[wink]

Sounds like a lot of baloney.....
 
Where does a general keep his armies?
 
 

Spoiler

 Up his sleevies.......

 tee hee

 

[kwkarth]

 
Modern day problems:
 
My young grandson loves to read.  I decided to give him a book for his birthday.
He went crazy trying to find where to put the batteries.

 

[wink]

You should have told him it was solar powered...............

 

[kwkarth]

Quote:

You should have told him it was solar powered...............

  

 

[wink]

World's best joke....
 
 

[size=13.5pt]A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” [/size] [size=13.5pt]The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. [/size] [size=13.5pt]The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“ [/size]   Runner Up

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson. “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson ponders for a minute.  “Well,  Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.  Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.  Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.  Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.  Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.  But what does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is silent for a moment.   “Watson, you idiot!” he says.  “Someone has stolen our tent!”

 

[Happy Camper]

Good job wink.

 

[Confispect]

LMAO!
 
Sherlock Holmes haha

 

[Lazarus Short]

 
 
Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald's next to the Sea Side Restaurant because they only had $6.50 between them and Bobby Bruce, the cute boy in science class, lived on that street.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 25-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because it had free snacks, there was no cover charge, the beer was cheap, the band was good and there were lots of cute guys.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 35-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the combos were good, it was near the gym and if they went late enough, there wouldn't be many whiny little kids.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 45-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the martinis were big and the waiters wore tight pants and had nice buns.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 55-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the prices were reasonable, it had widows which opened (in case of hot flashes), the wine list was good and fish was good for their cholesterol.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 65-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because they had an Early Bird Special and the lighting was good.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 75-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the food wasn't too spicy and it was handicapped accessible.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 85-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because they'd never been there before.

 

[ssavage]

huh dont get it

 

[earthpeople]

Obviously you're supposed to be amazed the restaurant is still open after all that time.
 
 
Obviously.
 
 
 

 

[10068]

lol.
 
ssavage, the joke is Alzheimer's
 
Quote:

Obviously you're supposed to be amazed the restaurant is still open after all that time.
Obviously.

 

[Confispect]

Quote:

 
 
Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald's next to the Sea Side Restaurant because they only had $6.50 between them and Bobby Bruce, the 1. cute boy in science class, lived on that street.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 25-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because it had free snacks, there was no cover charge, the beer was cheap, the band was good and there were lots of cute guys.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 35-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the combos were good, it was near the gym and if they went late enough, there wouldn't be many whiny little kids.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 45-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the martinis were big and the 2. waiters wore tight pants and had nice buns.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 55-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the prices were reasonable, it had widows which opened (in case of hot flashes), the wine list was good and fish was good for their cholesterol.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 65-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because they had an Early Bird Special and the lighting was good.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 75-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the food wasn't too spicy and it was 3. handicapped accessible.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 85-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner.4. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because they'd never been there before.

 
 
1. Normal
2, What!
3. Hmmmmm
4, Memory lost
 
 
What I gathered from this joke is my mind does not want to ever see it again. 

 

[wink]

I'm surprised most of them haven't shuffled off this mortal coil by then.
 
Maybe the Sea Side restaurant is a modern day fountain of youth..... keeps you going but very taxing on your life forces.
 
Or perhaps a Dorian Grey facsimile.
 
 
Perhaps the joke is on us for persisting in keeping this thread afloat.
 
If it keeps going, I may have to post the legendary White Elephant joke.............

 

[Confispect]

Quote:

Since it has kept going, I will post the legendary White Elephant joke.............

 
 
Fixed that for you. 
 

 
 

 

[3sheets]

uber funny...maybe?