[Carl]

Nothing wrong with getting tested, but you sure made it sound like one of you was up to no good. Women freak out over stuff like that.

 

[Thelonious Monk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carl /img/forum/go_quote.gif Nothing wrong with getting tested, but you sure made it sound like one of you was up to no good. Women freak out over stuff like that.

iirc, digitalbath is female too; sorry if i'm mistaken lol

 

[LawnGnome]

Getting tested is a smart idea. She could have had something for months and only show it now.

Also, some STD's you don't have to have sex to get. (herpes and HIV)

 

[boomana]

DigitalBath, it was probably the way it was done and not that fact that it was done that got to her. Unless I misunderstood your post, she learned about you getting tested after it was done and you'd received a phone call. Had you thought to let her know before you had the appointment, saying something like, "I'm going for my doc appointment and will get tested like I always do... it's nothing personal...blah blah etc.," she might not have gotten upset. It probably felt like a sneaky thing in her mind since she wasn't prepared for it, and due to that, it raised suspicions, and once there, it became personal rather than routine. Remember, you had time to think about things beforehand so your reasoning was all in place. She didn't have that time, so her reasoning is tangled with suspicion and surprise. If she's upset, you gotta take the hit for that.

On the other hand, I applaud your decision to be tested regularly. Though I've never cheated on anyone when in a relationship, and have been lucky and careful with partners both in relationships and on the side, I still get tested every year for everything, and due to my job, I get tested for HIV every six months. It's just part of my annual checkups. No big deal.

If you want this to be a health concern, and not a relationship one. Why don't you just ask your girlfriend to pick up that healthy habit herself? Have her make an appointment, too. You can even get nauseating couplish and schedule one together next time.

 

[Digitalbath3737]

Seaside and boomana I think have really hit the nail on the head. Sorry to say I never thought about it from that point of view. I just made the appointment and went like I always do. I should've known better than to do anything without informing her first

. I'll be sure to throw in an apology first thing tomorrow if she starts talking to me by then. Next time I go get tested hopefully we'll both make appointments, she's really into all that sickening couple stuff.

I'm dreading tomorrows talk with her. Being careful and tactful isn't my strong suit. Hopefully I'll be able to help her understand why it's important to me to get tested and not insult her at the same time.

Thelonious Monk yes I'm a female, but honestly I still don't understand them. Women are seriously unreasonable and complicated beings. Even we don't understand what goes on in our minds

 

[lumanogin]

No way. If the partner has any qualms about it, it puts even more suspicion on them.

 

[Czilla9000]

I love all the twists and turns in this thread

 

[nibiyabi]

For those curious, woman-woman sexual contact is the least likely to spread STDs, but it's still a good idea to get tested.

Of course, I don't know if you've played on both sides of the fence.

 

[Carl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digitalbath3737 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thelonious Monk yes I'm a female, but honestly I still don't understand them. Women are seriously unreasonable and complicated beings. Even we don't understand what goes on in our minds

At least you're not boring though. Us men are far too predictable in our reactions.

 

[jonnywolfet]

some std's wont show up on a test until you have had the virus for enough time for it to be detectable. for that reason its a good idea to check regularly. for both your sakes.

 

[jpelg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digitalbath3737 /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm a female, but honestly I still don't understand them. Women are seriously unreasonable and complicated beings. Even we don't understand what goes on in our minds.

I don't know if that's reassuring, or more disconcerting.

Seriously though, I hope the situation works out for the best between the two of you. I'm sure it will.

 

[ken36]

Smart, not distrustful. IMO.

 

[daveDerek]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrarroyo /img/forum/go_quote.gif Lets start with the assumption that you are not cheating and as you stated that both of you started by getting tested and both were clean. The only reasons I see to get tested are: 1. You do not trust your GF. 2. You are nuts. 3. Your GF uses IV drugs and you do not 4. Your GF uses Non-IV drugs or is a heavy drinker which could lead her to have intercourse with an infected third party or participate in an orgy Best of luck resolving this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LawnGnome /img/forum/go_quote.gif Getting tested is a smart idea. She could have had something for months and only show it now. Also, some STD's you don't have to have sex to get. (herpes and HIV)

as lawngnome's post makes clear mrarroyo's list is incomplete. just because a disease entity is known as 'sexually transmitted' that doesn't mean it's the only way to acquire it. health care workers have an occupational risk of acquiring some nasty infections, some of which are commonly considered stds. in some ways i'd be more concerned about exposure to hepatitis c than to hiv, which is a far less sturdy virus.

 

[LonerGenius]

Probably a bit too late for you to do this...but here goes...

I like to be tested regularly based upon the logic that it can take awhile for HIV to show up in your system. For my own peace of mind I get tested based on past, not current, behaviors. So it would make sense to explain it from that point of view...a lack of confidence about the past and not your current partner.

Good luck!

 

[EyeAmEye]

Here's what you should do:
1) Cheat on her with someone with an STD (put an ad for it in the paper

)
2) Pass it on to her
3) Clear up your own infection and wait for her to get sick
4) When step 3 occurs, cross your arms, tilt your head to the side and say "See, I told you it's a good idea to get tested"


Seriously, I can see why someone might find it offensive, but 100% trust in anyone is foolish, and she should be able to understand that. I think the biggest problem with relationships is too much trust, which leads to a greatest sense of betrayal. Despite the human desire to find "the one", I honestly don't believe from a hereditary stance our species is meant for monogamy.