estreeter
Headphoneus Supremus
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2009
- Posts
- 8,336
- Likes
- 482
[size=small][size=small]"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"What sort of trouble?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Went away?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"They disappeared." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Nothing." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Nothing?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"How do I tell?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"What's a sea-prompt?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Does your monitor have a power indicator?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"What's a monitor?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"I don't know." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, I think so." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, it is." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"No." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Okay, here it is." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"I can't reach." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"No." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Dark?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, turn on the office light then." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"I can't." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"No? Why not?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Because there's a power failure." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Really? Is it that bad?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, I'm afraid it is." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."[/size] [/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"What sort of trouble?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Went away?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"They disappeared." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Nothing." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Nothing?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"How do I tell?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"What's a sea-prompt?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Does your monitor have a power indicator?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"What's a monitor?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"I don't know." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, I think so." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, it is." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"No." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Okay, here it is." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"I can't reach." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"No." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Dark?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, turn on the office light then." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"I can't." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"No? Why not?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Because there's a power failure." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Really? Is it that bad?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Yes, I'm afraid it is." [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" [/size][/size]
[size=small][size=small]"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."[/size] [/size]