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Do I think that the US is a true democracy? No. Do I believe my vote counts? Hell no, my view is almost 99% against the majority, what the hell good would .00000...1% do, especially since hardly anyone else would feel the same way? I think most of the people who vote, don't even know what the hell they are voting on, they just get entangled in campaign charisma. I know I will get flamed for this, but it doesn't matter, it won't effect me in any way as this is how I feel, and I'm stubborn . |
In theory, the reason the United States was made as a republic rather than an almost pure democracy was to delegate power down the chain and make people handle their problems on a local level where they can talk things out and make informed choices preventing mob rule.
As a result, the original Constitution only required Reps of the House to be elected and the method of chosing senators and electors was to be decided by the state legislatures. In some cases this didn't work out (southern aristocracy-slavery) and in most cases change was gradual, so they overhauled the system. But I think that those failures were reflections on the people themselves rather than the system. In a democratic government, if the people are ***ked up no one can save them. Personally, I'd like to see a bit more power come down to a managable level rather than the big brother government monoliths that rule over us now.
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It's a never ending FIGHT. LIFE is a FIGHT, no matter how much you talk about just living life to its fullest, you always have to stand up now and then and put your back into something. And if you dont, you really havent lived life to the fullest no matter how many times you went on that sky diving trip with that hot blonde in tights. |
Sometimes I feel that my blood is flowing backwards and the ground is moving with pain or hate or sadness or joy or pleasure and realize that yes, I am ALIVE with my heart pounding to break through my ribs.
However, I don't axe a hag or jump out of airplanes. To always feel life at its damning fullest, with every second feeling like an eternity desecrates and makes too common those moments when I really feel life at my fullest. I've read countless accounts of war vets in which they go through all sort of ***t with the fear and furious concentration of combat, the adrenaline rushes getting weaker and weaker. I don't want to be like that. I want to mourn terribly and feel my heart ripping at the funeral of someone I love, and burst and gush with joy at a birth of a friend or family. In between I'd rather live a semi-intense life studying, listening to music, reading, working out, praying, and interacting with other people.
Life sometimes rushes around me suffocating me in a sea of feelings and I close my eyes and just PUSH against it, but most of the time it is me in a boat working forward in a winable but not easy fight, toward reachable but distant goals. Another thing is that I will live to fight another day, be free to explore other options and other futures. Thats how I feel. If I wanted to feel at my fullest all the time, I would go down the street and find a drug dealer.
Sometimes I don't even have to work at it. Sometimes I'm cooling down after a jog or getting up in a beautiful morning and I am ALIVE all over again. I get depressed, sad, lonely walking along a river with the sweat from my run dripping and everything, every single detail of what is around me, the old bridge silent cars couples walking hand in hand the empty benchs, I can FEEL these and I am lonely. And somedays I can hop out the door and the sun is bursting with radiance and the grass is a good green and the birds are chirping and I know that the girl I have a crush on will be at the bus stop, and I can feel these too and I am happy.
The people I am around got used to my heights and pits of my emotions. I don't have a problem with them. I've never seen prozac(?) in my life. I'm still in my teens though.
It takes years to make literary, musical, or artistic masterpieces. During that time it is practically impossible for anyone short of being a junkie to feel their fullest all the time. There are lulls in creativity and passages that do become stuck. They work at it, get warmed up, write in a fury of passion and get stuck again.
It's natural. The guy with cancer didn't jump out of the airplane twice, did he?