[Opening Lines]

Michael Caine playing Homer: "I'm having a bit of trouble with this character here. Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological impairment, like Rain Man, or Awakenings? I mean, what the bloody hell am I doing here!"

Homer: "Haha, you got the dud! Look at him! He looks like you, Poindexter!" (he points and laughs at Milhouse)
Bart: "Beh. How come Lisa gets to hang out with her friends?"
Homer: "You got friends, you got the dud right here. Stand up for yourself, poindexter!" (He shoves Milhouse)

 

[wakeride74]

Homer - "Butter your bacon"
Lisa - "But dad my heart hurts"
Homer "Butter it..."

 

[VicAjax]

You smell like dead bunnies.

 

[ericj]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rb67 /img/forum/go_quote.gif The goggles... they do nothing!

This is the most frequently misquoted Simpsons line.

What Rainier Wolfcastle said was: "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlendaleViper /img/forum/go_quote.gif Captain McAlister: "D'yarr and these nudie magazines will keep my crew from resorting to rampant homosexuality... ehhhh for a little while, anyway."

What Horatio said was "They'll keep my men from resortin' to homosexuality.... For about ten minutes! Harr, harr, harr!"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prozakk /img/forum/go_quote.gif "I must had it set to person"- Homer, after firing the double barrel shotgun makeup applicator.

No, no, no. After homer fires his makeup gun, marge says "Homer! You've got it set on 'whore'!"

fwiw, the closed-captions for that episode say "hooker".

Quote:

Originally Posted by wakeride74 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Homer - "Butter your bacon" Lisa - "But dad my heart hurts" Homer "Butter it..."

Nope! "Bacon up that sausage, boy!"

 

[ericj]

I may as well add at least one.

"Ha Ha! Flupid Bloroplope!"

 

[jimmyl930]

Homer to Lisa after she makes a perpetual motion machine

"Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

 

[evanl]

Homer: Lurleen, I can't get your song out of my mind. I haven't felt this way since Funky Town!