[kerelybonto]

If you're looking for some way to get rid of it, you could always go invest in MCI WorldCom. ...

kerelybonto

 

[HD-5000]

andrzejpw, remember that your parents want the best for you. And I think that in your age, a headphone amp shouldnt be your top priority of things to buy. While you have things like headphone amps and such in mind, they are thinking of YOU and they may feel that your money is better spent on saving up for college. My point is, WHATEVER THEY SAY, GOES!

 

[fredpb]

Quote:

Originally posted by andrzejpw Well, I just got my check today for some work over the last 2 weeks. $330. That brings my balance to $1105. I can't do anything with it, but boy! Doesn't that look pretty!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.............

Wow. If you can't spend $400 on an amp, now, my opinion is, your parents have a problem.

 

[Nezer]

Quote:

Originally posted by andrzejpw Well, I just got my check today for some work over the last 2 weeks. $330. That brings my balance to $1105. I can't do anything with it, but boy! Doesn't that look pretty!

Dude! That's some serious cash. I wish I had that in my account! I've found once I break $1000 in savings, I try and see how far I can stretch it.

Here's a thought, continue doing what you're doing and by the time you start college you'll have some good cash for an HP4 and some kegs (for when you turn 21).

 

[andrzejpw]

lol, yeah. But this is also my money for a college computer. Hey, if I can make $1000 a year . . .

 

[john_jcb]

You will find plenty to spend it on. Don't let it burn a hole in your pocket (easier said then done). Focus your attention on the DIY amp, it will be a fun Summer project and listening adventure.

 

[andrzejpw]

lol, I know. When adding up the parts, I realize that the META42 will cost about $100 in parts!

 

[Kubernetes]

Quote:

Not to be critical or anything, or sound mean, your Dad works his ass off for stuff, then he has to give it to other people. Support other people. He can't use all his money for taking care of himself then buying toys for himself. He spends his cash on you and your family. He NEEDS relief, time off, a hobby of his own. He NEEDS to have fun and relieve stress. Best thing to do is hope he co operates in what he does allow and enjoy life.

Not to criticize Andrjez's father too much, but that's his responsibility to take care of his family. He took on that responsibility. It's good that he's doing it well, but it's valid to ask why the father can spend obnoxious amounts of his family's money on luxury goods when Andrjez can't spend his own. Andrjez's responsibility is to not do drugs and prepare for his future. I don't see how buying an item with his own money violates this.

And while Andrjez's father means well (i.e. protecting his son), he's not allowing Andrjez to learn his own lessons. Honestly, what's the harm of letting him use his own money to buy an item? What's the worst that could happen? That Andrjez is less than satisfied with his purchase? If that's the case, then maybe Andrjez has learned a valuable lesson. If he is satisfied, then the $400 was well spent--to Andrjez, and that's to whom the satisfaction is all-important.

When I was 17 I spent $2500 on a mountain bike. Was that wise or stupid? It was wise to me because I still have that bike and have gotten years and years of enjoyment out of it--to me it was easily worth 2 or 3 times what I paid for it. My parents thought I was nuts, but they didn't stop me because they realized that this was something that was important to me.

 

[jlo mein]

Well, i am 17 right now.

I can see where his father is going. My father would not probably let me buy $200CAN etymotic er-6's. Why? He sees that i could be using that $200 for much more constructive purposes. He probably thinks that i could be saving it for university. The point is, is that he doesn't like me spending a lot of money on one thing, because he's affraid that it will be the *toy of the moment*and then later i will want another expensive item. From a certain view, i can see his point. Once he lets me buy one expensive thing, i will continue to buy more expensive *toys*.

However, by doing this, he is limiting what i purchase and therefore i cannot buy what i really want. Is this right, is this just? Unfortunitely i have to say YES. The money can be used more wisely, and i would be tempted to buy more things if i buy one thing.

 

[MirandaX]

Quote:

Originally posted by jlo mein Well, i am 17 right now.

Do you honestly think that his controlling attitude will change substantively next year when you turn 18?

You'll be old enough to drink (in Canada), vote, and fight for your country, but not buy the headphones you want. It's insane.

This isn't about your ability or inability to make decisions, it's about your parents' personal need for control, and their refusal to recognize you as a distinct person who needs to individuate and learn how to deal with the real world. It's not healthy.

Face it, sooner or later you have to stop listening to your parents and start acting on your own. This includes taking responsibility for your own actions and their consequences.

 

[john_jcb]

Quote:

Originally posted by MirandaX Face it, sooner or later you have to stop listening to your parents and start acting on your own. This includes taking responsibility for your own actions and their consequences.

I think this is what all parents want. I have 2 children that both have faced similar situations as we have debated here. They are now 28 and 22. They both graduated from college in 4 years, the older one is a bank VP and the younger is preparing for law school. There were many times when I said no to things. I always tried to explain my reasons and talk it through. There was not always agreement and I am sure they resented me for it at times. But I always had their best intrest in mind. From a young age I attempted to instill a value system in them. If a child does not have this foundation there is little chance they will make wise choices when given the opportunity. Just look today at all of the people that are mired in personal debt. Many are one check away from being homeless. It is my opinion that much of this comes from the need for instant gratification that was never checked when they were young.

Each of my children as young adults have their own values and I still do not agree with everything they do. What I do think though is that their values are built on a good foundation. Parents have a duty to prepare their children for adult life. Letting them stumble blindly about learning by their mistakes is not the way. There are exceptions both good and bad that can be cited to show where my way is not the only one. It is difficult for parents at time to let their children spread their wings and go it alone. I think that 16 is as tough on the parents as the kids. You feel the need to let them go but still want to hold on. Give a little on both sides and it will work out.

 

[MirandaX]

Quote:

Originally posted by john_jcb There were many times when I said no to things. I always tried to explain my reasons and talk it through. There was not always agreement and I am sure they resented me for it at times. But I always had their best intrest in mind. From a young age I attempted to instill a value system in them. If a child does not have this foundation there is little chance they will make wise choices when given the opportunity.

Your post is well put, and I agree in spirit with most everything you've said. But your reasoning makes two assumptions:
1) parents have a decent value system of their own,
2) that value system (or one inspired by it) is appropriate for their children.

It's difficult to say how frequently both these conditions are simultaneously met. In my case, neither held. I'll save you the story, but I spent six years digging myself out of a hole that I never would have gotten into had I stopped taking their advice and started thinking on my own much earlier in my life.

 

[john_jcb]

Quote:

Originally posted by MirandaX Your post is well put, and I agree in spirit with most everything you've said. But your reasoning makes two assumptions: 1) parents have a decent value system of their own, 2) that value system (or one inspired by it) is appropriate for their children.

You are 100% right. There are no prerequisites for becoming a parent. Parents cannot instill what they do not have. It can become a cycle that may last for generations. Child abuse, neglect, verbal abuse etc. IMO are learned behaviours to a large extent. I only hope that the values I attempted to pass on formed a good foundation for theirs to be built on. My 2 kids I should point out are as different as night and day. Sometimes I or others can see my influence but they both have developed into their own unique person.

 

[Kubernetes]

Quote:

Letting them stumble blindly about learning by their mistakes is not the way.

So true, but I believe that to be the case when such measures are warranted. Andrjez seems like a bright enough kid. I think he should be allowed to find his own way...especially when the worst negative consequence is so benign. It it were drugs or drag-racing, I might feel differently. Young people yearn to have independence and freedom; I feel it's best to put caps on legitimate concerns, not something like this. Honestly, either way it turns out, Andrjez has earned his own money, and he appears to understand the value of his sacrifice. To understand that at 16 is awesome in my book.

John_JCB, you sound like a great dad... hats off to you.

 

[jlo mein]

Quote:

Do you honestly think that his controlling attitude will change substantively next year when you turn 18?

What i meant was that i am 17 right now, SO i can relate to andrzejpw, not the fact that i turn 18 next year.

I am just saying that sometimes parents really know best. Sometimes they dont. Sometimes they are overprotective. Sometimes they arent.

lol