[Wmcmanus]

I ran into a small but interesting group of headphone enthusiasts at the grocery store one day, and after some discussion with several of them I was pointed in this direction.

There was an old lady, and I mean old! She must have been 22. She was wearing some long discontinued pair of Stax and looking mighty fine in them I must say. I tried to start a conversation with her, but to no avail. She didn't hear a word I said and seemed to be pretty content with her rather odd looking portable system. I figured it must sound pretty good, or else she would have been all over me.

Next to her was this skinny looking dude wearing tattered clothes and smelling of gin. He seemed like he was high on crack and was saying something about once being an investment banker. He was hovered over a counter in the produce section just staring blankly, not being able to decide between apples and oranges as he was jamming out to Stairway to Heaven with his K1000s. All he said after the investment banker bit was, "Maybe grapes are the answer."

All of this seemed rather strange to me, at least at first glance but as I turned the corner, there by my beloved 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke, low and behold were these three amazingly hot Hawaiian Tropics bikini models comparing various AT woodies. Each of them had nice pairs. They actually had 4 or 5 pairs between them but still didn't seem nearly as content as the old lady wearing Stax and the supposed (ya right) former investment banker wearing the K1000s. What I've learned since is that they were too busy making comparisons instead of just picking one (each) and listening to the music! That's the key, but little did I know back then.

As I was walking past them, one of them asked me, "Where can we find a woody?" (Actually, the question may have been more specific. I think it was the JPN-something-or-other that they were looking for). I've gotta tell you, I was a bit taken aback by this 'woody' question, having (at the time) no idea what a woody was. To be honest, I mistakenly believed they were speaking of the term in the non-technical, colloquial context that has become popularized by the movie industry during the past couple of decades and I'm embarrassed to report that I might have blushed a bit at the thought that raced through my mind, even if only momentarily.

As it turns out, they were just trying to complete their AT woody collection, but (again) little did I know at the time. I stumbled a bit and then told them, "To be honest girls, I really have no idea. Those cans really do look nice though. Good luck to you..." About that time I was running out of gas and couldn't think of anything else to say, although I desperately wanted to prolong the conversation if at all possible. They seemed disappointed but were still a little more open to conversation than the old lady wearing Stax.

I figured that I got off to a good start with them by at least trying to talk headphones. They must have thought I was pretty cool when they heard me say "cans" with such confidence. Still more or less sharing the same aisle space with them but not wanting to be thought of as a gawker, I grabbed a couple of 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke and carried them away with one hand as I always do. Neat trick. I'll have to show you all sometime. It has worked before, but not with these girls. They weren't exactly easy prey, being extremely hot bikini models and all.

But again I was mistaken. It wasn't me or any other guy that they were interested in, at least not at that precise moment. They were, in fact, in the midst of a headphone moment and only a headphone guy would do!

Well, you might have guessed it. Around the corner comes the aimless, crazy eyed crack head (or so I assumed, but as it turns out he really was a former investment banker before giving it all up to live the Head-Fi life) with a bunch of grapes in one hand and a portion of the K1000 cord in his other hand.

Right behind him was the old lady wearing Stax and seeing him she burst out in excitement, asking him "Dude, did you get those recabled?!?! Sweet! I've been thinking about doing that with mine. Who did it for you, Drew? Or did you send them to ALO? I heard Ken does great work!"

He just kind of grinned and turned down the volume as he put his arm around her and pulled her toward him, waist first, as they embraced as though they were long time lovers. Her eyes were dancing all over the place and she was wiggling almost uncontrollably as she awaited his answer to her recable question.

I couldn't have been more than 10 paces away from them as they came around the corner and the 3 Hawaiian Tropics models (they were wearing bikinis, did I mention that before?) were closer to Mr. I Can Eat Grapes Even Before I Pay For Them Guy (don't you hate those types) and the Stax lady than I was. Why? Because it really was time for me to mouse on out of there, or so I thought and so my feet were busily shuffling until that moment. But I just stopped and stood there frozen in my tracks as I watched (great view from behind) the bikini models quickly and spiritedly bounce over toward him as he began to hold court.

After dishing out some good advice to the Stax lady (right as I was noticing that she wasn't so old afterall, and under all of those frumpy clothes... oh, never mind, but she fit right in with the Hawaiian Tropics girls except more in a Mary Ann kind of way than a Ginger kind of way which much better describes each of them). Anyway, as soon as he answered the Stax lady's question he said (and ever so nonchalantly, this dude was smooth, I'm telling you), "Why don't you check on Head-Fi? They come up in the used market every now and then" in reply to their woody query.

I couldn't take it any longer! I had to get out of there because this guy was nothing, and I mean nothing, compared to me! Heck, I'm an accountant and chicks usually dig that about me! So I headed straight home for my computer to find out what this "Head-Fi" place was all about, mumbling to myself the whole way home, "It could have been me!" over and over. I've been a regular at Head-Fi ever since. Amazing how many cool people you meet in this hobby.

Let's just say that things have changed a bit with the ladies after I got turned on and and tuned in to Head-Fi, and we'll leave it at that for the under 18 crowd.