some of the best and brightest minds (in EECS in particular, being a competitive and impacted major; it is not unusual to see 14 year olds completing their degrees around here) and you will be competing with them in terms of applying to graduate school or jobs. If you don't feel like you can cut it, work your ass off 24/7 (this is not an exaggeration the computer science halls here have beds and baths, when I was taking CS here I had easily spent several all-nighters programming in Soda Hall and still do sometimes in Etcheverry), then you're best off somewhere else or just ending up as middle of the road.

Good luck.

 

[Azure]

I just found out that I got into Berkeley (I was hoping I wouldn't get in so that I wouldn't have to argue anymore with my parents)

Official UCLA decisions were also posted today. UCLA is going to cost $8568 a year (I can pull out a $5000 loan and/or get $2500 for a workstudy program).

 

[swt61]

This brings back memories. My Mother didn't want me to go to college at all. She thought it was a waste of time and money, and that I should just find the best job I could and be happy with that. My Father was ambivalent. Nobody in my family had ever attended college before me. And I'm not talking my immediate family. Now in their defense I was not the best student throughout high school, and certainly had no scholarships to ease the financial burden. What I did have was a very caring set of maternal Grandparents that completely supported me from my first hints of wanting to further my education. This caused further friction with my mother who thought I was taking advantage of their generousity, and would just screw away my time.
In the end I had to do what I thought was best for me. My Mother was furious with me when I told her my decision, and let her know that she had no say in it. My first semester I held a 4.0 GPA, no small feat for a natural slacker. I made the Dean's list honor roll, and recieved a few merit awards.
After that my Mother became my biggest supporter. Small checks and care packages came in the mail regularly. I moved 5000 miles away from home to attend college. My diploma and various awards have graced my Mother's living room wall for 23 years now.
We have a very close relationship, and while she loves my three siblings every bit as much as she loves me, I know she is supremely proud of what I accomplished.
Just do what you need to do for yourself and your parents will come around.

 

[chroot]

The best thing you can possibly do as a young adult is to think for yourself, even if your parents don't want you to. Make your own decisions based on your own goals and needs. If it pisses your parents off, don't worry -- they'll get over it in six months or less. You absolutely must make the choices that are right for you. As you get older, the world becomes a smaller and smaller place. It only takes a few hours to fly across the entire continent.

- Warren