I'm trying to communicate an idea by creating a rational emotional state. I create these individual satires, these sarcasms, these little ones. Such as "I like cheese on everything" its real, I do, but I'm pointing the finger at myself, I'm accusing myself. I'm saying it's wrong, some of the things are lies some are truths, it doesn't matter, what matters is the result I'm trying to communicate. If you understand it, I think it changes something in your brain, it's different from just reading an objection. You have to submit to it to understand.
"Why ask why try bud dry. You know, just forget about it man. Go get drunk, havent you watched TV lately? Watch friends, laugh it up, have some beers. Forget about your problems. Start smoking, make the satisfaction of your addiction the most important part of your life. Have some beers, smoke, watch friends, get laid, go to mcdonalds and flip hamburgers, repeat. Its a good life, I love america. I love it so much."
I opened with that, when I said that I set up the rationale, this is sarcasm, the meaning is opposite from the literal. But I try to be convincing, maybe I half believe it. YOu have to understand that I am putting myself into the writing but I am also judging myself as the writer. The real meaning is from the point of view of the writer.
"I love you I luv headphones, I luv sex and ****, I luv masturbation, I luv pleasing myself, I luc chocolate and pistachios, I want cheese on everything, I want lots of salt on my eggs, I want a fast car thats really safe. Thank god the government is there to keep the car manufacturers in line, to keep the cars safe. thank god, i luv them 2. "
Here I talk about indulgence, I talk about hedonism, I talk about making your life worthwhile by stringing together lots of meaningless but pleasurable little events. I talk about taking indulgence to the point where its bad then how people half ass a sense of safety. Like diet coke at mcdonalds. I throw in a little slap for the government as the clueless entity which protects us from things that dont matter while the real dangers are ****ing 95% of us really ******* hard.
"See, my heart is full of luv, this luv permeates my body, i luv tv, my life is like friends, we all laugh about sex and have orgies, then we go to the coffee shop and eat peanuts with salt on them. individually wrapped cashews. we watch george bush and we luv him, becuz... we laugh at george bush, he kills the bad people in the other place, the place over the big water. over there, hes killing the bad ones over there, i need beer, i need water, i need to breathe..."
The I go on to try and denounce my true meaning from the previous paragraph. I try to point out how I really do luv, its not just pointless indulgence. Im full of luv. But its this fake thing, this luv for tv is so fake, and the way friends are on tv is so fake, like the way they all sit around and snack on ****, and indulge their fucd up minds is so fake. aside: (I love friends, I love that damn show because half the time the actors looks like they were up all night doing cocaine, and then they have to come to work and pretend to be friends, and pretend to be funny, and pretend not to be fucn hungover. haha, its such a crock of bull, its so much mor elike real life than anyone wants to admit.) Then I talk about how this is all a result of inner fear, we need to indulge our scared little minds, and group together even when we dont really give a **** about each other. And we like to watch our enemies die together while we fucn snack on 'food' solely for the sake of gorging ourselves, totally useless 'nutrition'. So while we sit around under the guise of eating, but really just submitting to hedonism, and pretending to be friends when we are really just afraid of the world, we watch GWB on the TV giving speeches about how the bad guys are dying and we can all go home and snort a line cuz western democracy is safe at last!
"wut is it you wunt, i need to walk, i need to save some money. I need to make a bank account, money is my life, money is my god, money is food and water, money is sunlight, money is flowers, money is the good things. "
This is the high point. I'm asking anyone who will listen, what do you want? I need to walk an obvious necessity, along with these not so obvious 'necessities', I need all these THINGS. I relate the previous paragraphs need for beer, water and breathe to money. I talk about money being the bringer of life, the beautiful result, and all the good things in life.
i have feet and hands, i walk and talk, i speak words, they are not me, i am them, i am the words, but the words are not me, do you understand? I am george bush, I am friends, I am peanuts, I am individually wrapped isotopes of radiation flowing through your body due to nuclear testing in nevada. I am john waynes cancer infested lung. I am the end of the world. I am death. I luv you.
Finally I close with the admission that I was faking the whole time I wrote this When I speak these words I am them, but they are not me. YOu have to make the distinction between what level I am and am not the words on your own. Then I go on to metamorphosize myself into these various things, george bush, friends, peanuts, radiation, john waynes lung, the end of the world, death. And the fake luv. After death is the fake luv, after the end, its beyond the end, this sick life is beyond death. **** THIS SICK LIFE.
