JamesMcProgger
Headphoneus Supremus
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2010
- Posts
- 6,552
- Likes
- 189
^ do you even know who he is?
This joke is totally awesome.
- Thread starter 10068
- Start date
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2009
- Posts
- 3,029
- Likes
- 89
Question: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb??
Answer: Only one but the light bulb really has to want to change
Answer: Only one but the light bulb really has to want to change
Permagrin
1000+ Head-Fier
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2009
- Posts
- 1,471
- Likes
- 33
Glad I get this joke.
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
- 20,312
- Likes
- 3,656
I think he lost it.
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
- 20,312
- Likes
- 3,656
Insanity Streak
JamesMcProgger
Headphoneus Supremus
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2010
- Posts
- 6,552
- Likes
- 189
this joke goes for Wink, a la Wink
[size=1.5em] Norma Lyon, a self-described dairy farmer’s wife and mother of nine who achieved fame well beyond the Midwest as the “butter-cow lady” of the Iowa State Fair, sculpturing tons of U.S. Grade AA salted butter each year into life-size figures of cows, famous people and, once, a diorama of the Last Supper, died on Sunday in Marshalltown, Iowa. She was 81.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Her family said the apparent cause was a stroke Ms. Lyon’s sculptures reached a vast audience during her lifetime, partly because she worked not just in Iowa but also at state fairs throughout rural America, and partly because the idea of a butter sculptor from Iowa was just irresistible to television people in the big city.[/size]
[size=1.5em] She appeared on “Today” and “The Tonight Show.” On “Late Night With David Letterman” in 1984, she showed up with a small cheddar-cheese version of her butter cow — to make it easier to carry, she said.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Her unabashed pride in answering all questions bovine during her appearance in 1963 on “To Tell the Truth” led the show’s panelists to pick her as the only possible authentic butter-cow lady of Iowa from among the three contestants all claiming to be her.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Asked on Monday how Ms. Lyon felt about her novelty appeal on TV, her daughter Michelle Juhl said: “She loved it, you betcha. My mom was a person who loved for people to know her work — and, by the way, she knew it was good public relations for the dairy industry.”[/size]
[size=1.5em] From 1960 until her retirement in 2006, Ms. Lyon’s butter sculpture was among the must-sees at the Iowa State Fair, attracting lines that snaked around the building where it was displayed in a refrigerated glass case. (One inspired writer likened the experience to “the viewing of the Pietà in the Vatican.”)[/size]
[size=1.5em] Her renown was such that Barack Obama sought her endorsement in late 2007 while campaigning in Iowa for the Democratic presidential nomination. Ms. Lyon complied, producing a 60-second radio campaign commercial for him.[/size]
[size=1.5em] “He knows our kids need opportunity here in Iowa so they don’t have to leave home to follow their dreams,” she said in the ad. “Even if that dream is 500 pounds of butter shaped like a cow.”[/size]
[size=1.5em] The online political journal Politico credited the ad with helping Mr. Obama win the state’s caucuses.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Norma Duffield Stong, known as Duffy, was born on July 29, 1929, in Nashville, the daughter of Benton J. Stong, a newspaper reporter, and his wife, Elsa. A grandmother, Bertha Clark, was a founder of the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra. An uncle, Phil Stong, was author of the book “State Fair,” which was the basis of the Rodgers and Hammerstein film musical of the same name.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Besides Ms. Juhl, she is survived by her husband of 61 years, G. Joe Lyon; 8 other children; 23 grandchildren; 5 great-grandchildren; and a brother.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Ms. Lyon studied animal science at Iowa State University in the late 1940s, when the American sculptor Christian Petersen was an artist in residence there. His encouragement, after seeing an ice sculpture she made for a campus winter festival, led her to take several of his studio classes before graduating in 1951.[/size]
[size=1.5em] She got the first opportunity to use her training in 1960, when she became the official sculptor of the Butter Cow, a life-size statue that had been the dairy industry’s symbol at the Iowa State Fair since 1911. Another sculptor had the job at the time, but Ms. Lyon convinced fair officials that she could do it better.[/size]
[size=1.5em] In 1984, Ms. Lyon began expanding her repertory. With fair officials’ approval, she made a life-size butter sculpture of Garth Brooks. Soon afterward, she followed with Elvis Presley, John Wayne, a diorama of “Peanuts” comic-strip characters, a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, a reproduction of “American Gothic” by Grant Wood (Mr. Petersen’s mentor) and, in 1999, her most ambitious work, “The Last Supper.”[/size]
[size=1.5em] “Her friends in town said, ‘Norma, don’t — it’s too much,’ ” Ms. Juhl said. “But my mom, when she wanted to do something, there was no stopping her."
[/size]
[size=1.5em] It is possible that the lovely young woman has a life-wrecking form of social anxiety. There are people too afraid of disapproval to venture out for a job interview, a date or even a meal in public. Despite the risk of serious side effects — nausea, loss of sex drive, seizures — drugs like Zoloft can be a godsend for this group. [size=1.5em] A BEAUTIFUL woman lowers her eyes demurely beneath a hat. In an earlier era, her gaze might have signaled a mysterious allure. But this is a 2003 advertisement for Zoloft, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (S.S.R.I.) approved by the F.D.A. to treat social anxiety disorder. “Is she just shy? Or is it Social Anxiety Disorder?” reads the caption, suggesting that the young woman is not alluring at all. She is sick.[/size]
[/size]
[size=1.5em] But the ad’s insinuation aside, it’s also possible the young woman is “just shy,” or introverted — traits our society disfavors. One way we manifest this bias is by encouraging perfectly healthy shy people to see themselves as ill.[/size]
[size=1.5em] This does us all a grave disservice, because shyness and introversion — or more precisely, the careful, sensitive temperament from which both often spring — are not just normal. They are valuable. And they may be essential to the survival of our species.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Theoretically, shyness and social anxiety disorder are easily distinguishable. But a blurry line divides the two. Imagine that the woman in the ad enjoys a steady paycheck, a strong marriage and a small circle of close friends — a good life by most measures — except that she avoids a needed promotion because she’s nervous about leading meetings. She often criticizes herself for feeling too shy to speak up.[/size]
[size=1.5em] What do you think now? Is she ill, or does she simply need public-speaking training?[/size]
[size=1.5em] Before 1980, this would have seemed a strange question. Social anxiety disorder did not officially exist until it appeared in that year’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the DSM-III, the psychiatrist’s bible of mental disorders, under the name “social phobia.” It was not widely known until the 1990s, when pharmaceutical companies received F.D.A. approval to treat social anxiety with S.S.R.I.’s and poured tens of millions of dollars into advertising its existence. The current version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the DSM-IV, acknowledges that stage fright (and shyness in social situations) is common and not necessarily a sign of illness. But it also says that diagnosis is warranted when anxiety “interferes significantly” with work performance or if the sufferer shows “marked distress” about it. According to this definition, the answer to our question is clear: the young woman in the ad is indeed sick.[/size]
[size=1.5em] The DSM inevitably reflects cultural attitudes; it used to identify homosexuality as a disease, too. Though the DSM did not set out to pathologize shyness, it risks doing so, and has twice come close to identifying introversion as a disorder, too. (Shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Shy people fear negative judgment; introverts simply prefer quiet, minimally stimulating environments.)[/size]
[size=1.5em] But shyness and introversion share an undervalued status in a world that prizes extroversion. Children’s classroom desks are now often arranged in pods, because group participation supposedly leads to better learning; in one school I visited, a sign announcing “Rules for Group Work” included, “You can’t ask a teacher for help unless everyone in your group has the same question.” Many adults work for organizations that now assign work in teams, in offices without walls, for supervisors who value “people skills” above all. As a society, we prefer action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. Studies show that we rank fast and frequent talkers as more competent, likable and even smarter than slow ones. As the psychologists William Hart and Dolores Albarracin point out, phrases like “get active,” “get moving,” “do something” and similar calls to action surface repeatedly in recent books. and they all live happily ever after, except Wink.[/size]
[size=1.5em] My apologies if its too short[/size]
[size=1.5em] Norma Lyon, a self-described dairy farmer’s wife and mother of nine who achieved fame well beyond the Midwest as the “butter-cow lady” of the Iowa State Fair, sculpturing tons of U.S. Grade AA salted butter each year into life-size figures of cows, famous people and, once, a diorama of the Last Supper, died on Sunday in Marshalltown, Iowa. She was 81.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Her family said the apparent cause was a stroke Ms. Lyon’s sculptures reached a vast audience during her lifetime, partly because she worked not just in Iowa but also at state fairs throughout rural America, and partly because the idea of a butter sculptor from Iowa was just irresistible to television people in the big city.[/size]
[size=1.5em] She appeared on “Today” and “The Tonight Show.” On “Late Night With David Letterman” in 1984, she showed up with a small cheddar-cheese version of her butter cow — to make it easier to carry, she said.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Her unabashed pride in answering all questions bovine during her appearance in 1963 on “To Tell the Truth” led the show’s panelists to pick her as the only possible authentic butter-cow lady of Iowa from among the three contestants all claiming to be her.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Asked on Monday how Ms. Lyon felt about her novelty appeal on TV, her daughter Michelle Juhl said: “She loved it, you betcha. My mom was a person who loved for people to know her work — and, by the way, she knew it was good public relations for the dairy industry.”[/size]
[size=1.5em] From 1960 until her retirement in 2006, Ms. Lyon’s butter sculpture was among the must-sees at the Iowa State Fair, attracting lines that snaked around the building where it was displayed in a refrigerated glass case. (One inspired writer likened the experience to “the viewing of the Pietà in the Vatican.”)[/size]
[size=1.5em] Her renown was such that Barack Obama sought her endorsement in late 2007 while campaigning in Iowa for the Democratic presidential nomination. Ms. Lyon complied, producing a 60-second radio campaign commercial for him.[/size]
[size=1.5em] “He knows our kids need opportunity here in Iowa so they don’t have to leave home to follow their dreams,” she said in the ad. “Even if that dream is 500 pounds of butter shaped like a cow.”[/size]
[size=1.5em] The online political journal Politico credited the ad with helping Mr. Obama win the state’s caucuses.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Norma Duffield Stong, known as Duffy, was born on July 29, 1929, in Nashville, the daughter of Benton J. Stong, a newspaper reporter, and his wife, Elsa. A grandmother, Bertha Clark, was a founder of the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra. An uncle, Phil Stong, was author of the book “State Fair,” which was the basis of the Rodgers and Hammerstein film musical of the same name.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Besides Ms. Juhl, she is survived by her husband of 61 years, G. Joe Lyon; 8 other children; 23 grandchildren; 5 great-grandchildren; and a brother.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Ms. Lyon studied animal science at Iowa State University in the late 1940s, when the American sculptor Christian Petersen was an artist in residence there. His encouragement, after seeing an ice sculpture she made for a campus winter festival, led her to take several of his studio classes before graduating in 1951.[/size]
[size=1.5em] She got the first opportunity to use her training in 1960, when she became the official sculptor of the Butter Cow, a life-size statue that had been the dairy industry’s symbol at the Iowa State Fair since 1911. Another sculptor had the job at the time, but Ms. Lyon convinced fair officials that she could do it better.[/size]
[size=1.5em] In 1984, Ms. Lyon began expanding her repertory. With fair officials’ approval, she made a life-size butter sculpture of Garth Brooks. Soon afterward, she followed with Elvis Presley, John Wayne, a diorama of “Peanuts” comic-strip characters, a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, a reproduction of “American Gothic” by Grant Wood (Mr. Petersen’s mentor) and, in 1999, her most ambitious work, “The Last Supper.”[/size]
[size=1.5em] “Her friends in town said, ‘Norma, don’t — it’s too much,’ ” Ms. Juhl said. “But my mom, when she wanted to do something, there was no stopping her."
[/size]
[size=1.5em] It is possible that the lovely young woman has a life-wrecking form of social anxiety. There are people too afraid of disapproval to venture out for a job interview, a date or even a meal in public. Despite the risk of serious side effects — nausea, loss of sex drive, seizures — drugs like Zoloft can be a godsend for this group. [size=1.5em] A BEAUTIFUL woman lowers her eyes demurely beneath a hat. In an earlier era, her gaze might have signaled a mysterious allure. But this is a 2003 advertisement for Zoloft, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (S.S.R.I.) approved by the F.D.A. to treat social anxiety disorder. “Is she just shy? Or is it Social Anxiety Disorder?” reads the caption, suggesting that the young woman is not alluring at all. She is sick.[/size]
[/size]
[size=1.5em] But the ad’s insinuation aside, it’s also possible the young woman is “just shy,” or introverted — traits our society disfavors. One way we manifest this bias is by encouraging perfectly healthy shy people to see themselves as ill.[/size]
[size=1.5em] This does us all a grave disservice, because shyness and introversion — or more precisely, the careful, sensitive temperament from which both often spring — are not just normal. They are valuable. And they may be essential to the survival of our species.[/size]
[size=1.5em] Theoretically, shyness and social anxiety disorder are easily distinguishable. But a blurry line divides the two. Imagine that the woman in the ad enjoys a steady paycheck, a strong marriage and a small circle of close friends — a good life by most measures — except that she avoids a needed promotion because she’s nervous about leading meetings. She often criticizes herself for feeling too shy to speak up.[/size]
[size=1.5em] What do you think now? Is she ill, or does she simply need public-speaking training?[/size]
[size=1.5em] Before 1980, this would have seemed a strange question. Social anxiety disorder did not officially exist until it appeared in that year’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the DSM-III, the psychiatrist’s bible of mental disorders, under the name “social phobia.” It was not widely known until the 1990s, when pharmaceutical companies received F.D.A. approval to treat social anxiety with S.S.R.I.’s and poured tens of millions of dollars into advertising its existence. The current version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the DSM-IV, acknowledges that stage fright (and shyness in social situations) is common and not necessarily a sign of illness. But it also says that diagnosis is warranted when anxiety “interferes significantly” with work performance or if the sufferer shows “marked distress” about it. According to this definition, the answer to our question is clear: the young woman in the ad is indeed sick.[/size]
[size=1.5em] The DSM inevitably reflects cultural attitudes; it used to identify homosexuality as a disease, too. Though the DSM did not set out to pathologize shyness, it risks doing so, and has twice come close to identifying introversion as a disorder, too. (Shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Shy people fear negative judgment; introverts simply prefer quiet, minimally stimulating environments.)[/size]
[size=1.5em] But shyness and introversion share an undervalued status in a world that prizes extroversion. Children’s classroom desks are now often arranged in pods, because group participation supposedly leads to better learning; in one school I visited, a sign announcing “Rules for Group Work” included, “You can’t ask a teacher for help unless everyone in your group has the same question.” Many adults work for organizations that now assign work in teams, in offices without walls, for supervisors who value “people skills” above all. As a society, we prefer action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. Studies show that we rank fast and frequent talkers as more competent, likable and even smarter than slow ones. As the psychologists William Hart and Dolores Albarracin point out, phrases like “get active,” “get moving,” “do something” and similar calls to action surface repeatedly in recent books. and they all live happily ever after, except Wink.[/size]
[size=1.5em] My apologies if its too short[/size]
Permagrin
1000+ Head-Fier
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2009
- Posts
- 1,471
- Likes
- 33
You are either a cynic or are not familiar with Hofstadter's writing. If the latter is the case I suggest reading his "Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid".
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
- 20,312
- Likes
- 3,656
Quote:
I live very happily..................
Quote:
You are either a cynic or are not familiar with Hofstadter's writing. If the latter is the case I suggest reading his "Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid".
I am most definitely a cynic.
I have "Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid". .
Have had it for over 5 years.
My nephew read it four years ago - I am still trying to find the time, even though I look at Escher's drawings from time to time.
I'd like to refer to myself, but I think I would take myself out of context.
I always wondered how Godel completed his Incompleteness Theorem.
Maybe he used Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle to guide him.
Or even Cantor's Set Theory which deals with infinities which are part of their own subsets.
Why I Now Know.....!! I must be meta.
Permagrin
1000+ Head-Fier
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2009
- Posts
- 1,471
- Likes
- 33
I live very happily..................
I am most definitely a cynic.
I have "Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid". .
Have had it for over 5 years.
My nephew read it four years ago - I am still trying to find the time, even though I look at Escher's drawings from time to time.
I'd like to refer to myself, but I think I would take myself out of context.
I always wondered how Godel completed his Incompleteness Theorem.
Maybe he used Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle to guide him.
Or even Cantor's Set Theory which deals with infinities which are part of their own subsets.
Why I Now Know.....!! I must be meta.
So you haven't even read it and you say you're a cynic? I think you're using the wrong word... :rolleyes:
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
- 20,312
- Likes
- 3,656
Quote:
So you haven't even read it and you say you're a cynic? I think you're using the wrong word...
I must admit I started once. Got in a few pages. Loaned to my nephew. (He was doing his Ph.D at the time. He gave it back. I leafed through it a few times along with looking at Escher's artwork.
I keep thinking about reading it, but other books keep pushing it back into the pile...
I can be a cynic without having read the book.
http://tal.forum2.org/geb20 is a summary of the new edition.
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
- 20,312
- Likes
- 3,656
Back on track...
What is the difference between Capitalism and Socialism?
Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man
Socialism is the exact opposite.
What is the difference between Capitalism and Socialism?
Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man
Socialism is the exact opposite.
Permagrin
1000+ Head-Fier
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2009
- Posts
- 1,471
- Likes
- 33
Sure you can, uninformed people make beliefs all the time.
Anyway as a cynic you must have a rebuttal to his suppositions. I'd love to hear them.
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
- 20,312
- Likes
- 3,656
Quote:
So do informed people and those who misread the facts.
SiriuslyCold
500+ Head-Fier
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2004
- Posts
- 883
- Likes
- 15
wink
His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2009
- Posts
- 20,312
- Likes
- 3,656
[size=medium]Son’s 21st Birthday[/size]
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink”! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pop out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink”! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left…. then to the right…. right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief.
The bartender sighs and says, “That boy should have quit while he was a head.”
[size=medium]Blond’s Birthday Interview[/size]
A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview on 21st Birthday.
The interviewer starts with the basics.
“So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 21!”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
“And can you tell us your height, please?”
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!”
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won’t have to count, measure, or lookup.
“Just to confirm for our records, your name please?”
The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “MANDY!”
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks -
“What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?”
“Ohhhh, that!” replies the airhead…
” I was just running through that song -
‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’ ”
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink”! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pop out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink”! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left…. then to the right…. right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief.
The bartender sighs and says, “That boy should have quit while he was a head.”
[size=medium]Blond’s Birthday Interview[/size]
A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview on 21st Birthday.
The interviewer starts with the basics.
“So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 21!”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
“And can you tell us your height, please?”
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!”
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won’t have to count, measure, or lookup.
“Just to confirm for our records, your name please?”
The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “MANDY!”
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks -
“What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?”
“Ohhhh, that!” replies the airhead…
” I was just running through that song -
‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’ ”
Users who are viewing this thread
