Cake
100+ Head-Fier
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2006
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Quote:
I agree for the most part. The thing to remember is that a FIRST date is different from any other date. And not in the way that most guys think it is! Don't do anything that remotely smacks of formality, of being a "Date" in the stereotypical sense of the term. A first date should be very, very casual, and just centered on the two of you talking. And it should be short; plan for an hour.
I agree that dinner is a BAD idea, but I disagree that coffee is anywhere near as bad. A coffee date is perfect for a first date. There's absolutely no need to go out and DO something. He doesn't need to catch this girl's attention; they're already friends. This first date is a chance to spend some time together and talk, while subconsciously getting used to the idea that you're out together as more-than-friends, and judging briefly (on both sides) whether you're compatible in this more-than-friends way or not. Just alternately listen to her talk about her problems and then tease her about them... it's an irresistable combination.
I would say save the "creative date ideas" until the second date, and for the first just go and get some coffee together at a set time.
Originally Posted by mrplow /img/forum/go_quote.gif 
A few simple things, learned from guys much more successful than me with women. 1. If you don't know her very well, set a time constraint on the first date- it'll make it better for the both of you. Make plans with friends afterwards, and tell her for ex., "I have some plans with my friends around 10 pm (or whatever), but we can hang out until then." I know, sounds counterintuitive- but trust me, in case things don't flow or click, it'll make things much easier for you and her knowing that you're tied to some indefinite time period. It also lets her know that you have a definite social life outside her (very important). 2. I disagree with taking a girl out to dinner for the first date. I'm going to be harsh here, but it's boring and it's what almost EVERY SINGLE GUY before her has done. I'll concede that if she's just in her teens, then because she doesn't have a lot of dating experience it may be ok. But by the time an attractive woman is in her 20s she's been on over a hundred of those boring (so what do you do, what are your hobbies, how's your family, etc zzzzz) dinner dates. A coffee date is almost as bad, but at least you can just use it as meeting place before skipping out to a new location. Instead, find a place where the focus will not just be on you and her. In other words, don't put yourself in a situation where you are entirely reliant on the conversation as being the only source of interaction in the room. Especially when that awkward silence comes... yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Rather, go someplace that has a 3rd source of interaction, something you can both take part in or even just discuss (rather than having to sit around and talk about yourselves for 2 hours). Even something really simple like going to the (Southwick 
3. Finally, don't calibrate yourself to her interests. What do you enjoy doing? So many guys out there (I was one of them) try to find something the girl likes and plan a whole evening around it (her favorite restaurant, favorite band, etc.). Bad, bad, bad. Always lead (and I'm not saying be aggressive, forceful, or an *******) and be decisive. Open her up to a new experience. Use the date to show her that you're inviting her to a certain part of YOUR LIFESTYLE. Take her to someplace special she can only experience with you, and not with her friends. If she's a punk/skater/artsy type, take her to something physical or athletic. And vice versa. If she expresses dislike about, for example, your taste in music, your favorite food, your hobbies, etc. don't start apologizing or changing your opinions to try and win points (you're actually losing points if you do). Instead react the same way you'd treat a best friend- tease her about it, and say something like "Oh yeah? That's too bad because now you and I will never work out" with a sly grin on your face. Again, seems counterintuitive, but trust me- it works. I could go on for much longer, but I don't know if I want to give away all the secrets of the trade.
Anyways dude, best of luck, and let us know how it turns out. |
I agree for the most part. The thing to remember is that a FIRST date is different from any other date. And not in the way that most guys think it is! Don't do anything that remotely smacks of formality, of being a "Date" in the stereotypical sense of the term. A first date should be very, very casual, and just centered on the two of you talking. And it should be short; plan for an hour.
I agree that dinner is a BAD idea, but I disagree that coffee is anywhere near as bad. A coffee date is perfect for a first date. There's absolutely no need to go out and DO something. He doesn't need to catch this girl's attention; they're already friends. This first date is a chance to spend some time together and talk, while subconsciously getting used to the idea that you're out together as more-than-friends, and judging briefly (on both sides) whether you're compatible in this more-than-friends way or not. Just alternately listen to her talk about her problems and then tease her about them... it's an irresistable combination.
I would say save the "creative date ideas" until the second date, and for the first just go and get some coffee together at a set time.
