Gregorian chants ONLY out of the left side, while the right plays Wierd Al's Amish Paradise. Obviously make sure that you're starting Amish Paradise at 1:13:02.3 and run it only until 4:27:09.21. Also, the Gregorian Chant has to be by a monk with an aussie accent, or it'll completely ruin the sound of the phones permanently.
I think I have an old multi-track wave file with this exact configuration, if you're interested. It's 64-bit 768k, though, so it'll need a dedicated hard drive to run it. It's looped 486 times. Don't even try to put it on repeat, if you want to run it longer you'll have to generated a new file. Repeat destroys fidelity.