BillsonChang007
Headphoneus Supremus
All the best Billson
But can we please go back to the topic of worst date stories. Happy lovey-dovey things makes me
Thanks
All the best Billson
But can we please go back to the topic of worst date stories. Happy lovey-dovey things makes me
haha I thought the same way, I'm not good normally in person but with the right person it just, well, works.I'm absolutely horrid with being intimate in any fashion in a face to face conversation
I find myself not able to communicate with some people because of my "social" I find myself having hard time speaking to people who swears, people who say modern words like "So.I.Am.Gay", people who is overly active, and people who don't start the conversation
Hi guys, um, kind of don't want to spam or throw things off topic, but if anyof you guys feel like you just need a place to uh, release your anger, I made a thread by the name of the Mental Release Thread (redundtant I know), heres a link to it http://www.head-fi.org/t/708920/the-mental-release-thread
In any case I decided to try dating over the internet and it has sort of left me sad, so uh yeah heres a story about it
Hi guys, um, kind of don't want to spam or throw things off topic, but if anyof you guys feel like you just need a place to uh, release your anger, I made a thread by the name of the Mental Release Thread (redundtant I know), heres a link to it http://www.head-fi.org/t/708920/the-mental-release-thread
In any case I decided to try dating over the internet and it has sort of left me sad, so uh yeah heres a story about it
Ok, not trying to be a downer or anything, but let me put on my boring adult hat for a second...
- You're 15. Yeah life sucks. We've all been there, done that. Maybe you've had it a bit worse than others, maybe not.
- You've attributed so much of your problems to "I'm this way because ________________". Well ok, fine. You're smart enough to identify the cause. Now be smart enough to not let it be a crutch. Be something better than that.
- This thing with the girl unfolded over what... three days? a week? She "made you" fall head over heels for her? Again, "I'm _____ because of ________"
- You started off with a scheme. That never work. Ever. Not even in the movies.
- Talking "lovingly" to her... for real? Take a moment and consider how "serious" was this relationship.
- Did you come on too strong? Did you put all your eggs in one basket? Did you overwhelm her? Did you crush her underneath your loney desire to be needed and loved? Probably. Girls hate that. It's like gardening. A little bit goes a long way. A bit of water and fertilizer will keep things healthy and growing. Too much schiit will burn the ground and everything dies. Lesson learned. Move on.
- Consider this: You met a girl. You chatted up said girl. You successfully continued said conversation, managed to garble out some words resembling affection, and lord almight even received some in return and had terms of moderate endearment for each other and had a "date". Then it waned and you lost it. Well guess what, that's still 7 out of 8. At 87.5% that's practically an A+ in some gradebooks. Good job. You're way ahead of the curve against all the other schmoes.
So you failed to get the girl. Whoopdeefreekindodah. You're 15. You've got years of failure ahead of you, and no that's not a bad thing. Failure teaches you precisely all the stuff you need to know. You don't learn it by doing it right. And that's just on your end. Then there's all the girls (and boys) who will fail on their end too even when you get it right. Lots of them. That'll teach you what to stay away from. Sometimes. Unless you decide you like chasing that kind, in which case... well at least here's a place to share all the stories right?
Thanks man, I just really wanted to contribute to the thread seeing as the only other stories that I could have told more or less never made it to the date, the girl would always just... but, that's besides the point, thanks for the feed back, and I'll make sure to try to fix myself, I mean I have no other way to continue on in my life, right?
Also to respond to your comments (however unnecessary that maybe) in order:
-Yup, 15's a piece of schiit age to be at (for some), while at the same time being excellent (once again, for some), unfortunately the type of stuff that has happened over the course of my previous 15 years is something not exactly worth retelling on a thread on the internet, nor not exactly something most of my mind would be "OK" to talk about through even PM
-You are correct about the whole using this whole mental thing as a crutch, as I've done it before (and that never didn't end well), but trust me when I say I've begun trying hard to conceal this mental sickness thing so much that even trying to think of using it as a crutch anymore would blow my cover to my parents...
-it was over the course of half a week, yeah I'm not going to be that trusting ever again
-Yup, should have learned from previous mistakes but, well I didn't, I'm just a bit dumb that way, lol
-Yes I came on way too strong, I had practically terrified her, but I've changed, a lot, since this happened (forgot to say this whole thing happened a whole month ago, and I just got back from doing a lot of work in school and on myself)
-Well I guess that is something to have come out of this, I got experience from quite a smart guy and I got positive reinforcement in the shape of a percentage to how semi successful I got from said smart guy
Picking up cues and body language sometimes comes with experience. Listen, pay attention and use your intuition. You also have to consider that the person you are looking for cues from may not know how to give them. It is a 2-way street.
I thinkI've gotten worse at that as I've grown older.
The most unfortunate things is that most of the girls I meet have the worst voices, which makes for not so excellent conversation in general.
I'm absolutely horrid with being intimate in any fashion in a face to face conversation
I don't know if I've actually gotten worse as I get older, but at least I'm realizing more and more that I'm terrible at interpreting the body language of girls I'm interested in. It doesn't help that my "type" is the bubbly, smiley type of girl who's so friendly that guys mistake it for flirting all the time. There's this girl that I'm currently interested in, and some of the things she's been saying to me would be unmistakably flirting if she were a normal girl, but nope, I won't make that assumption because she's got that "accidental flirt" personality type. The only way to find out is to ask her out, but I'm also hesitant to do that because if she says no, I'll still be seeing her every day at work.
The bubbly flirty types are so hard to read, and if you call them on it most of the time they won't believe you anyways. But heck, ask her out anyways. So what if she says no? As long as you make the attempt relaxed and casual and she turns it down with some grace, then no harm no foul, and there's no reason for things to be awkward.