Nice guys finish last . . . don't they? / unspoken feelings
Aug 18, 2004 at 8:08 PM Post #61 of 77

raif

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If you want some fake b*tch to *****, pretend to be an @$$hole, cause it works like a charm. If you want someone meaningful and lasting, then you have to learn to be yourself, for the ladies.

What do I mean by that?
Easy.
If your a nice guy, be a nice guy. But remember, there is a difference between being nice, and getting walked all over, and noone likes a chump.

If you are funny, tell jokes, everybody loves to laugh. If you use self-depreciating humor, make sure that you make jokes about her too though, she may look hurt, but it shows that you aren't scared of her.(not in the confrontational sense) Obviously it should be made clear that you are joking though, I don't mean be a jerk.

If you are a jerk, you're money. Just be a little nicer to her, and be yourself to others, it makes girls feel like they are special. How many times has everyone heard the line, "But, he's nice to me."

This however is the key to girls. You have to make your intentions known. Most nice guys are afraid that if they let a girl know how you feel that she won't talk to you later. For any but the haughtiest girls, the exact opposite is true. Everybody likes to feel loved, girls are no exception. Just be clear what your intentions are, then just be yourself, if she is interested it will come.

Now if you want to learn how to play the game, ask someone else. Personally I think the game is a bunch of bs, and I have never had problems with attractive women. Game is for getting laid in a bar, or tricking someone "out of your league"(ie just not interested) to sleep with you.
 
Aug 18, 2004 at 9:22 PM Post #63 of 77

MD1032

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Quote:

Originally Posted by minya
Read all about ladder theory.


OMG! That's hilarious, and so true!!!
biggrin.gif
 
Aug 18, 2004 at 9:34 PM Post #64 of 77

viator122

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MD1032
For me, it's a similar struggle. There have been a few times in my life where I've felt a certain way about a certain girl, but just can't do anything. Anyway, most of what I feel right now I blame on hormones, so I've basically told myself "NO!" when it comes to girls. In my right mind, this is an excellent decision, and much smarter than the ones my peers are making (what with breaking up and all that garbage), but then again hormones cause nearly uncontrollable desires sometimes (no, get your mind out of the gutter!) to have a girlfriend, just because, but I know I wouldn't be happy with one unless we truly were friends. Also, I've convinced myself for the time being that I'm not going to get into marriage later on in life (of course, I don't exactly know what love is, either).

The jist of it is: If I didn't have hormones, I'd consider this entire girl buisness complete garbage, and do, when I'm not under the influence (of girls
wink.gif
).



eek.gif
Dude, you need to get in touch with your Id ... FAST
 
Aug 18, 2004 at 9:49 PM Post #66 of 77

Edwood

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Quote:

Says: I want a man who is motivated and has goals.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: I want a man who knows how to treat a woman.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: He's from a really good family.
Means: He's from a really rich family.


That's a great article, very cynical, but entertaining read.

-Ed
 
Aug 18, 2004 at 9:52 PM Post #67 of 77

Edwood

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Quote:

We can only pursue what runs away from us.
A man who is devoted to something else besides the woman is autmatically more attractive.


LOL, so this means you should devote yourself to the R10's. Brag about how expensive they are. Brag about how much money you are going to spend on accessories for the R10's.
biggrin.gif


-Ed
 
Aug 19, 2004 at 1:20 AM Post #68 of 77

MD1032

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Quote:

Originally Posted by viator122
eek.gif
Dude, you need to get in touch with your Id ... FAST



What? What is an id?
 
Aug 19, 2004 at 1:23 AM Post #69 of 77

Alex Altorfer

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MD1032
OMG! That's hilarious, and so true!!!
biggrin.gif



It's so true but it's so narrow a view of things. Reality is more complex than that. There are nuances and degrees of intent in human behavior. For instance, the author claims that men have only one ladder, whereas women have two (one for guys they want as friends and another for the ones they'd bonk with). That's too simplistic. It's perfectly possible for a guy to have two ladders as well. Moreover, the idea that mating with ever better looking people, thus climbing up your "ladder", is the very meaning of life, is very sad. Just because you have an instinct that burns in your crotch all your life doesn't mean that it should be the only thing you can derive meaning from. One might as well transcend one's instincts and go beyond the ladder. We are not lower animals. We are not below the level of volition. We have the benefit of rational thinking whereby we can subdue the tyranny of instinct.

Cheers,
Alex
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Aug 19, 2004 at 1:45 AM Post #70 of 77

r3cc0s

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I think sometimes too many girls are just out to find their ideal person
confidence is very important
however I do belive the most important part is the physical attraction, without intial chemistry, how else do you get a girl intrigued?

regardless there are also alot of women who are quite cultured and intelligent who realizes that looks are not important, but what kind of warmth, charm, chivalry is important

however I do belive race is somewhat important
Being from a cantonese family, I know my parents *or mother* would prefer if I found myself a chinese girl, however the picking is slim in the part of Canada where I am
I myself grew up in middle class suburbia so I don't think I haven't had too many issues
as being 1st generation canadian
I grew up to be a pretty big guy 6'0 190 and I keep in good shape, I always work out, run etc...

not to toot my own horn
I think I look decent
I have had plenty of hot girl friends
I keep the latest fashion and buy high fashion clothes, keep changing my hair etc..
I very well cultured, i've taken etiquitte classes
travelled europe and south east asia
I am very fond of all tastes and genres of music
my family is from hong kong and i'm somewhat bilinguled in cantonese
I wakeboard, used to ski for Canada's national freestyle development team (moguls), golf to a 4 handicap , cpga-b apprentice, and play soccer
I ride motorcycles and I drive a scooter currently lol, I have a nice alfa romeo sports car a SUV
I am huge into technology and I work in the information systems field for the largest IT firm
I can cook varieties of food, from french right to japanese
I used to DJ and was pretty good at technical turntableism
i'm no nipper by any means, I grew up with a few german and french families
(but unlike most white folk I can dance) sorry i'm just joking
alot of things i'm good at, and I am very outgoing (perhaps even clownish)


not like what I listed was a resume but I do know I had a girl who was a great friend who I was intrested in, but the attraction was never there for her

she basically gave me a discription of her ideal man, and I would have fit those criteria's except i'm not a skinny guy w/ blonde curly locks
she is not by any means shallow, otherwise I would never be intrested
However I think as where she grew up, there were not many asian people around or by any means anything else except for mormans, I am just assuming she is not culturally attracted

those are my 2 cents
 
Aug 19, 2004 at 2:39 AM Post #71 of 77

HiWire

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The ladder theory is hilarious. I'm a psych major, so pseudo-science by definition amuses me.

Remember, don't cross that line between being confident and being a shallow jerk - you may get the girl, but nobody else
will want to know you.

I'm approaching my thirties in a few years... there's no more time for beating around the bush (get your heads out of the gutter)
tongue.gif


If you can't be charming, at least be articulate and honest. That's probably the long way around
biggrin.gif
 
Aug 19, 2004 at 3:19 AM Post #72 of 77

Alex Altorfer

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HiWire,

I know this is a bit off-topic so maybe we should start another thread?

Quote:

Originally Posted by HiWire
The ladder theory is hilarious. I'm a psych major, so pseudo-science by definition amuses me.


I find the cultic, fundamentalist zeal of that website's author creepy rather than hilarious. Anyways, consider Evolutionary Psychology: it states that women instictively seek a male hunter /gatherer/ provider. This is of course related to money. While some women want a man who is able to provide for them and the kids (has the ability to make money), others are golddiggers who seek the man's money itself. Yet no reasonable, intelligent woman would want to marry a loser. Men, on the other hand, have the impulse of spreading their chromosomes as much as possible, which accounts for the ubiquity of male infidelity. Apparently the distinction between average male and female body sizes are related to this as well, indicating that the human species is not biologically intended to be monogamous. That's why monogamy is an ongoing conscious decision. Evolutionary Psychology is of course debatable as well as theoretical, but it is not generally regarded as pseudoscience. Some of it seems to support the Ladder Theory. What do you, as a Psych major, think of all this? Could you elaborate a critique of the Ladder Theory's pseudoscientific aspects?

Cheers,
Alex
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Aug 19, 2004 at 3:45 AM Post #73 of 77

HiWire

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Sure, he's pulling those pie chart numbers out of his butt
eek.gif


He's basically making statements that most people are uncomfortable with - the rule of the lower brain over the rationalization of the cortex. Or the id, as somebody mentioned.

Let's put it this way - when you look at an attractive member of the opposite sex (if you are so inclined), do you not make a quick analysis for compatibility if you are not attached? Anyone who says otherwise is lying - that is a rationalization.

People get thrown in jail or make horrible decisions all the time because of their baser instincts, yet you also get in serious trouble if you ignore your instincts/intuition. We're just a bunch of hairless monkeys
biggrin.gif
With really good headphones
 
Aug 19, 2004 at 7:18 AM Post #74 of 77

Wmcmanus

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Nice thread. I really liked the Ladder Theory. Such wonderful, dark humor and mostly true.
 
Aug 19, 2004 at 7:23 AM Post #75 of 77

minya

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Quote:

Originally Posted by HiWire
I'm a psych major, so pseudo-science by definition amuses me.


It must amuse you indeed. You're devoting your academic life to it, after all.

wink.gif


Ladder theory, like many other things in this world, contains some truths and lots of falsehoods. But most importantly, it's an entertaining read.

- Chris
 

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