[Coq de Combat]

My little Xmas present to myself.
 
Here's the family picture:
 

 

[Coq de Combat]

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

Also, I thought I should add that while getting a MBPr is a ******* ridiculously expensive gift to get to yourself, there's more behind it than meets the eye. Most of you probably know about my past few months, or years really, with the depressions, homelessness, being poor to getting a well paid job, the separation/divorce, the suicidal ideation and all that crap... I feel that all of it has come to that moment when the bubble is going to burst. I'm at a crossroad here: either I stick and fight, or I just give up, and my energy is running low. Dangerously low. These gadgets and **** I'm buying myself is somehow symbolic to show myself that there's more to life that is worth fighting for, and it's not the gadgets themselves, but the passion I have for the hobbies I love - if the everyday hobby and passion isn't worth staying alive for, then what is? Like I said though, my energy is almost completely depleted and so is my wallet for now, and I truly feel that while I want to go one direction at my crossroad, I'm subconsciously headed the opposite direction. Also, my pdoc has quit her job to move to another city, my counselor retired this fall, my new counselor doesn't give a **** and I'm too depleted to make some noise over at the clinic to find a new one.
 
Sorry, I shouldn't constantly bother this thread with my crap, but I really don't have anyone to talk to in my real life. My two friends aren't close enough to talk about these things, and my best friend used to be my wife and suffice to say, I'm not gonna go cry on her shoulder. 

 

[mutabor]

Today I gave a try to Aphex Twin's "Syro". 
 
Song #8 Circlont14 ( 2.45 - 4.00) a Russian lady repeats one word "носочки" ( nosochki) which means "socks". This was, probably, the only word in the album which made no sense to me. I need to listen more to decide if I really like it ( I mean the album). At first listen I kind of enjoyed it.

 

[mutabor]

 

Spoiler: Warning: Spoiler!

Also, I thought I should add that while getting a MBPr is a ******* ridiculously expensive gift to get to yourself, there's more behind it than meets the eye. Most of you probably know about my past few months, or years really, with the depressions, homelessness, being poor to getting a well paid job, the separation/divorce, the suicidal ideation and all that crap... I feel that all of it has come to that moment when the bubble is going to burst. I'm at a crossroad here: either I stick and fight, or I just give up, and my energy is running low. Dangerously low. These gadgets and **** I'm buying myself is somehow symbolic to show myself that there's more to life that is worth fighting for, and it's not the gadgets themselves, but the passion I have for the hobbies I love - if the everyday hobby and passion isn't worth staying alive for, then what is? Like I said though, my energy is almost completely depleted and so is my wallet for now, and I truly feel that while I want to go one direction at my crossroad, I'm subconsciously headed the opposite direction. Also, my pdoc has quit her job to move to another city, my counselor retired this fall, my new counselor doesn't give a **** and I'm too depleted to make some noise over at the clinic to find a new one.
 
Sorry, I shouldn't constantly bother this thread with my crap, but I really don't have anyone to talk to in my real life. My two friends aren't close enough to talk about these things, and my best friend used to be my wife and suffice to say, I'm not gonna go cry on her shoulder. 

 
I don't know what to say but I read your posts.

 

[Coq de Combat]

   
I don't know what to say but I read your posts.

Thanks man. I appreciate it. I hate being this drama whore, but today's been an exceptionally bad day.

 

[DigitalFreak]

Keep fighting Coq, life is to precious to just give up. You'll get through this. Eventually it gets better and when it does you'll find more strength then you thought you had.

 

[gikigill]

Biology lesson incoming.

Coq, Your primal ancestors were the ones who won the evolutionary lottery, fought predators, disease and other competitors and survived.

You are the product of a very unique ancestry,the most intelligent of all mammals yet,so dont let go of it.

 

[Idsynchrono_24]

Thanks man. I appreciate it. I hate being this drama whore, but today's been an exceptionally bad day.

I don't know you, but just readin that singular post is enough to clue me in on the fact that you've been thru a ton of ****. If you feel you need to vent, by all means do it. Shout it from the rooftops if it helps any. It's not like my pointless videogame rants or nonsensical IEM related posts hold any more intrinsic value to anyone or anything, but I do it all the same. Also, it's not your fault that you feel that way. Depression is some lousy, ****ed up, soul sapping **** that tries to defeat you at every turn. That you're sharing any of this at all, clues me in on the notion that you probably care enough to try to turn things around. You're questioning whether you ought to throw in the towel. That's good, cause you haven't thrown it in yet.

You know, nothing in life is constant. It feels safe to cling to the notion that you'll always have this person, this hobby, or that passion in your life, but things change. Don't get too mired in the past. Try to live in the present a little, cause it's what will shape the things to come. Do find the strength of will to find a new counselor. You deserve whatever help you can get. If you've hit rock bottom, there's really no other place to go but up. That or you can wallow in a pit of despair. But let's view the glass as being half full. You say you've only got two friends, and they're not close enough to share these things with. That's okay. Share here if you feel like it, but in the mean time, try to open yourself up to new people. Join an activity group of your interest, volunteer your time, or take up lessons in a subject you're interested in (music for instance). The less time you've got to yourself, the less time you've got to wallow.

Now, you can nod your head after you've finished reading this, only to lapse into certain habits again, or you can actively try to change things for the better. I don't think anyone here wants you to do the former. It's a new year man. Try aiming for a new you. And if you ever feel like shooting the **** about whatever drop me a line.

 

[mutabor]

  Today I gave a try to Aphex Twin's "Syro". 
 
Song #8 Circlont14 ( 2.45 - 4.00) a Russian lady repeats one word "носочки" ( nosochki) which means "socks". This was, probably, the only word in the album which made no sense to me. I need to listen more to decide if I really like it ( I mean the album). At first listen I kind of enjoyed it.

 
To be more precise in Russian "socks" are носки ( noski, accent on the last syllable). Nosochki ( -och- is a diminutive suffix) is a diminutive form of noski. For example, an adult can tell a child: could you put on nosochki?
 
That is why nosochki sound even more ridiculous in a song and without a context. I'm listening to a foreign album and suddenly I hear "nosochki". Oh really? Are you kidding me? Is it on purpose or is it a sample from another song?
 
I go to wikipedia:
 

 As of 2014, Aphex Twin lives with his two sons—from his first marriage—and his second wife, a Russian art student.

 

[ardgedee]

The Blattnerphone
 


The first broadcast-quality magnetic recording machine. Its medium was 6mm steel tape, rather than celluloid. The photo above is from a page about the BBC's Blattnerphones.
 
Playback was at 53 ips (5 kilometers per hour). A reel weighed 10 kg and held 1 mile of tape, good enough for 20 minutes of recording.
 

I had to wear thick gloves when working with the machine – on record and replay the reels of steel tape whirled round at quite a speed and during fast rewind it was wise to step right back in case of breakage. [....] Rowena Taylor had actually edited Marconi Stille steel tape recordings. This involved using a spot welder. She told me that this resulted in a fade-out/fade-in at the edit. This was caused by the temperature of the tape exceeding its Curie point destroying the magnetism.

 

[barleyguy]

I had to wear thick gloves when working with the machine – on record and replay the reels of steel tape whirled round at quite a speed and during fast rewind it was wise to step right back in case of breakage. [....] Rowena Taylor had actually edited Marconi Stille steel tape recordings. This involved using a spot welder. She told me that this resulted in a fade-out/fade-in at the edit. This was caused by the temperature of the tape exceeding its Curie point destroying the magnetism.

That's rad. I'm actually old enough to have edited audio with a razor blade and tape. I thought that was really old school, never knew that it was once done with a spot welder.
 
It's a good thing they invented mylar tape, because I wouldn't trust most of the stoned DJs I knew with a spot welder. Radio stations would have needed some really good fire insurance.
 
----------
 
On the topic of depression, I like most geeks have definite bouts with that too. My response when it happens is to start changing things. I've been known to completely zero out, changing my job, my home, and my activities all at once. At my previous employer I worked for 4 departments in 5 years. I also lived in 4 different houses during that 5 years. And then there's the time I quit my job and went to recording school.
 
I think it comes down to thinking that since I'm depressed there must be something wrong with my life, but since I don't know what it is, I just change everything. It usually helps for a while, but I don't think the root cause really gets solved.
 
It does create adventures though, and adventures are good. I highly recommend adventures.

 

[Mimouille]

 

[DigitalFreak]

 
 

Asian horror is weird

 

[mutabor]

 

 

[ardgedee]

The vampire girl looked like Kyary Pamyu Pamyu to me. Sure enough, I found the video...

TV commercial for GU clothing, which is a subsidiary brand of Uniqlo.