[Roam]

I'm just going to be real blunt on this. A marriage with a pre-nup is a sham marriage. You are going over your marriage contract and saying "this doesn't count, this doesn't count, this count, and this doesn't count either". That's not a marriage, that's a limited partnership, special emphasis on "limited".

Frankly, if you don't trust someone with money & possessions, how in god's name are you going to trust him or her to raise your kids? And if you can't trust this person with raising your kids, then why on Earth are you marrying him or her?

 

[trains are bad]

Maybe I don't want a prenup at all. It's not about assets, or preparing for divorce. Mostly what I wanted is some accountability. My uncle, his wife cheated on him, initiated a divorce even though he was willing to forgive her, and then still got half his stuff, making her new boyfriend very happy. Hardly just.

Basically, I used to think marriage was a contract between men and women, to be faithful to each other forever, and thus if one of them broke the contract through adultery or insisting on divorce, they have broken the contract and thus waive rights to sue the other, innocent party for his/her stuff.

Marriage doesn't work in that nice, just manner in the real world, so I thought you could write a custom contract, to basically 'fix' marriage.

Both of us are Christians, and believe there's no excuse for divorce except adultery. I'm willing to put my legal money where my mouth is on that. What's the point of getting married in the first place if you can get out of it whenever you want?

 

[Illah]

I feel like some people are being too idealistic. Marriages can break down, people can change. An extreme example would be if I started smoking meth and two years from now I'm a crazed addict. That's not the same man my wife married, she can and should choose to move on.

Realistically, over long periods of time people change in more subtle ways. I would hope I'm different now than I was at 12 years old. And likewise, I sure hope I'm not exactly the same at 45.

My wife and I are pretty open so it wasn't an issue. If you're worried even discussing it will cause problems, then that's a sign right there! I think many people get married on idealistic notions of what it *should* be like - the lifelong partnership, soulmates, magic moments, fantastic wedding, etc. The ones that last are the ones that can discuss *anything*, and I mean *anything*.

--Illah

 

[coho66]

haha, nice score fatcat

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatcat28037 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Check this out on Amazon, 71 new and used starting at $1.41. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/...eywords=prenup

 

[MusicJunkie]

A marraige is a contract. You are signing away half of everything you own. If you have assets you don't want your wife to have half of if/when you get divorced then a pre nup is necessary. Everyone gets married thinking it will last forever but over half of all marriages end in divorce, so the odds are that you will be getting divorced someday. If you don't have very many assets at this point in your life then maybe a pre nup isn't necessary, but for your next marriage I would seriously consider it.

MJ

 

[Roam]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Illah /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think many people get married on idealistic notions of what it *should* be like - the lifelong partnership, soulmates, magic moments, fantastic wedding, etc. --Illah

It's actually a lot worse than that. A lot of people get married because they think they should be married, the marriage is in effect a status symbol. I've seen a lot of people hit their 30's and suddenly feel that they must get married, and the marriage is usually with the first person who doesn't cheese them off, and is nowhere close to an ideal match to begin with.

 

[chesebert]

Quote:

Originally Posted by grawk /img/forum/go_quote.gif Definitely don't worry about a prenup if you're not already wealthy. It can't cover anything you make from this point forward anyway...why even bring it up?

x2

 

[ricksome]

Just have her sign a paper stating that you can keep the headphone equipment. All other material items have no worth.

 

[Zorander]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicJunkie /img/forum/go_quote.gif A marraige is a contract. You are signing away half of everything you own. If you have assets you don't want your wife to have half of if/when you get divorced then a pre nup is necessary. Everyone gets married thinking it will last forever but over half of all marriages end in divorce, so the odds are that you will be getting divorced someday. If you don't have very many assets at this point in your life then maybe a pre nup isn't necessary, but for your next marriage I would seriously consider it. MJ

Wow. That's one bleak outlook!

 

[no1likesme]

If you think you will ever have a need for a prenup don't get married.

 

[mrarroyo]

Wealth is not all that matters, if you own property however small or if you have some money in the bank get a pre-nuptial. Make sure there are provisions for or not-for alimony.

People want to think love is fore ever and that a pre-nuptial will cheapen the marriage. I say those have not gone through a divorce.

 

[Roam]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrarroyo /img/forum/go_quote.gif People want to think love is fore ever and that a pre-nuptial will cheapen the marriage. I say those have not gone through a divorce.

31 of the best years of my life and counting, in sickness & in health, for rich or for poor, till death do us part.

I find it telling that the ones who advocate pre-nups are usually the ones who can't make a marriage work and end up divorcing, usually multiple times since they never learn from their mistakes.

 

[no1likesme]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roam /img/forum/go_quote.gif till death do us part.

This says it all. If you do not intend to stay married DO NOT GET MARRIED. This is one thing I believe in very strongly. Marriage is a PERMINANT commitment. If you have any doubt that it will last then you shouldn't get married.

 

[Kirosia]

Quote:

This says it all. If you do not intend to stay married DO NOT GET MARRIED

You don't understand. S**t happens. I've seen people get married, have kids, then completely hate each other in a matter of years. Did they ever question their love at the beginning? Hell no.

 

[vagarach]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicJunkie /img/forum/go_quote.gif but for your next marriage I would seriously consider it. MJ

Hey now, less negativity.

OP, I hope you get married and live happily ever after!