[darkangel9685]

So I finally popped the question last month to my wonderful (now) fiancee! We'll just say firetrucks were involved

 
 
Anyways, it's been an amazing 6 weeks or so, and now it's sinking in that we gotta start planning this shin-dig
 
church & venue permitting, we're going for September 14, 2012....which happens to be 10 years to the day of when we first started dating
 
I have no idea what i'm doing here, it's all new to me! What can i expect? anything i should avoid? Should this be in the DIY section?

 

[jpelg]

Practice this phrase: "Yes, dear. Whatever you want."
 
Seriously, this is a high-stress time for your relationship, and it often involves other people that are close to you. Just be there for your fiance whenever, & in whatever capacity, she needs. Don't lose sight of why you are getting married. It's about the two of you, first & foremost. Everything else (and everyone) is secondary.
 
Congrats, and best of luck!

 

[LFF]

Quote:

Practice this phrase: "Yes, dear. Whatever you want."
 

BEST ADVICE!!! 

 

 

[Equus]

Quote:

Practice this phrase: "Yes, dear. Whatever you want."

LOL!  Never been married myself, but watched my good friends go through their "official" wedding then plan the wedding where everyone is around.  I think they've only had two really good fights, and one of them was during the entire wedding planning part because of the stress, so sounds like jpelg is spot on.
 
Congratulations! 

 

[mrarroyo]

It is all about "she who must be obeyed" who by the way will always be right.

 She will through in your face issues from years ago. 

 You will also always loose so do not fight, either accept or do not throw away your "little black book"! 

 

[El_Doug]

Best stress-saving advice I can give you, which worked for me and my wife:  avoid the giant "invite everyone" wedding, skip the overpriced cheesy reception, and make the event as non-serious as possible.  we:  
 
- invited a grand total of 10 people
- treated them to a proper dinner, hence avoiding overpriced and poor quality hotel food
- only the immediate family was invited, thus removing all stress from "why wasnt I invited!?" nonsense
- never had to deal with seating arrangements, +1's, table settings, etc. 
- wrote up the wedding ceremony ourselves, and had a civil celebrant perform the ceremony
 
 
this is the best move you'll ever make - we had the time of our lives.  the day really was about us, instead of a day stressing out over making sure everything went to plan

 

[smrtby123]

I am in the same boat, and have been picking between venues for like 3 months now lol.  I think I have seen every outside venue in the tri-state area.  The best advice I have from here is it is not so bad to get involved with certain things.  Linens and color patterns, etc I don't give a crap but I wanted to be involved in the place and the food (especially since I am paying for it).  It def makes it much better when you want to tag along since you are going whether you like it or not. 
 
Just make sure you are both on the same page for budget lol.

 

[cj3209]

OK, here's some advice since you asked (always good to have different viewpoints):
 
Pre-Wedding:
- SET A BUDGET and stick to it.  
- SET PRIORITIES.  
- Adjust and COMPROMISE.  
- Although the wedding is (of course) about the both of you, remember that you're involving a lot of family and friends and you want them there to celebrate with you.  KEEP THE PEACE.
 
Post-Wedding:
- NEVER EVER go to bed without resolving an argument or fight.  Going to bed angry does something to one's soul - negatively.
- NEVER EVER LET YOUR PASSION for one another dwindle.  I still get excited when my wife is curled up in our bed or when she's clowning around...  
 
My two cents from over 15 years of being happily married.

Best of luck to you.
 
CJ
 

 

[momomo6789]

w/e you decide is your budget prepare to spend at least 30% more then that /crying for you. also 10 years, kinda waited a while tax breaks were well worth it to do it sooner.

 

[immtbiker]

Wedding budgets are just like audio budgets.
Plan to spend what you can afford and then double it!

 

[Uncle Erik]

Well, I haven't been married. Been engaged twice. And I've divorced a bunch of people. Anyhow, go get your estate planning in order. You'll want, at the least, simple wills set up. This is usually inexpensive. You might want to go a step further and take out term life insurance policies then have "pour-over" trusts set up that will be funded by the life insurance proceeds. It's a smart way to provide for a young family if the worst happens. Next, take a look at your tax situation. You may or may not benefit from filing jointly, but check out your options. Financially, look into the possibilities of joint bank accounts, merging credit files, and that sort of thing. Finally, you might want to consider a prenup. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but when you've been on the other side of the coin, it is a rational move. They can be set up fairly and equitably, no one has to get screwed. Further, done correctly, one can save you five or six figures in litigation costs. As for relationship advice... you should probably listen to someone else.

 

[immtbiker]

I can get you a great deal at the Adria. It has everything that you need. Starbucks, Burger King, and in case things go horribly wrong, you only have to walk 10 block to the Long Island RR. for a fast getaway!
 
All kidding aside, forget about Starbucks and Burger King and keep your options open for the Long Island RR quick getaway.

 

[JxK]

x2 on El_Doug and Uncle Erik's advice.  Very wise and pertinent guidance.
 
My own advice is to avoid any excessive drinking. You want to celebrate of course, but I doubt the wife wants her wedding memories spoiled by having to clean up after you. Not to mention the negative effects alcohol can have on any post-wedding amorous activities.

 
Other than that, please let me share with you the Wisdom of the Ages: Elvis has no place at a wedding (or anywhere else for that matter).

 

[immtbiker]

It's not a wedding for you, it's for everyone else. All I can remember is, smiling and shaking everyone's hand and getting
kissed on the cheek all day long. You don't even remember your own wedding. Mine was just a giant blur. Every time,
you finally get a drink, or a plate of food, someone is pulling you in one direction or another. 
 
My wedding started when the wheels touched down on the runways of Montego Bay and I found all my luggage had made
it. I don't think that we actually got to drink more than a sip from any one glass of alcohol during the celebration.
 
My wife and I lived together before the wedding and by the time we got home, kicked off our ridiculously uncomfortable 
rented shoes at least mine were rented with the Tux), and packed for the flight to Jamaica the next day, we fell asleep
before we even got to consummate the marriage. 

 
Good times. It was better the second time around, though.

 

[darkangel9685]

already ran into a roadblock!
 
The church we're planning to get married at is giving us problems b/c i received psychological counseling. (Yes i admitted to it, I'm not ashamed of it like most people are)
 
So now the priest has to check with the higher ups in the the church buerocracy to see if its okay to marry, and they want to peek at my records apparently.
 
I hate drama