Is it possible to be in love with someone you barely know?

[Kirosia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nhancakes /img/forum/go_quote.gif You're infatuated, but you don't know what love is. And if you really "loved" her then you wouldn't have trouble just telling her you like her. You're hiding your feelings from her, and you think you can love someone by hiding from her? or hell you might be starcrossed lovers who knows? but I'm not a believer in that.

Well that's why I'm saying it's irrational, and most likely a really messed up crush. As for starcrossed lovers, if only..

 

[Happy Camper]

You could let her know what an impression she's made on you and that before you watch her walk away, you had to tell her your feelings.

Another option is to send her a link to this thread.

 

[Superpredator]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia /img/forum/go_quote.gif I've been in the same french classes with her for a year, but have only talked to her this semester. I graduate in a month and may never see her again, so I really have no choice. Plus the emotions are distracting me from my schoolwork and well, causing me massive amounts of pain.

Well, in my mind you have at least three weeks to build some tension for her and work up to it. It's too bad that being a Head-Fi superstar counts for nothing with most women. I don't think anyone would disagree with me when I say you're one of the most enjoyably bizarre members here. If that specialness is a reflection of your real-world persona I'm pretty sure you could use it to snag a chick if you put your mind to it.

Deboyfriending a girl isn't terribly difficult, but it's best done over time, Jim and Pam style (if you watch The US/Office). I failed at it the one time I actually put in a lot of effort, but even so we are still close friends today. The initial relationship coasted the line between (mutually) romantic and platonic, building over time, and it was not a misread on my part. We've since talked all about it, and she let me know that she came incredibly close to accepting my offer to take her to see Spirited Away. I think I may have failed in part because she had a traditional sensibility and her culture was important to her, but it doesn't matter much either way anymore. I definitely agree that you should give it a shot, but I hope you do so with a more hopeful outlook. Confidence counts for a lot.

 

[vhobhstr]

Kirosia - We don't know each other but I'd like to wish you good luck. You seem to be in a really difficult situation. I'm hesitant to give any advice, though, because I don't know much about love.

 

[Joelby]

Kirosia, your lack of confidence will kill any chance you may have. She will read that and you will definitely get the negative outcome that you're building yourself up for. If you want a woman, you gotta show her that you're happy with who you are.

 

[Kirosia]

I've been a walking corpse the past six plus years. Couldn't see a future, may not even have cared for one. But along she came, making me feel something I though I could never feel. She's breathed some semblance of life into me and brought back my humanity. And I don't want to let that feeling go, no matter how irrational, how foolish. But I know can't win. I won't. I'm confident in that, this time.

 

[choka]

I feel you. I got my heart shredded 5 years ago and i haven't been with anyone since. I've passed on a few opportunities because i don't have a heart anymore. If i meet someone who can make my heart pump again, like you do, i will jump on her without thinking. (The jumping on her part, i mean that literally

)

believe. love is irrational. love is magic. take the risk, and hope for the best. DO NOT RUN AWAY.

once again i wish you the best of luck

 

[Uncle Erik]

First, she already knows you like her. Women just know these things.

Second, declarations of love/crush/etc. are the surest road to rejection. It never works for anyone outside of TV and movies.

Just ask her out. Invite her over to study, work that into going out to eat, a few drinks, whatever. Pay attention to her body language. If she's interested, make a move.

But don't open up and spill everything. You'll come across as creepy and that will be the end. Just see if she'll swap notes, want to eat, that sort of thing. She'll know that you're asking her out and you can avoid the humiliating confession part.

 

[Kirosia]

I don't have the time, Unc. I'm hurting bad and I can't survive another weekend with this inside of me.

I remember a few weeks ago, she caught up to me after class and struck up a conversation. But I had to go to the computer lab and I just sort of left her while she was still talking. I regret that I didn't follow, as we could've had lunch together. Recently she's been a bit distant and I'm unsure if it's because she's indifferent towards me, or if if she feel I've become indifferent towards her. But I don't think she dislikes me. The big question is does she see me as a potential friend, or possibly something more?

 

[demoNMaCHiN3]

If you can't wait then just whip it out and stick it in her butt. This will tell you definitively if she's into you or not based on her response. This works for me.....sometimes

 

[logwed]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Camper /img/forum/go_quote.gif You could let her know what an impression she's made on you and that before you watch her walk away, you had to tell her your feelings. Another option is to send her a link to this thread.

Bad idea. Baaaad idea.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia I don't have the time, Unc. I'm hurting bad and I can't survive another weekend with this inside of me. I remember a few weeks ago, she caught up to me after class and struck up a conversation. But I had to go to the computer lab and I just let her go while she was still talking. I regret that I didn't follow, she was going to lunch and I could've eaten with her. Recently she's been a bit distant and I'm unsure if it's because she's indifferent towards me, or if if she thinks I've become indifferent towards her. But I don't think she dislikes me. The big question is does she see me as a potential friend, or possibly something more?.

I felt exactly like this about a month (maybe 2) ago. I was terrified that she just wanted to stay friends with me, even though I desperately wanted to be in a relationship with her. Think of it from her perspective, if she likes you, is she going to be broadcasting that to the whole world? Is she going to be all cuddly with someone that is acting fairly coolly to her? She's probably behaving just like you, playing it safe, not letting her cards show. Now, professing your love for her is not the way to go about it. I confided in some of her friends how I felt about her, I made every effort to be around her as much as possible (even feeling very annoying at times). Eventually, I plucked up the courage to ask her on an actual date, and guess what, it worked out. Someone has to start somewhere by showing their feelings, but just dumping them on the table is just going to be an awkward experience. Let your time together catalyze the process of learning about each other.

EDIT: Just don't wait, man. It really kills me, because my time is now extremely limited with her, and if I had just acted on my feelings, I could be in a caring relationship for far longer than I can now.

 

[momomo6789]

ahh come on he was so going to confess in a cheesy way and get rejected and come cry here and entertain us at some point and now you've gone and given him advice that might even work probably not but anyways. it was going so good no good advice then bam 2 in a row

 

[arnesto]

Hey Kirosia, just my two cents on this.

I really hope it works out for you.

My experience is that girls don't like ultimatums. Like telling her you like her, and she has to ultimately decide to choose between you and her current boyfriend may not work.

What do you think about just asking for her phone number to chat later or asking her what she is doing on the weekend and if she wants to hang out later.

If she is interested, then she will make time to see you. If she is not interested, then you will find out that way too.

I think it is a more indirect way to find out.

 

[Mad Max]

Quote:

Originally Posted by momomo6789 /img/forum/go_quote.gif ahh come on he was so going to confess in a cheesy way and get rejected and come cry here and entertain us at some point and now you've gone and given him advice that might even work probably not but anyways. it was going so good no good advice then bam 2 in a row

You can always try derailing the thread.

Alternatively, you could have gone with something along the following:

 

[momomo6789]