[dazzer1975]

don't let her get her cheating grubby hands on a single penny of that 45k. If you have to blow it do it, if you have to give it to a family member do it, but screw the bitch as hard as she is probably hoping to financially screw you with the settlement.

 

[atbglenn]

Conner, sorry to hear man. I don't even know what to say to make you feel better. But if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you.

Glenn

 

[XxATOLxX]

You should eat an entire tub of ice cream.



Seriously, try to enjoy better things in life. Chicago pizza comes to mind.

 

[mrarroyo]

In addition to the recommendations by Uncle Erik (post 21) I will recommend to call all your creditors (credit card companies and banks) to cancel any CC you had issued in her name. Also go to the bank(s) and if you have any joint accounts see about canceling her ability to draw from it, if you can not remove her ability to draw money then take all the money out and place it on a separate account in your name only.

Terribly sorry you are going through this, but as stated by many it is better now than 10 years down the line w/ kids and larger debts.

 

[Eagle Eye]

WOW Pepsi that really is a shocker. You have received alot of advice from alot of folks and most of it is pretty good. First is to see a Lawyer and get it started, and second is to secure your funds. There are so many things in life we have no control over and when I am confronted with one of them I always find some solace in the Serenity Prayer. It may help for you too:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can
and the Wisdom to know the difference"

Good luck buddy and go have some fun. Better now than 10 years down the road with 4 kids. Now you can have some empathy for the poor guy she is going to end up with, LOL.

 

[Zodduska]

Sorry to hear that Pepsi, take it easy and try to have some fun while you are in the city.

 

[justhavingfun]

I am truly so sorry to hear your situation but like so many others have already said, it is better to know this early rather than later with kids. That will make things much more difficult. I don't have any specific suggestion to help you out but just wanted to give my support for your situation. Cheer up, much better future will be waiting for you. Meanwhile, happy listening!

 

[Roger Strummer]

I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you Pepsi (it makes me sad to hear when this things happen

). I wish you the best, others have offered better advice than what I could have about your situation like Uncle Erik, but I can offer you these words that have helped me through the hard times, all that you need is in your soul (or inside you in case you don't believe in a soul). Time will pass and you will feel better.

All the best

Dante

 

[9pintube]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrarroyo /img/forum/go_quote.gif In addition to the recommendations by Uncle Erik (post 21) I will recommend to call all your creditors (credit card companies and banks) to cancel any CC you had issued in her name. Also go to the bank(s) and if you have any joint accounts see about canceling her ability to draw from it, if you can not remove her ability to draw money then take all the money out and place it on a separate account in your name only. Terribly sorry you are going through this, but as stated by many it is better now than 10 years down the line w/ kids and larger debts.

Great additional and important advice mrarroyo........Do IT PEPSI,

 

[joomongj]

You have my condolences pepsi. Chin up and like others said waste no time on getting the legal stuff processed. The more you wait the more likely you will go out on a limb so don't take any chances. They say the deep sea can be fathomed, but who knows the hearts of men?

 

[GreatDane]

I'm sorry to see this bad news but you WILL get through this and be stronger in the end. It's good to see so many people giving support...what a great community here.

 

[wavoman]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wali /img/forum/go_quote.gif ... it happened and there is nothing you could or can do about it. Focus on rebuilding your life...

I want to x2 that. Don't for one second think this reflects on you -- your worth, your desirability, or anything like that. Don't sift thru various negative thoughts -- there's no place for "maybe I spent too much time with headphones and didn't pay her enough attention" ... no way! That's clear from the sensitivity of your writings, and the fact that she didn't reach out to you and try to solve anything, she just trashed a relatively new marriage.

This is about her, and on her. She was not the person you thought -- it happens.

I don't know if my first wife cheated on me or not, but I caught her taking her wedding ring off every day when she got in her car to go to work, and putting it back on in our driveway, so that was enough for me: I left.

Here's the thing -- it was for the best. I am so unbelievably happy in my second marriage, now going on 15 years. My (current) wife and I are true soulmates, and I would not have understood any of this if it were not for my first marriage. BTW, I stayed single for a long time after my divorce, and that's probably a good idea. No rebound emotions, etc.

Best of luck -- my prediction is you will have many happy days ahead.

 

[Uncle Erik]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi /img/forum/go_quote.gif Don't worry, i may be depressed to a point where it's unimaginable, i keep it rational. I still have a great career that i worked so hard to build, there's plenty of things i want to do, including having children. If i died if would be like killing them. God, this city is beautiful, on top of that, so are the women. Thank god for head-fi, your words are so inspirational and makes me want to move on that much further. My "hitting on chicks skills" are pretty rusty, after almost 7 years of commitment one can only imagine. This is definitely my first goal to work on. And thanks again guys, i can't do it enough to show my gratitude.

Get out there. Forget about the "hitting on" part. Just start conversations. You'll either end up with a new girlfriend or set up with one of her friends. It'll happen.

So get out there and start talking. Ask questions - that usually gets things started. One surefire question is to ask women where a good restaurant is. I don't care how well you know the area, asking "hey, do you know a good place to eat around here?" always gets a response. It comes across as innocent and everyone loves to talk about food. And it gives you a perfect opportunity to ask if she wants to come along.

 

[Ypoknons]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi /img/forum/go_quote.gif Don't worry, i may be depressed to a point where it's unimaginable, i keep it rational. I still have a great career that i worked so hard to build, there's plenty of things i want to do, including having children. If i died if would be like killing them.

That's right buddy. Do it.

 

[Happy Camper]

Pepsi,

Been there. The hard part is all the asskicking you'll do to yourself. There are good people in the world, prepare yourself for the day you find yours. Until then, choose your friends well and protect yourself until you're ready to get back in the game. Oh, don't go to self abuse, there's no bottom and way too much work digging out. Remember who you are and be true to your self.