First Date Ideas....

[Contrastique]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pne /img/forum/go_quote.gif glad to hear it worked out for you, you certainly do wonder sometimes how your best friend would work as a SO..

Thank you. i am glad it worked out well (so far). Hope it will work out for you as well in the future. When you are not looking or the least interested....well, you know what they say.
Stupid question maybe but what exactly is a SO????

 

[NoValidTitle]

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Originally Posted by Contrastique /img/forum/go_quote.gif Stupid question maybe but what exactly is a SO????

Significant Other

 

[AC1]

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Originally Posted by NoValidTitle /img/forum/go_quote.gif She is fully aware it is a date, I sucked it up and spit out the fact that I liked her (no not in a desperate/looking for attention way).

Excellent. The less you "need" the easier it will be but owning up to it is improtant for it to go anywhere.

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Originally Posted by NoValidTitle /img/forum/go_quote.gif Just trying to figure out what pace to move things at is tough. There are little things like the fact that I never get the chance to initiate a conversation with her online. She signs on or I return from away and she messages me within the minute, or she will message me and say "oh I've got to run but I want to talk to you later." She has also begun to open up to me a little with her being worried about her future and such.

I wouldn't sweat the timing. You seem to have a lot of connection with her. So you are more than on your way, just don't drop the ball by being needy or jealous etc. Usually I would say if she is opening up to you about problems and you have not made your intentions known, that is a big red flag of going into friend zone (I'm not even going to go into my stories). But if you guys are on the same page, she is trying to build a connection, of course I would still be careful, since if you become her emotional dumping ground that isn't good either.

Well good luck, sounds like you have a lot of stuff planned.

 

[NoValidTitle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AC1 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Usually I would say if she is opening up to you about problems and you have not made your intentions known, that is a big red flag of going into friend zone (I'm not even going to go into my stories).

Yeah I have been in that boat too. I would wave the same red flag you speak of if I didn't own up about being attracted to her and her being okay with that. In a separate conversation she mentioned that she doesn't lead people on or date someone out of pity so I at least know shes serious about trying for something good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AC1 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well good luck, sounds like you have a lot of stuff planned.

Thanks, its needed!!

 

[pne]

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Originally Posted by NoValidTitle /img/forum/go_quote.gif But it is tough to set the pace as she doesn't want to rush into anything, shes over her ex since he ended up being the rebound so I'm not worried about that portion.

this might not apply to you but some advice for any other head-fiers looking for dating advice on this thread. How a girl treats her ex's, and how her last relationship went is probably the most important part of all. If it was a messy breakup and she got revenge, or if she drops a serious boyfriend to date you instead, there are some very clear signals going on about her personality.

My ex fiance and I met at a party and I started making moves on her while she still had a boyfriend. (I didn't know at the time) Well she ended up dumping her boyfriend of 2 years and started to date me instead. Didn't give him any explanations, just broke up with him one day and shut him out of her life. Well I didn't really care at the time, also being an insecure teenager I didn't want him in the picture either. I thought I knew her pretty well and what she was capable of, and was genuinely convinced she was a good person. Lo and behold one day a few years later she dumps me for another guy she met at a party... Sometimes the writings on the wall..

 

[NoValidTitle]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pne /img/forum/go_quote.gif this might not apply to you but some advice for any other head-fiers looking for dating advice on this thread. How a girl treats her ex's, and how her last relationship went is probably the most important part of all. If it was a messy breakup and she got revenge, or if she drops a serious boyfriend to date you instead, there are some very clear signals going on about her personality. My ex fiance and I met at a party and I started making moves on her while she still had a boyfriend. (I didn't know at the time) Well she ended up dumping her boyfriend of 2 years and started to date me instead. Didn't give him any explanations, just broke up with him one day and shut him out of her life. Well I didn't really care at the time, also being an insecure teenager I didn't want him in the picture either. I thought I knew her pretty well and what she was capable of, and was genuinely convinced she was a good person. Lo and behold one day a few years later she dumps me for another guy she met at a party... Sometimes the writings on the wall..

Yeah I made sure I got the details on my situation before moving in. Not the ex she just broke up with but the previous one she was with physically abused her, so that ended that. Her most recent ex who was also in NH with us ended up being her rebound from the abusive guy. After a month his true colors came out and he started being an ******* so she wanted nothing to do with it.

 

[Jahn]

I just stumbled across this thread. You both live in CT? Try a commute into Times Square for a daytrip. You guys can have solid chat time on the train there and back, and while there, there are tons of places you can chill, like the basement cafe of the Virgin Megastore, and show off your mad piano skills at Sam Ash on 48th Street, maybe even catch a matinee of Avenue Q for some nervous giggling when the puppets get it on

All of this is indoors, which is good because it looks like snow. Times Square in the snow - that's nice!

 

[1911]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jahn /img/forum/go_quote.gif I just stumbled across this thread. You both live in CT? Try a commute into Times Square for a daytrip. You guys can have solid chat time on the train there and back, and while there, there are tons of places you can chill, like the basement cafe of the Virgin Megastore, and show off your mad piano skills at Sam Ash on 48th Street, maybe even catch a matinee of Avenue Q for some nervous giggling when the puppets get it on All of this is indoors, which is good because it looks like snow. Times Square in the snow - that's nice!

that is the most otaku date i ever heard...sheesh man...do you always think like a 12 year old girl?

 

[bhd812]

dude take her to one of those bars that have a mechanical bull....

i am sorry i am so joking..

 

[roastpuff]

Just to chime in on this thread... I'm going on my first-EVER date next weekend. (Hopefully. It was supposed to be this weekend, but she is going with some friends to their island house in the Georgia Strait. Yes, she mentioned it before I asked her out - I don't think it's a copout, but a perfectly legitimate trip.) I asked her whether she wanted to see a movie, and she said yes! For those of you who were here last year... this is a big improvement for me from that prom thread.

I didn't see movies mentioned in this thread besides NoPistons saying in passing that it was undesirable. Can I get the reasoning behind this, and any possible methods to counter the disadvantages? Should I attempt to change the plan?

The feel of this 'date' is real casual, as I only mentioned 'a movie' and nothing else like dinner etc... good or bad? From what I got from reading the thread, it is a good thing.

As for the friend factor... we met in Econ class, and in Poli-sci tutorials before that. We've never hung out outside of class before - only chatted before and after classes for a few minutes. I've known her since of start of the school year, but only started talking more often after I found her in my Econ class in Term 2 (Jan). Otherwise, it's Facebook.

EDIT: Feeling neurotic. Never had this happen with any girl before. Of course, never had a date before either... Argh. *sigh* I think it might be the fact that I lack experience and that she's older than I am so I 'think' that she has more experience and is expectin more - of course, I could be deluding myself and on the road to screwing up. Argh.

 

[AC1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by roastpuff /img/forum/go_quote.gif Just to chime in on this thread... I'm going on my first-EVER date next weekend. (Hopefully. It was supposed to be this weekend, but she is going with some friends to their island house in the Georgia Strait. Yes, she mentioned it before I asked her out - I don't think it's a copout, but a perfectly legitimate trip.) I asked her whether she wanted to see a movie, and she said yes! For those of you who were here last year... this is a big improvement for me from that prom thread.

Ah yes, the prom thread, well it is good that you are taking the initiative.

Quote:

Originally Posted by roastpuff /img/forum/go_quote.gif I didn't see movies mentioned in this thread besides NoPistons saying in passing that it was undesirable. Can I get the reasoning behind this, and any possible methods to counter the disadvantages? Should I attempt to change the plan? The feel of this 'date' is real casual, as I only mentioned 'a movie' and nothing else like dinner etc... good or bad? From what I got from reading the thread, it is a good thing.

Well if you are trying to work on a deeper relationship, going to the movies is tough for that since you can't talk. I would say for a first date ever, going to the movies isn't that bad, you could end up suggesting something simple to do afterwards.

Quote:

Originally Posted by roastpuff /img/forum/go_quote.gif EDIT: Feeling neurotic. Never had this happen with any girl before. Of course, never had a date before either... Argh. *sigh* I think it might be the fact that I lack experience and that she's older than I am so I 'think' that she has more experience and is expectin more - of course, I could be deluding myself and on the road to screwing up. Argh.

Just relax, she has already agreed so there is some kind of value she is seeing in you. I mean really how much is she expecting? You are thinking way too much about expectations and the outcome. Thinking to much about impressing her will a lot of the times make you come off as a try-hard which generally kills attraction. I doubt that is why she agreed to go out with you in the first place, you probably acted more casual when you asked her out. Really have fun. This is the best time for it, you have plenty of time to go out with people and make things more complicated.

 

[gates_2]

Had a date with a girl a couple of weeks ago.. took her to hear Murray Perahia. Things went OK, just wasn't feeling a good vibe from her....I don't think she appreciated it as much as I did...

I'd have to agree with what people above have said. First dates are best where you can talk.

but thats ok.. it was one of those nights where I went to bed very happy(Perahia's performance was, of course, beyond words)

 

[pne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by roastpuff /img/forum/go_quote.gif I didn't see movies mentioned in this thread besides NoPistons saying in passing that it was undesirable. Can I get the reasoning behind this, and any possible methods to counter the disadvantages? Should I attempt to change the plan?

reasoning is you cant talk to each other much during a movie, can't make eye contact, can't get to know the other person. If you're going to do the movie, take her out for coffee or something afterwards so you can chat. All else fails you can talk about how good/bad the movie was!

 

[roastpuff]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AC1 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well if you are trying to work on a deeper relationship, going to the movies is tough for that since you can't talk. I would say for a first date ever, going to the movies isn't that bad, you could end up suggesting something simple to do afterwards. Just relax, she has already agreed so there is some kind of value she is seeing in you. I mean really how much is she expecting? You are thinking way too much about expectations and the outcome. Thinking to much about impressing her will a lot of the times make you come off as a try-hard which generally kills attraction. I doubt that is why she agreed to go out with you in the first place, you probably acted more casual when you asked her out. Really have fun. This is the best time for it, you have plenty of time to go out with people and make things more complicated.

Yeah, I suggested movies so that if things turn out sour... there's an easy way out. Also because it made for easy chit-chat fodder - a good fallback.

I realize that I am being paranoid and edging over to the 'try-hard' area... *sigh* Just hard to stop thinking about what's 'expected' of me and what I 'need to do' in order to impress her.

Haha... make stuff more complicated.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pne /img/forum/go_quote.gif reasoning is you cant talk to each other much during a movie, can't make eye contact, can't get to know the other person. If you're going to do the movie, take her out for coffee or something afterwards so you can chat. All else fails you can talk about how good/bad the movie was!

Hehe, very true. I am probably going to suggest dessert after - I know of several good confectioneries/gelato places in Vancouver that we could go to...

 

[Computerpro3]

Roastpuff, the more chill you are the more she will like you. Being neurotic is a big turn off in my experience (been there, done that on my first few dates).