How miserable can one be?
May 3, 2010 at 6:10 AM Post #76 of 91
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi /img/forum/go_quote.gif
I am at the lowest point in my life as of right now. Of all the people in this world, i never thought it would happen to me. I am surprised, miserable, and a whole lot of angry.

Well some of you may know, i'm a newlywed. And soon to be divorced. Why? because my wife has been sleeping with an old friend she ran into here in town and has finally confessed that she has fallen for him, and now she wants a divorce. I love Head-Fi, but even my rig can't save me now. I need you guys more than ever.
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And that is why I am going to stay single for the rest of my life.
 
May 3, 2010 at 6:31 AM Post #77 of 91
I think love is a risk, and i really do think it's a risk worth taking. Even after all this, i still haven't given up on it. It gave me insight and it sure did help me grow as a person. I just can't imagine living life without at least having my own children.
 
May 3, 2010 at 4:56 PM Post #78 of 91
Hold tight fella. I went through something similar (never made it to the wedding) and about a year and a half later, I'm still not completely over it. The betrayal is the toughest part - self-opinion gets crushed remarkably easy.

But, as Unkle Erik mentioned much earlier in the thread, getting things moving on the legal end and doing things you enjoy to keep busy and active will help rebuild your confidence. Remain true to yourself, leverage your friends and trust that time will heal all.
 
May 3, 2010 at 5:51 PM Post #79 of 91
I know how you feel Pepsi,
My marriage only lasted a year.
I have been in a couple of long term relationship since then.
It does get better.
Make sure that you get a lawyer.
Some people can be really mean when it comes to divorce.
Even if you think she is nice, her friends might convince her otherwise.
Best advice I can give you is to not sulk by yourself at home.

Go out and have fun.
 
May 3, 2010 at 6:09 PM Post #80 of 91
The best revenge you can get is by; Being happy and moving on and living well. It's cliche for a reason.

If you are looking for a road trip to NYC give me a PM.
 
May 3, 2010 at 6:43 PM Post #81 of 91
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi /img/forum/go_quote.gif
I am at the lowest point in my life as of right now. Of all the people in this world, i never thought it would happen to me. I am surprised, miserable, and a whole lot of angry.

Well some of you may know, i'm a newlywed. And soon to be divorced. Why? because my wife has been sleeping with an old friend she ran into here in town and has finally confessed that she has fallen for him, and now she wants a divorce. I love Head-Fi, but even my rig can't save me now. I need you guys more than ever.
frown.gif



Emotional pain is the worst..Anger & disbelief is natural at this point. Let the anger out in a way that no one gets hurt. I suggest standing in front of a mirror & pretend you are talking to her & yell, scream, 'telling her' what you think. It does help. You need a out let or the anger will eat you up. But time does heal all wounds.. This is very tough now, but you will move on when you are ready. I'd rather be physically beaten then go through what your going through.. Just be thankful kids are not involved. They can be used as pawns unfortunately. Mending a wounded heart is much tougher to deal with.. I'm here for you.. Let it out...PM me.. I can give you some insight & sound advice.
 
May 3, 2010 at 8:51 PM Post #82 of 91
I'm very sorry to hear about what's happened to you Pepsi.

Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you that it's partly your fault, that this sort of thing takes two. Sometimes it is the fault of just one partner! I've seen it.

I have a friend who went through almost exactly what you are. He was married three years and his wife was carrying on with a past school friend. It was a nasty, bitter divorce. This woman who I thought was so nice did everything she could to put the screws to him. As has been said, get a good lawyer and DO NOT depend on her kindness or understanding at all. She is no longer the same woman you married!

My friend tried to hang on as he really loved her. Big mistake. All that happened was that he was longer in getting on with his life and gave her & her lawyer opportunity to try to take as much as they could.

My friend is now well on the other side and is happily married to another woman for over four years now. He has never been happier. She is much better suited for him. I think it also helped that he moved across the country and started fresh in a new area. He didn't have those reminders everywhere anymore.

I have no experience in this but take some lessons from my friend. I wish you all luck and that you get whatever you need to get through this. Just remember that you will get through and that it might not seem so right now but you will be better and stronger for it!
 
May 4, 2010 at 3:22 AM Post #83 of 91
Quote:

Originally Posted by Graphicism /img/forum/go_quote.gif
That sucks to hear.

Whenever I'm upset I exercise, run as long as I can until exhaustion kicks in and out-ways the other emotion. Repeat as many times as necessary and you'll not only feel a lot better emotionally but will be building confidence to go on with your life.

All the best!


I do this too, it really helps.

Damn you PEPSI! I saw your username and I had to run to the store and picked up some Coke (I'm not a pepsi fan
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)
 
May 4, 2010 at 4:16 PM Post #85 of 91
It is sad to hear this happened... Be strong and as everyone else says do stuff to take your mind off things. Now its your turn to be cold hearted, ignore her and move on. I know its going to be hard at first, i have done it a few times with relationships. Dwelling on things only makes it harder. Hope Chicago is taking the edge off it all. Get your ass back out there and have some good times!
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May 9, 2010 at 4:26 PM Post #86 of 91
I just finished speaking with my uncle last night. We still need to stand before a judge but at least we've come down to an agreement. Since we did do a prenup it made splitting everything a whole lot easier. To my surprise she was nice enough to only take her car, her jewelry, and a few pieces of furniture. The house, we agreed to give back to her parents, and we're both moving out soon. As far as our savings went, whatever money she made she keeps and vice versa. All i needed was my rig, my car, and the TV, everything else i could care less and was just a bonus on my part. 
 
Once again, thank you so much guys for your kind words, i can't thank you enough. It's only been 1 week but i truly feel liberated. After meeting new women and having my friends around, it truly has opened up my eyes. It was all for the best, at least i know now that i wasn't missing out on anything. Of course i'm not over it, i know seeing her with him will hurt, but now i can at least get up off my knees and live my life the way i want to. Chicago truly has helped me in every way imaginable, it truly has a stamp on my sentimental values list. 
 
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