I got my XM4 from Amazon warehouse deals which were advertised as coming without tips, although weirdly they did arrive with 2 L's and 1 S in the box, lol.
The large stock tips gave good ANC but my gosh they were painful. I also had to EQ a lot of brightness into them to make me happy....
I quickly ordered some no-name silicon tips which were "ok", they meant that I didn't have to use EQ anymore to brighten the sound, which was good, but I found I was still putting off wearing them and going back to my old Airpods (non-anc, gen 2) simply because they were more comfortable to wear for long periods
However, I finally gave in and ordered the Sonicfoams in medium... it was like magic as soon as I put them in, they just "disappeared"....
An hour later it still feels the same (i.e. invisible) and my fussy ears are entirely happy without any EQ-ing.
At the same time I also bought a "GIOPUEY Clear Case for Sony WF-1000XM4", which is a simple silicone case (for the case, lol). It fits nicely.
Many thanks
@Phil2020 for the headsup about the Sonicfoams!