[GlendaleViper]

I like to think of myself as some kind of a wit. Dimwit perhaps, but a wit nonetheless. It's kind of mandatory - nobody likes the guy that can dish out a zinger but can't accept one back. As a bit of a dick, I am therefore quick to self-deprecate where it'll draw a laugh.

Now, I like to think that my witticisms are just that. Among friends I tend to be a little more introspective and scathing, since they know me well enough to draw some entertainment from it... but that's not where this thread is going. My concern lies with the "fluffy ribs" I like to toss around with acquaintances, work friends and strangers, and the rising frequency that said ribs are being met with grassroots psychology.

Now, of course, I have taken into consideration that my jokes may not be funny.

But then I consider the reaction of the group and suddenly I start to feel that (to some, anyway) scathing humour is just not funny to people anymore. It's a depressing thought, really: Consider that sensitivity is so high that you can't even take a dig at yourself anymore, without offending someone in one way or another.

Now, the discussion aspect. No doubt we have some rapier wits in the house that is Head-Fi. Sadly, my strengths lie in speed and dialogue over the written word, so I fear much of my sense of humour is lost on these boards (except where straight absurdity can be relayed). To strike a point, on numerous occasions over the last half year and between "lite" friends and strangers alike, my self-deprecation has been met with some of the following comments (just a quick sampling off the top of my head):

- You know, you really shouldn't talk like that. You're a nice person.
- Hey, you should really read "The Secret". (Seriously)
- Do you want to talk?
- Nah man, don't think like that, think positive! (this one has led into a conversation about The Secret, too)

Now, bear in mind that these comments stem from the lightest of jokes, directed at the most superficial qualities of my persona and physique, always delivered with a wry smile. They have to be. These people don't know me, certainly not well, and anything deeper would just fly over their heads. More to the point, they haven't even seen me upset, angry, sad, etc.

Anyway, I found it curious that suddenly a much loved form of humour is being met with such reactions. Is this a byproduct of internet diagnoses? Is the Emo generation at fault? Am I the only one that's noticed this? I can't say this type of reaction is rampant, but I get one from time to time
and I can't help but think we're too oversensitive as a culture to appreciate a friendly jab in the ribs from time to time.

Thoughts?

 

[ken36]

Maybe the pendulum will swing back, by the time you are my age.

 

[Sherwood]

I think it's important to stand strong in the face of this. Deprecating humor, of any sort, is by nature an edgier kind of humor. The mere fact that it garners attention like this, to me, means that you're being edgy. I've noticed, especially on these boards, that some people just really don't have much of a sense of humor. Most likely, we are too sensitive as a culture to appreciate dark humor. That just means it's all the more valuable.

It's a terrible thing to take yourself too seriously, and you're doing good work offending those people's sensibilities. If I were you, I'd come up with some good jokes about "The Secret". If in any doubt, turn to The Onion.

 

[TheAnomaly]

do you think they say that because they don't realize it was a joke? or because they think you have low self-esteem?

 

[Kees]

ευθανασία

 

[no1likesme]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlendaleViper /img/forum/go_quote.gif I like to think of myself as some kind of a wit. Dimwit perhaps, but a wit nonetheless. It's kind of mandatory - nobody likes the guy that can dish out a zinger but can't accept one back. As a bit of a dick, I am therefore quick to self-deprecate where it'll draw a laugh. Now, I like to think that my witticisms are just that. Among friends I tend to be a little more introspective and scathing, since they know me well enough to draw some entertainment from it... but that's not where this thread is going. My concern lies with the "fluffy ribs" I like to toss around with acquaintances, work friends and strangers, and the rising frequency that said ribs are being met with grassroots psychology. Now, of course, I have taken into consideration that my jokes may not be funny. But then I consider the reaction of the group and suddenly I start to feel that (to some, anyway) scathing homour is just not funny to people anymore. It's a depressing thought, really: Consider that sensitivity is so high that you can't even take a dig at yourself anymore, without offending someone in one way or another. Now, the discussion aspect. No doubt we have some rapier wits in the house that is Head-Fi. Sadly, my strengths lie in speed and dialogue over the written word, so I fear much of my sense of humour is lost on these boards (except where straight absurdity can be relayed). To strike a point, on numerous occasions over the last half year and between "lite" friends and strangers alike, my self-deprecation has been met with some of the following comments (just a quick sampling off the top of my head): - You know, you really shouldn't talk like that. You're a nice person. - Hey, you should really read "The Secret". (Seriously) - Do you want to talk? - Nah man, don't think like that, think positive! (this one has led into a conversation about The Secret, too) Now, bear in mind that these comments stem from the lightest of jokes, directed at the most superficial qualities of my persona and physique, always delivered with a wry smile. They have to be. These people don't know me, certainly not well, and anything deeper would just fly over their heads. More to the point, they haven't even seen me upset, angry, sad, etc. Anyway, I found it curious that suddenly a much loved form of humour is being met with such reactions. Is this a byproduct of internet diagnoses? Is the Emo generation at fault? Am I the only one that's noticed this? I can't say this type of reaction is rampant, but I get one from time to time and I can't help but think we're too oversensitive as a culture to appreciate a friendly jab in the ribs from time to time. Thoughts?

I do the exact same thing and have been met with similar results but when someone starts questioning me about it I usually either act very depressed and suicidal or I just randomly start swearing and shouting racial slurs (this one is really funny in large stores like wal mart).

The way I see it if someone gets so easily offended then I really do not want to be around such a closed minded person and quite frankly don't care at all what they think of me or my sense of humor.

Just entertain yourself and screw everyone else!

 

[tonym]

Quote:

Originally Posted by no1likesme /img/forum/go_quote.gif .... but when someone starts questioning me about it I usually either act very depressed and suicidal or I just randomly start swearing and shouting racial slurs

Do you want to talk?

 

[no1likesme]

insert string of words that would lead to me being banned here...

 

[Sherwood]

Man, a string of racial slurs? That's a little too edgy for me. I think you're way past humor there, even if it was intended as a joke.

To each his own, I guess. I'd recommend just sticking to northern Europeans, though.

 

[hciman77]

Whenever I hear self-deprecating humour or self-deprecation done seriously I just ignore it (unless I am likely to need a favour from the perpetrator), it can be as irritating as false modesty, at least I have good reason to be modest. I figure responding just encourages them and often I frankly just dont care anyway, the main exception being the missus, years of marriage teach one to at least try and carefully judge how to respond to spousal self-put-downs.

As for everyone else, well if you really feel like that be my guest

I used to practice self-deprecating humour, but I was never very good at it.

 

[Kirosia]

Quote:

The way I see it if someone gets so easily offended then I really do not want to be around such a closed minded person and quite frankly don't care at all what they think of me or my sense of humor.

You're what we call an insert string of words that would lead to me being banned here.... After that other thread, it was revealed you're the close minded one who borders on racist, especially since it seems you continue to use such slurs with disregard. (Even after we tried to explain to you why not to say them)

 

[GlendaleViper]

This thread is proving most interesting. Exactly what I wanted to see - folks on both sides of the camp.

On another note, please keep this clean. I posted this for a reason and don't want to see a needless thread delete.

 

[mbriant]

If it makes you feel better, I think you're a dick too. :

 

[joneeboi]

Here's a bit of advice I scooped up in junior high English Language Arts classes: be mindful of your audience.

I could probably say that I have the same kind of predicament but in the stead of the self-deprecating genre is sarcastic humour. You have to realize that different types of humour is received differently by different people. When I'm around my brothers, I'll pull out the inside jokes we've pulled from various TV series (Arrested Development, Scrubs, Boston Legal, Grey's Anatomy, HIMYM) alongside certain movies (Zoolander, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, Rush Hour). As you can see, it would take a very localized knowledge to really get any of these inside jokes (disregarding the fact that inside jokes already require localized knowledge). As I'm understanding it, you're already aware that your self-deprecating humour works around certain friends and not so around others. Just like how "Welcome to head-fi; sorry about your wallet" only really works here, break out your bread-and-butter when it's actually understood.

As for your questions,

Is this a byproduct of internet diagnoses?
Is the Emo generation at fault?
Am I the only one that's noticed this?

I'd say internet diagnoses and Emos aren't to blame. It's probably you're aiming your gun at the wrong target.

Of course, we could get into humour theory and how most (if not all) humour is derived from someone's social status being lowered (think of how we love to hate on Britney, Lindsay, Paris, Christina, etc.). Self-deprecating humour should only be used sparingly according to this theory because you can't bust on anyone's status if yours is the lowest. Think of a meeting between a bunch of suits in a tall building. The boss points out that so-and-so smells funny and the entire room laughs. Then we have Joe-Blow-lowest-on-the-totem-pole making fun of the boss. Nobody will laugh at that but will rather start busting on him. See where I'm going here? So don't put yourself down too much because if you do, your jokes will be seen as unfunny or serious, as it seems you have progressed to, and you're going to have to look for a new audience.

Am I making any sense here?

 

[GlendaleViper]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mbriant /img/forum/go_quote.gif If it makes you feel better, I think you're a dick too. :

Heheheh. In the spirit of the thread, I'm glad it didn't take long for someone to capitalize on that one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sherwood I think it's important to stand strong in the face of this. Deprecating humor, of any sort, is by nature an edgier kind of humor. The mere fact that it garners attention like this, to me, means that you're being edgy. I've noticed, especially on these boards, that some people just really don't have much of a sense of humor. Most likely, we are too sensitive as a culture to appreciate dark humor. That just means it's all the more valuable.

Glad you feel the same way, although I like to think that I keep my dark side well tempered unless with those I'm most comfortable. In settings as described above, I like to think I keep things light, more on the "zing" end as opposed to the "+3 p*ick person sword of hurt feelings" approach.

Unless I'm just being a person, of course.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAnomaly /img/forum/go_quote.gif do you think they say that because they don't realize it was a joke? or because they think you have low self-esteem?

I personally think it's a combination of the two. A missed joke leads to concern... but I'm most interested in why they are so quick to think that way in the first place. It's something I've noticed increasingly with people. Not just with myself, but in other peoples' interactions as well.