[jbloudg20]

If I were her, I'd be pissed too.

But I have 100% trust in my g/f of 6 years. If she said she was getting tested, I'd be ripping pissed.

 

[FallenAngel]

I couldn't imagine that getting test would make my girlfriend flip out, but then again, I don't understand everyone. I can understand under which scenario they could get upset about it or start thinking of every worst case scenario, but if you are with somebody that jumps to those conclusions, you've got some trust issues in that relationship.

My philosophy is that if you don't have trust you have nothing. Personally if my girlfriend went to get tested, I would be a little curious and casually ask how come, but I get tested every year or so anyway. I've been with her for 3 years and never cheated, I also am sure she hasn't either, it's just a thing I do, and although I don't feel the need to inform her of my visit, I'm not going to hide it either. At least share the results

 

[swt61]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jbloudg20 /img/forum/go_quote.gif If I were her, I'd be pissed too. But I have 100% trust in my g/f of 6 years. If she said she was getting tested, I'd be ripping pissed.

Now that sounds like a complete oxymoron to me. You state that you have 100% trust in your GF, but then you immediately state you'd be pissed if you found out she was getting tested. If you have 100% trust in her why would it bother you if she were getting tested?

I think boomana's post was wise and insightful. While I completely agree with your decision to be tested regularly, I think she makes a great point about how you choose to handle the situation. Honesty is a two way street.

In the 80's I did volunteer work for an AIDS awareness program in Alaska. I lost a close friend and wanted to learn all I could, and do my part to educate others. During this time period I saw dozens of people die from the virus. It's the most humiliating and cruel way I can think of to die, and there's nothing romantic about it.
While medical research has made great strides in the last two decades, the threat is far from over. I see an alarming number of people, mostly younger that not only disregard the danger, but even flirt with it.
I'm not advocating any kind of mistrust in your SO, but it's completely unnecessary to put your life at risk. Trust your spouse or lover, and treat them exactly as you'd like them to treat you. But regular testing doesn't have to be a condemnation of trust. Think of it as added insurance for the health of both you and your partner. Be completely honest about it, and try to make them see it as such.

 

[daveDerek]

Quote:

Originally Posted by swt61 /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think boomana's post was wise and insightful.

she's good at that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonerGenius /img/forum/go_quote.gif I like to be tested regularly based upon the logic that it can take awhile for HIV to show up in your system.

that window where you are most likely to miss it in testing is, iirc, about 6 weeks. yes, there are false negatives and false positives in testing, although they are uncommon.

 

[Log1c]

Donate blood.

Its what I do, so not only do you help other people by giving blood, they test it for all types of diseases. Win Win...

 

[daveDerek]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Log1c /img/forum/go_quote.gif Donate blood. Its what I do, so not only do you help other people by giving blood, they test it for all types of diseases. Win Win...

donating blood is a good thing to do. they don't screen for everything but they do ck for hiv and hepatitis (don't forget about that window where you can miss...).

 

[Digitalbath3737]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nibiyabi /img/forum/go_quote.gif For those curious, woman-woman sexual contact is the least likely to spread STDs, but it's still a good idea to get tested. Of course, I don't know if you've played on both sides of the fence.

Lol only one side of the fence for me. I actually count myself lucky that I don't have an STD. Honestly with my careless past I should have a few STDS by now. I was sleeping with one girl for a year before I discovered she had AIDS. We had been going out for three years. She cheated on me and she ended up with AIDS. I was also cheating on her at the time and I'm glad I didn't get AIDS and pass it on to the other girl I was with. That's when I started getting tested regularly. Before then I never got tested mainly because I knew lesbians had a low chance of contracting an STD. So yea it's a good idea to get tested because it does happen, even though it's not that often.

In other news my gf is talking to me again. Well sort of. I decided to send her tons flowers every hour on the hour till she started talking to me again (the florist loves me right now). She called me to say I was insane. I told her about this thread and that I made a poll and everything. She laughed said I was hopeless

and that she'll come over tonight so we can talk. So now I'm cooking a bunch of her favorite foods! I talked to her best friend today and it looks like Boomana was right. My gf was pissed off mostly because I didn't tell her about it first. So it seemed suspicious to her.

 

[Log1c]

Quote:

Originally Posted by daveDerek /img/forum/go_quote.gif donating blood is a good thing to do. they don't screen for everything but they do ck for hiv and hepatitis (don't forget about that window where you can miss...).

True, but they test it for the main ones and I have donated regularly for the past couple years.

 

[FallenAngel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digitalbath3737 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Lol only one side of the fence for me. I actually count myself lucky that I don't have an STD. Honestly with my careless past I should have a few STDS by now. I was sleeping with one girl for a year before I discovered she had AIDS. We had been going out for three years. She cheated on me and she ended up with AIDS. I was also cheating on her at the time and I'm glad I didn't get AIDS and pass it on to the other girl I was with. That's when I started getting tested regularly. Before then I never got tested mainly because I knew lesbians had a low chance of contracting an STD. So yea it's a good idea to get tested because it does happen, even though it's not that often. In other news my gf is talking to me again. Well sort of. I decided to send her tons flowers every hour on the hour till she started talking to me again (the florist loves me right now). She called me to say I was insane. I told her about this thread and that I made a poll and everything. She laughed said I was hopeless and that she'll come over tonight so we can talk. So now I'm cooking a bunch of her favorite foods! I talked to her best friend today and it looks like Boomana was right. My gf was pissed off mostly because I didn't tell her about it first. So it seemed suspicious to her.

Wow, that's so cute. If I get a sex change, I'm so calling you for a date.

Good that you're active and forward in getting to talking with your girlfriend, I'm sure things will work out perfectly.

 

[jbloudg20]

Quote:

Originally Posted by swt61 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Now that sounds like a complete oxymoron to me. You state that you have 100% trust in your GF, but then you immediately state you'd be pissed if you found out she was getting tested. If you have 100% trust in her why would it bother you if she were getting tested? I think boomana's post was wise and insightful. While I completely agree with your decision to be tested regularly, I think she makes a great point about how you choose to handle the situation. Honesty is a two way street. In the 80's I did volunteer work for an AIDS awareness program in Alaska. I lost a close friend and wanted to learn all I could, and do my part to educate others. During this time period I saw dozens of people die from the virus. It's the most humiliating and cruel way I can think of to die, and there's nothing romantic about it. While medical research has made great strides in the last two decades, the threat is far from over. I see an alarming number of people, mostly younger that not only disregard the danger, but even flirt with it. I'm not advocating any kind of mistrust in your SO, but it's completely unnecessary to put your life at risk. Trust your spouse or lover, and treat them exactly as you'd like them to treat you. But regular testing doesn't have to be a condemnation of trust. Think of it as added insurance for the health of both you and your partner. Be completely honest about it, and try to make them see it as such.

Because we had a talk, and we both agree there is no reason to get tested unless someone has done something they shouldn't have. We were both umm. "wholesome" when we started dating. And I just talked to her regarding this issue. There is NO reason for us to get tested, unless someone cheated. I DON'T get tested because I trust her with my life. If she felt the need to get tested, then there is a problem there, and someone gets kicked to the curb

 

[FallenAngel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jbloudg20 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Because we had a talk, and we both agree there is no reason to get tested unless someone has done something they shouldn't have. We were both umm. "wholesome" when we started dating. And I just talked to her regarding this issue. There is NO reason for us to get tested, unless someone cheated. I DON'T get tested because I trust her with my life. If she felt the need to get tested, then there is a problem there, and someone gets kicked to the curb

Sure, like there has never been people that cheat and don't tell their partners. I'm not saying that you or your girlfriend are, but you do know that a very large amount of people do cheat and never tell their partner about it. Hell, I personally know 3 people that are married and cheat, and as for people that aren't married, don't even go there.

 

[stevenkelby]

Naive attitudes abound where trust with a loved one is concerned.

Also, as stated, cheating isn't the only way to get an STD. If you had contracted one in some non-cheating way would you want to pass it on to your wife/GF or would you want to find out about it before it's too late?

 

[Digitalbath3737]

I'm out the dog house! In fact I got her to see things from my point of view and she's setting up an appointment to go get tested this week. I have a way of digging myself into deep holes when I talk so I just cut on my computer and let her have a look at the thread. We discussed it for a few hours and then everything was all good. Afterwards I tried to get her interested in a pair of MS1s... that didn't go over to well.... can't win them all.

 

[Gautama]

Did you post this on ATOT too?

 

[ingwe]

Trust, but verify.