[Driftwood]

eehhh,

I am wavering on this issue. On one hand I can understand your frustration because I think that in one way or another everyone has gone through a little of the same thing. The thing is though that when I think back to my audio purchases made in high school, I find that I pretty much regret all of it. My only word of advice is, make sure you do your research. Look into everything and if you spend an extra month looking into your options, you have just that much extra to spend, and you will be so much happier in the long run.

If DIY really isn't doing it for you, buy the stuff anyway, and have it shipped to a friend's house or something. Not that I am encouraging you to defy your parents, but it is my opinion that ultimately your money is your problem, even when you make silly or bad decisions. Just make sure you can afford it! (But being in high school, I think this should not be a problem).

Anyway, just my 5 cents, or whatever we are up to now taking into account inflation...

Driftwood

 

[john_jcb]

Quote:

Originally posted by Driftwood eehhh, If DIY really isn't doing it for you, buy the stuff anyway, and have it shipped to a friend's house or something. Not that I am encouraging you to defy your parents, but it is my opinion that ultimately your money is your problem ........... Driftwood

You stand to loose one very important thing if you were to take this approach, your parents.trust . Once it is lost they will never hear anything you say the same way again. The seed of mistrust once planted grows like a weed.

I don't want to seem preachy but as you go through High School and hopefully college you will need your parents on your side. Do not damage the relationship over something material like an amplifier.

 

[Beagle]

Quote:

Originally posted by sTaTIx Ok, sure, he may be able to spend several hundred dollars on stereo equipment right now, when he's leeching off of his gaddam parents. But what if, when he moves out, he'll constantly be swallowing his pride, and calling up his parents and begging them for cash because he's dead broke? If his parents were encouraging him to spend several hundred dollars on a sudden fancy, they wouldn't be teaching them an f'ing THING about how the real life works!

Very good points. I agree. This is how I feel about my teenage son. Unless you work for something you don't really appreciate what it takes to get it. The worst thing is getting something, then having to pay for it. The novelty wears off, you quickly lose the desire to pay the piper and you get into deep debt. The credit card trap. If you want something, save up and buy it. This is the kind of teaching I'd like to put across. Unfortunately my wife has a different approach that will end up in a Catch-22 situation. And I don't particularly cotton to the idea of (financially) supporting a child for the rest of his life.

 

[sTaTIx]

Quote:

Originally posted by andrzejpw But what I don't understand is that I've grown an appreciation for other hobbies. My dad's is obviously golf. I'm sure he's spent more money on balls, tee-times, clubs, etc than I've spent on audio. Then there's my mom. You only have to look at MY closet to see what she likes. Clothes, jewlery, etc. I mean she doesn't spend a lot of money at once on it. Maybe $15, 20, but it all adds up!

You cannot compare your expenditures and hobbies to your parents. They also happen to support you and each other while they're out there blowing cash on golfing equipment and jewelery. They put food on the table every day. They feed you. What do YOU do that allows you the ability to spend money on an expensive hobby? When you move out, and you can fend for yourself and feed yourself and make things work by yourself, and you feel like you can really buy that headphone amp without killing your finances, then by all means do so.

 

[andrzejpw]

Statix: I realize that. That's what I said a few posts above.

Look, I'd buy the amp with the money that I've made. Theres a reason that I ran around a friggin' soccer field this past weekend. 7 games a day isn't a cake walk.

 

[Audio Redneck]

OK, so I can't help throwing another $.02 into this.

(For perspective, I'm 34 and have 3 kids, the oldest being 6)

First: as long as you are living under your parents roof (now stop zoning out on me and hear me out...) its THIER money you are spending. I know you earn some money, but if it weren't for them, you'd be spending that money on FOOD. Don't grip about what they spend it on because they measure it in YEARS of work and not an afternoon.

So keeping that in mind, they are going to be VERY particular about the toys (defined as anything that brings you enjoyment but is not a requirement for you to live and breath) YOU buy. They will buy you some (they WANT TO if you haven't guessed), but they will be cautious because your tastes WILL change and your circumstances will change.

When I was sixteen my folks LET ME buy a '67 Mustang ($1500) - they wouldn't let me buy a '72 MG that was the same price and I wanted more. I had an after school job that paid for it (and it only). A year later they pretty much bought me a new '85 GTI ($10K). When I was 23, I was still in school and had been paying most of my own way, I was working full time at a PC shop for just over minimum. I found a '77 Triumph I wanted and tried to get a $2k loan from a bank, but didn't have the credit for a signature loan (banks won't loan on cars past a certain age). My dad found out through someone and volunteered to co-sign (so I could get the car and build my credit).

So my advice: Continue to show them respect. Continue to show they can trust you. Show them that you make good choices and recognize quality. I suspect they will "loosen up" and they may have something better than a Little in mind for you in the future.

 

[Beagle]

Quote:

Originally posted by andrzejpw I'd buy the amp with the money that I've made. Theres a reason that I ran around a friggin' soccer field this past weekend. 7 games a day isn't a cake walk.

Maybe HeadRoom could sponsor the World Cup?

 

[Xander]

Life incomplete without music? That depends on who you are. Enjoy music with a pair of 580s and a CMOY, ofcourse. Twist my words around for your own self loathing egotistical views so that you might feel better? Probably.

Success is great. Living comfortably is great, and as long as you have the means to do that, it's a wonderful thing. I spoke of none of the things which you responded with. Stop making assumptions. I never said being "homeless" was addiquite, or anything else even remotely similar. Success isn't limited to living "comfortably," either. When you're dead, are you going to care whether or not you had a decent car and a house to live in with central air? I guess it depends on what your standards are. I live in a basement and spend most of my time with music, emotional, and spiritual things, as well as the people I love and those around me.

I'm merely stating that he should be able to purchase something with his own money, which he earned, if it helps him enjoy music more than he is right now. Specific musical pieces can be very spiritually and emotionally enhancing, which to me, is something that's very important and worth focusing some of my money on. He should be allowed to do the same.

 

[sTaTIx]

Quote:

Originally posted by Xander Life incomplete without music? That depends on who you are. Enjoy music with a pair of 580s and a CMOY, ofcourse. Twist my words around for your own self loathing egotistical views so that you might feel better? Probably.

Ok, I thought this kind of stuff was taboo on this board. Calling me self-loathing and egotistical was unnecessary.

Quote:

I'm merely stating that he should be able to purchase something with his own money, which he earned, if it helps him enjoy music more than he is right now. Specific musical pieces can be very spiritually and emotionally enhancing, which to me, is something that's very important and worth focusing some of my money on. He should be allowed to do the same.

As great, essential, and spiritually enhancing as you make music out to be, life is all about sacrifices and compromises. I never said he should NEVER be able to get that $400 headphone amp. Is it a worthwhile thing to buy? Perhaps. I'm not arguing whether it's important to own a headphone amp or not. But bear in mind that life requires patience and instant, momentary gratification almost never yields satisfactory results. You say that andrze should live by the moment and enjoy life as it stands right now. I say that he should take a shrewder, more patient road, and enjoy life even more when he is older. That's just my view, take it for what it's worth.

 

[Audio-Me]

Look, he is living off his parents, which allows him to earn his own money. Still, if he earned it, it's dumb to tell him "no, because you don't pay rent or provide your own food", do you not still let your kid live in the house and feed him if he defys you? Well that's like their parents giving him money, but they don't let him spend it oon something he wants that he has thought over carefully? That is teasing, just as bad as slapping your kid if he says something naughty. Give advice and logic on why you think that way, not enslave the kid to your way only.

 

[jlo mein]

well, being a 17 year old (hehe just last friday), i think i understand your situation.

however, i also understand your dad's point. Ok, so he spends $400 on clubs for golf. But how long has he been playing golf? i'm sure he's been playing it for quite a while.

When he looks at you, he sees that you've sort of *dived* into the world of audio, trying to buy everything expensive to get the best, from his perspective. I mean, you only got your senn 580 and other stuff just under a year ago right? thats a short amount of time. Im sure he just doesnt want you spending a lot of money on a hobby you havent had for very long.

Another point is: you're now 16. You got 2 more years til college. Tuition is NOT cheap. Dorms are NOT cheap. Textbooks are NOT cheap. Food is NOT cheap. you get the idea. It is all going to cost a lot of money. And while at college, you wont have a whole lot of time to work for money, so you have to start saving. I already have quite a big chunk of money stashed away, since tuition in Canada aint gettin cheaper. I could very well take it out of the bank and blow it on audio, but i know that i need that money for my education. So im sure your dad is trying to be helpful by being concerned about your future.

I think what your dad is doing is normal. All dads first reactions to their sons spending money is NO. When i wanted my grados my dad was like, "$70 US for headphones? Never!". Things change, people change *slightly*, miracles sometimes happen.

Also, im sure your dad will be a lot more optimistic if you started listening to music he likes. Ever since i started listening to jazz, my dad really started getting all chummy with me, you know, checking out my music, trying out my headphones, etc. So if you make a connection with your dad, he might start to see things on your level.

But i mean, who am i to talk i this? My dad thinks the grado 60's were my final buy in headphones, and that the JMT amp im ordering is the final amp.....little does he know im stashing a bit every so often, eyeing those etymotic er-6's....

 

[Outdoor Man]

It's not dead.

See it as a hybernation.

Peter.

 

[DanG]

I'd like to touch on the issue Audio&Me addressed -- "enslav[ing] the kid to your way only."

Nowadays it's a common liberal idea that parents should be careful not to instill too strong of a value system on their children because it may hinder their growths as independent human beings. The mother of my friend (also third cousin) said that she wanted her son to discover his values for himself.

What do we get when values aren't instilled in people by those that have more experience and, like it or not, wisdom? We have children who grow up with no real values except those formed by inexperienced minds not guided into the world. How can values be shaped? Only through action, not through words alone.

It's often tough to accept that one's parents have more experience and wisdom -- but it's no coincidence that the three largest religions in the world hold as one of their central precepts to "honor thy father and mother." It's also no coincidence that every modern totalitarian society has made a point to specifically target children -- the Hitler Youth of Nazi Germany and the Pioneers and Continental Union of Youths in the Soviet Union, for example.

In the end, like it or not, your parents have control of your actions, whether you like it or not. I've tried to justify that control, but justification or lack thereof will not have influence on the way life is. As soon as you accept reality you will begin enjoying it more -- but it seems you already do accept it.

 

[BDA_ABAT]

Dude... relax! If your Dad offered to help build an amp with you, DO IT! Not only for the reasons outlined by nezer and johnjcb (which are all excellent!), but for other reasons as well.

If you are like many 16 year olds (not saying that you are, just throwing this out there), you probably don't spend a WHOLE lot of time with your dad. You probably feel like you don't have a whole lot in common. At this age, it's all too easy to feel disconnected from your dad. Can lead to all kinds of problems and challenges for both you and your dad... most of which are realy unnecessary but happen anyway. What better way to establish a connection with him?

Now think about this.... what if your dad wasn't around anymore? And, by being around, I mean that in every sense. I have no idea what's up with your dad and I'm really not trying to be morbid. The bottom line is that stuff happens. Your dad could also get cought up in work and not really be around, you could get cought up in your life and not be around. And, then you'll be off to college and then you'll NEVER be around, except to do laundry and cop a free meal. After college, then what? Well, you'll have to bust your ass full time for YOUR work (which will probably take you to another town). Then the only time you'll see your folks is at holidays.

Frankly, I would have LOVED to do a DIY amp (or ANY project that I had initiated) with my old man at that age. When I was 16, he was really busy with work. When he wasn't working, he also hit the links. Then I got busy. I started working a bunch (primarily to pay for audio equipment). Between my school activities and work and his work and other activities/responsibilities, we didn't have much time to spend together. We drifted apart. And I didn't really get a chance to understand him until years later. I don't really know if he ever got to understand me at all as an adult.

Wish I had had or taken the opportunity to do a project together with him. He died before I finished college.

Frankly, your dad had an excellent idea/compromise. This is an opportunity for both of you that you would be nuts to pass up. I hope I have your dad's ability to think on the fly when I get confronted with similar issues from my son!

Bruce

 

[NotoriousBIG_PJ]

I'm at college right now and I just dropped $410 on grado rs1's. If my parents found out, they wouldn't be pleased.

But the thing is, I've paid for tuition, books and residence all on my own so I could really care less what anyone thinks about what I spend my money on. Soon it will be an old sony portable and then meta 42 and then.... who knows.

Biggie.