[aaroncort]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuberoller /img/forum/go_quote.gif BTW, some of my co-workers found my profile and had a stinking ball ribbing me. I get flack from that to this day. Also, my ex-wife saw it and attempted to make an issue of it in a child custody hearing. Beware and good luck

Good times.

That's what I fear most about having an online personals add. The vast majority of my friends fall into the "jack-off" category. If they found out I had an online profile or -gasp! met somebody online they'd bust my balls about it till kingdom come. I still get **** for have a myspace page for christ's sake.

 

[iGig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjg /img/forum/go_quote.gif your so mean, gosh!er Some of what i say is true, some of what i say is funny,i'll let u be the judge and figure that one out. None the less, dating is awful, and the art of the chase is usually less fun to most then the achivement of the goal. Online dating has its grim side, and yes I have seen it. Being a bachelor is fun if you are looking to get laid and are succesful at it... Yet nice guys finish last. If you feel otherwise, we can argue a bout it, but that's the consensus. I know people who have met their spouses online, very few of them. The generalization I'm making is a bit nasty, but look, i've gone on a ton of dates from girls I met online. It's a much smaller pond to swim in then people actually think. The anti-social nature of the internet compounds that as well... If you need to go online to meet people, then you are limited by the quality (and quantitiy) of people there. The scope is far narrower then reality.. P.S Though i make a guest appearance on here now and then, My ass in no way resembles the contour of my chair. I resemble that remark!! ; )

mjg: It’s true there’s a grim side to (online) dating, I’ve experienced it too. I wasted some time and effort meeting people who turned out to be wrong for me.

I know many women would have given up after any of these failed encounters, but being a romantic at heart, I still believed someone special was out there looking for me.
Every time I met the wrong guy I got a little disappointed but the more people I met the more I learned about myself, about the things I didn’t want and I asked better questions the next time.

I can tell you have a great sense of humor, you also sound witty and fun, I’m sure when the time is right you’ll come across that special lady who’s right for you. All I can say is that an optimistic attitude helps a lot, if you think dating is awful it will be…if you think it could be fun it may just be.

My best wishes to you… if you need help writing an ad let me know, I can make you sound like a superstar without lying too much.

 

[lwrs10]

met my wife on myspace.....been together for 2 years now......some people find that funny when i tell then that. but it is true you kinda get to know then a little better this way i think...

 

[JES]

I find that the most interesting women do not internet date. Not only that, but they don't even have internet access, nor do they have an email address. Seriously. If a girl isn't internet-savy, it eliminates a whole nonsensical subject from a long list of potentially wasted dialog (like the weather).

These girls are more focused on things like music (wow), their job, day-to-day life, their own appearance, etc. Instead of checking their email or updating their myspace, they go for walks or just "go out". I don't go into bars asking if a girl DOESN'T have an email address or anything like that, but knowing that a girl isn't "online" is a definite plus.

Now, I have tried Yahoo! Personals. About five years ago. I ended up meeting a girl. An elementary school teacher. The internet completely mis-led me. Had I spoken five words to this girl face to face, I would have ran away. Suffice it to say, I escaped that "fate worse than death" and haven't tried the online thing again since.

Being 37 years old (almost dead, I know), I've learned a few things, and I have no heartache trying to pick up girls the old-fashioned way. I also find that I'm the one getting picked up as often as the other way around (well, almost as often). You just don't get that same "thrill of the chase" feeling when you do it online.

Saying all this though, online or not, internet date or conventional, there's always gonna' be freaks out there. You have to be careful and watch out.

Whatever happened to the old truisms like "You Can't Judge a Book By Its Cover"? This seems to apply directly to online dating.

 

[plainsong]

Can you further explain your methodology in determining why men are allowed to "be online" while women are somehow less than if we know teh internets is not a series of tubes?

It sounds like the old double-standard regarding sexual intercourse, only being applied to computer usage. The wrongness of applying that double standard about sex aside, why the stretch to computer usage as well?

Is there anything else that's strickly in the realm of the blokes and off limits to women? I ask because, sometimes when you look at these irrational hang-ups, they answer questions as to what's wrong with your standards and why you can't find anyone.

As for mjg, he says nice guys finish last, but in neither of his two last posts did he sound like a particularly nice guy to go out with. Again, it doesn't sound like it's the computer that's the problem but rather the people using them.

What I mean is, the net, and the devices that plug into them, are just tools really. It's been said that you can't configure or op-amp roll the woman of your dreams. All it will help you do is find more names. That's it. The rest is up to you and her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JES /img/forum/go_quote.gif I find that the most interesting women do not internet date. Not only that, but they don't even have internet access, nor do they have an email address. Seriously. If a girl isn't internet-savy, it eliminates a whole nonsensical subject from a long list of potentially wasted dialog (like the weather). These girls are more focused on things like music (wow), their job, day-to-day life, their own appearance, etc. Instead of checking their email or updating their myspace, they go for walks or just "go out". I don't go into bars asking if a girl DOESN'T have an email address or anything like that, but knowing that a girl isn't "online" is a definite plus. Now, I have tried Yahoo! Personals. About five years ago. I ended up meeting a girl. An elementary school teacher. The internet completely mis-led me. Had I spoken five words to this girl face to face, I would have ran away. Suffice it to say, I escaped that "fate worse than death" and haven't tried the online thing again since. Being 37 years old (almost dead, I know), I've learned a few things, and I have no heartache trying to pick up girls the old-fashioned way. I also find that I'm the one getting picked up as often as the other way around (well, almost as often). You just don't get that same "thrill of the chase" feeling when you do it online. Saying all this though, online or not, internet date or conventional, there's always gonna' be freaks out there. You have to be careful and watch out. Whatever happened to the old truisms like "You Can't Judge a Book By Its Cover"? This seems to apply directly to online dating.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kool Bubba Ice When should you 'judge' someone.. My Friends GF's son been in & out of jail, has 5 kids from 5 different women, beats his GF's & pimps them out.. Should I jut wipe his slate clean & ingore his checkered past cause I shouldn't judge him..? My friend did that & he threatened to cut off a kittens head with a knife.. Had knife & cat in hand.. Sorry for the thread 'jacking'.. I just know the previous poster likes to throw the word judging around..

Are you on something or are you just trolling? It's not even remotely near the topic, my post was on topic, so if you have problem with me then add me to your ignore list.

Your post is so out in left field that common sense should apply here for the average person.

 

[luckybaer]

I do it all the time.

 

[iGig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JES /img/forum/go_quote.gif I find that the most interesting women do not internet date. Not only that, but they don't even have internet access, nor do they have an email address. Seriously. If a girl isn't internet-savy, it eliminates a whole nonsensical subject from a long list of potentially wasted dialog (like the weather). These girls are more focused on things like music (wow), their job, day-to-day life, their own appearance, etc. Instead of checking their email or updating their myspace, they go for walks or just "go out". I don't go into bars asking if a girl DOESN'T have an email address or anything like that, but knowing that a girl isn't "online" is a definite plus.Now, I have tried Yahoo! Personals. About five years ago. I ended up meeting a girl. An elementary school teacher. The internet completely mis-led me. Had I spoken five words to this girl face to face, I would have ran away. Suffice it to say, I escaped that "fate worse than death" and haven't tried the online thing again since. Being 37 years old (almost dead, I know), I've learned a few things, and I have no heartache trying to pick up girls the old-fashioned way. I also find that I'm the one getting picked up as often as the other way around (well, almost as often). You just don't get that same "thrill of the chase" feeling when you do it online. Saying all this though, online or not, internet date or conventional, there's always gonna' be freaks out there. You have to be careful and watch out. Whatever happened to the old truisms like "You Can't Judge a Book By Its Cover"? This seems to apply directly to online dating.

JES, I started bolding the parts of your post I wanted to comment on, until I noticed the whole thing is one big ironic contradiction!

How do you know that interesting girls don't internet date? or that they don't have an email address? Are you only interested in Amish ladies or girls who live in the remote jungle?
Funny how you're willing to meet girls in bars, as long as they don't use a computer. lol

You say you met one girl, didn't even spoke five words to her and now you generalize about all women with internet access?

The one thing I agree with you on is that there's a lot of freaks out there. I get the feeling you're almost providing a service by taking yourself off the internet market.

Quote:

Originally Posted by plainsong Rather offensive, jeez. How do you possibly know, or have the right to judge someone's story, or what mistakes they've made? Are you perfect? And yet, for as many men who brag about the notches in their bedposts, they must all be sleeping with the same girl, right? The minute you see a woman as a person like yourself is when you're ready to be in a real relationship. How unlucky for you if she turns out to have a kid. What will you do? Deny something wonderful, and be alone with your standards?

plainsong: you're also right about this. Having a child is not always a "mistake" and even if it was, it doesn't mean a person has lost the right to find love and be happy.
My husband has a daughter from his first marriage, he married very young and divorced. This doesn't make him a bad person, he's a responsible father, a good son and a wonderful husband. I'm glad I wasn't closed minded when I decided to go on a second date with him, even if the circumstances were different than I had envisioned.
Those looking for perfection should look in the mirror with a magnifying glass.

 

[Samgotit]

Quote:

Originally Posted by iGig /img/forum/go_quote.gif How do you know that interesting girls don't internet date? or that they don't have an email address? Are you only interested in Amish ladies or girls who live in the remote jungle?

Excuse me Giggy? I'm dating an Amish jungle woman thank you. There nothing hotter than a woman that can raise a barn while avoiding ripping the bone out of her nose.

 

[iGig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samgotit /img/forum/go_quote.gif Excuse me Giggy? I'm dating an Amish jungle woman thank you. There nothing hotter than a woman that can raise a barn while avoiding ripping the bone out of her nose.

Samgotit gottit! congratulations, she sounds perfect for you.

 

[JES]

What's the OP's title? They're asking for opinions, experiences, advice, etc.

Notice how my post starts: "I find". It's my experiences I'm speaking of.

I suppose I should have said "I find that the most interesting women to me don't internet date". This being a forum full of opinions and such, I figure that people would understand that the statement was related to me.

Regarding women not being allowed to be online, I never said anything of the sort. I did say that I find the more interesting ones aren't online. Again, "I". Only speaking for myself.

Anything else off limits? I didn't put any limits on, unless you think that I was speaking directly to you.

Irrational hang-ups? Can't find anyone? Whatever. I offered shared experience based on the OP's question.

Yes, I tried internet dating, and didn't like it enough to never do it again. My prerogative. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Regarding Amish or jungle women, that's just silly. The examples of girls that come to my mind that I've met have been very physically fit, well read and excellent conversationalists, amongst other things. They're just not into internet dating or using the internet as heavily as others as a form of communication.

"Funny how you're willing to meet girls in bars, as long as they don't use a computer. lol" Well, this is absolutely not what I said. Here's what I said: "I don't go into bars asking if a girl DOESN'T have an email address or anything like that". Did you read my post carefully?

I knew that my post would stir things up a bit. But I really was amazed that I've met some very interesting women lately (interesting to me) who just don't bother with the internet. I wanted to share that.

And iGig. Your last words regarding freaks is not necessary. It's offensive.

 

[Nightfall]

Very well said, plainsong,

I had planned much the same post, but coming from a woman, it's far more effective. Dolts abound.

JC


Quote:

Originally Posted by plainsong /img/forum/go_quote.gif Rather offensive, jeez. How do you possibly know, or have the right to judge someone's story, or what mistakes they've made? Are you perfect? And yet, for as many men who brag about the notches in their bedposts, they must all be sleeping with the same girl, right? The minute you see a woman as a person like yourself is when you're ready to be in a real relationship. How unlucky for you if she turns out to have a kid. What will you do? Deny something wonderful, and be alone with your standards? I think playing the field with single moms is a bad idea because she has to provide a stable home for her child. If you're not prepared to explore that idea, then stay the fark away and don't string her and the child along. But as for your reasoning, two thumbs down.

 

[XM DUDE]

If I had to resort to Internet dating, I might as well kill myself if my life got that bad.

 

[aaroncort]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjg /img/forum/go_quote.gif online dating is so awesome. Nothing like spending 45-60 dollars a month to meet a wacked out really weird girl if your lucky. You get a good look at thier picture, think they are so awesome, yet when you meet them in person, your lucky enough to find out they have a snaggle tooth, or maybe, just maybe she might have a panic attack in front of you? Happy times. Atleast you got to spend a week of time on the phone with her first, and so lucky enough to buy a $100 dollar dinner. Alll good stuff to do with a stranger. Women are horrible beasts No one really wants a girlfriend when they do online dating. It's an act of desperation. Women who do online dating meanwhile are just try to indulge their vanity by finding these hopeless fools who send them dozen of messages just and pick and chose the ones who are good enough to stroke their ego before the indecisive lady decides that internet dating is just really, too weird for her also. (just a joke... maybe)

In a strange backwards way he does show you what kind of nut jobs you can find online. You could've wound up on a date with this dude!

Just a joke naturally.

 

[AC1]

Six years ago when I started in retail, for the girls I have talked to, internet dating was kind of looked down upon and did not seem a viable option for meeting decent people.

In the past year or two, the girls I talk to are way more open to it, even to the point of encouraging it. One thing that I am sure that has opened it up is myspace, where really I see girls use that as a extension of their social tools which also kind of opens them to finding, meeting people over the internet. I hear many more stories about them having initial contact over the internet whether it is to meet friends or date. Again 5-6 years ago, I never really heard any internet stories.

 

[courierdriver]

WOW! Is this thread ever gettin' hot! I've got no beefs with internet dating, other than the fact that it didn't work for me. Four years ago, I bought a computer for 2-reasons:

1) To get a storage medium for music downloads, in hopes of replenishing a flood-damaged music library.

2) To find someone to share my life with.

After 3-years of separation from my ex-wife, and awaiting the finalization of my divorce (not to mention the fact that the so-called "angel" who I worked with, and who played me... decided to abandon me in favour of someone 13-years her senior); resulted in my decision to explore other dating avenues. So, I turned to the internet.

After 6-months (and $150 in membership fees later) on Lavalife, I thought I had finally found the one. She was hot, seemed classy, separated for almost a year, and had 3-kids. We chatted online for 3-months, and seemed to establish alot in common, before we eventually met. The first night we met, it was on a Saturday-night, and I was working at my part-time job. Due to our opposing work-schedules; I had invited her to come in, to meet in a public place, with no pressure; and a chance to get to know each other for a bit, on a face-to-face basis. After my shift ended (and we had spent about 3-hours in each-others' company), I asked her if she wanted to come back to my apartment for a drink, and a bite to eat. She said yes...and that's the night when things went a bit farther than they should have

.

Next thing you know, I was meeting her teenaged kids, brother, her mom...and entertaining the idea of sharing living-accomodations with her, and her kids. I really thought she was cool...not to mention, the sex was totally amazing (best I'd ever had, in what was at that time, 37 years on this planet!). I spent alot of $$ and time, treating her like a queen in the 3-months that followed.

After we had been dating for a couple of weeks, we discussed it; and we both agreed to remove our profiles from Lava and other dating sites. Well...I removed mine, anyhow.

Next thing you know, she's telling me how she was chatting with one of her male buddies on Lava; then she started cancelling our previously arranged plans...and she's spending alot of "alone-time" with her ex. I went back to Lava, only to find she never did take herself off the market...only I did. Guess she was keeping her options open

?

It took a few close, platonic, female friends to clue me into what was going on. I was bein' played, and I never realized it

That was 3-years ago. I got a cat out of it all (her cat had kittens, so I took one, a month before I split with her). I also got alot more than that. The experience made me become more aware of what I wanted in life... and what I didn't want. I became more aware of myself, and what I really wanted was to keep my independence. I spent almost 10 years, in what my ex used to call "a marriage of convenience".

Truth is, the whole experience taught me somethin' about myself: I enjoy my freedom. I work 6-days/week; and as such, feel I'm entitled to some enjoyment after my bills (and my kid-responsibilities are met) to come home to my modest 1-bedroom apartment. I work, so I can provide for my kids and myself. I'm not a people-person; even though, for some reason, I keep getting employed in such fields. I (like I'm sure many others do), do what it takes, without complaint, to keep my head above water.

After WAY too-many years of looking after others, I feel it's finally time for some ME-time. I'm still registered on a few dating websites, but to be truthful, I'd like to post an ad that reads like this:

"Non-violent,muscular, well-groomed (and yummy-smelling), good-looking, 30-ish looking, 40-yr-old- male (desease-free) pot and cigarette-smoking, alcoholic; seeking a single, 25-37-yr-old female, fixed and desease free screw-buddy; with a slim to average build...with a height of 5'0-5'7, 100-150-lbs. Must live within 60-miles of my postal-code, in my own country". MUST adhere to the above requirements (no-exceptions), and expect no-commitments". Credit-cards NOT accepted...only Paypal, with balance/bank-account transfer...(not that I expect you or I to pay for mutual enjoyment)

If there are no ladies who meet the above criteria, that are interested...well, I guess I'd just rather stay single...and I salute you, "Stone Cold Steve Austin", style! I really am happy with my life, but like anyone who is a member(or lurker) here...upgraditis DOES hit us all. LOL!