[AlanY]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pm@c /img/forum/go_quote.gif Finally somebody walks in with some rational thinking. Ive been getting slaughtered with my earlier comments by some people and nobody defends me. This thread totally isnt worth of thoughts/prayers/dreams, and yet when I point that out I get called an insensitive person. When those words are used you think of dying friends/family members. Not your "internet love" losing contact with you. Its pretty sad...

Most people (probably everyone) sees your point, but most of us remember back to our teens and our first love or heavy crush and how in retrospect how silly/obsessive/squirrelly we were, yet how enormous it all felt at the time.

The distance involved in an Internet relationship probably just amplifies the mental component.

I think it's charming in a way that only young emotion can be. The original poster will get through this. It's not the end of the world. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't, but you'll probably look back on this emotional struggle with fondness one day.

 

[BlindTiger]

Her parents can also change the locks. Still their house, their rules.
Changing locks would be a polite indication. some won't be so discreet.
She can do whatever she wants outside the house but inside, it's her parents rules.
And, they can also kick her out the house.
My old man did worse than this and it made me a stronger person, in fact, it made our whole family strong. Ask my Mom, who is fighting lung cancer.

edit to add, NYS has very strict anti stalking laws, it was started in 1999 to protect domestic abuse victims.

 

[003]

Ok I just reread the OPs original post and I would like to clear up some legal issues for him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 928GTS /img/forum/go_quote.gif and how he wanted me to sever all contact with his daughter immeadiately or risk legal action.

Like what? They can not have any kind of legal action taken against you for being in contact with another adult. The only people who could take any kind of legal action would be you or Natalie, which judging by what you have said, is never going to happen. Quote:

Originally Posted by 928GTS /img/forum/go_quote.gif called me a stalker and threatened to have me arrested by the appropriate authorities

Again, her parents can not take any kind of legal action in this situation, and not surprisingly, they can't have you arrested either. Think about it. Another adult can not call the police and report that somebody is "stalking" another adult. Again, only you or Natalie would be able to do that. Quote:

Originally Posted by 928GTS /img/forum/go_quote.gif I only received two messages from her,dated directly after the occurance,stating that if she was caught talking to me again that her parents would lock her up in her room.

As long as she is in the house, her parents may have the authority to keep her in her room, as long as she wants to stay in the house. HOWEVER, they do NOT have the authority to hold here there against her will (locking her in) or prevent he from leaving the house if she wants.

Pretty much all they can do is keep her in her room, AS LONG AS SHE WANTS TO STAY IN THE HOUSE; cut her off from funds they may be providing and/or kick her out of the house. Thats it.

928GTS are you at or over 18?

 

[plainsong]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pm@c /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hahha my last post as deleted, I guess it was comforting enough for a situation like this... honestly, by the title of your thread I was expecting you or your friend to have cancer, or someone else to be dieing or some unfortunate thing. Instead I read this thread about how suddenly you arent allowed to talk to your "internet love". Please dont make the title sound so desperate next time.

Before you go a'thread-crappin' I'd like to point out that my husband and I met through "internet love" and have been married happily for 8 years. So put that in your pipe and take a good long drag.

Love is love, it has many forms.

I also sympathize because my parents were nearly as bad, and as the police informed them, no they don't actually have the right to do that, paying the bills or not. This looks like another situation where she's going to have to get out of her own situation.

 

[003]

Also, I would just like to point out, that if she is 18 and still living with her parents, most likely she is not just mooching off them. She probably helps a lot and contributes money and things like that. If they decide to kick her out or cut off her funds, she can just as easily do the same to them.

 

[BlindTiger]

Yes, she can, however, Living in NYC is mighty expensive.

 

[ken36]

Oh my, what aren't you telling us?

 

[003]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlindTiger /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yes, she can, however, Living in NYC is mighty expensive.

Move? Thats why I wanted to know how old 928GTS is.

 

[BlindTiger]

He wrote he's in College and she's 18. 928gts didn't mention his age.

 

[003]

Well, I suspect that her parents do love her very much. Why else would they be so protective? Parents that don't love their kids are the ones who give them a credit card in their teens and say do whatever you want just stay out of my way.

So, my guess, is that if she threatened them with moving and cutting them off of all funds and support she currently provides, they might back off a little bit. Ok, they think it's punishment if they kick her out. But now they have ZERO control over her and what she does.

 

[928GTS]

Yeah I'm 18 years old and I'm going to try to figure something out with my mother about how to handle this as she has done some work with psychology and so hopefully she'll have some insight. I'm going to see if I can reestablish some basic contact with her and figure out whats going on. I'll try to remind her of the points you've made 003.

Thank you all for your support.

 

[PFKMan23]

Honestly, I'd be very cautious when dealing with her parents. I will also say that while I can see 003's POV, I think that there are some very dangerous assumptions/derivations, ie: that's she's this massively helpful person and that her utility can be used as leverage against her parents. I have known people over the years in very similar circumstances and it is never really that straightforward. I will also say that moving out and striking it out on your own isn't easy, moreover if she's well off, that inevitable downgrade can also cause problems.

Point of it is, a aggravating as it may seem, you really need to be very cautious and civil, or you will end up harming her. Moreover if you do meet them, don't be unprepared for them not to yield that much, especially given their current view of you. Even if your parents speak on your behalf, it can still be really difficult.

So be careful, open and patient.

 

[Hermitt]

Are you 'positive' that she is 18? Her parents are reacting like she is a minor. Not too long ago there was a man arrested in my town that had met with someone whom he met on the internet who told him that she was 18, and in all actuality, she was only 14. they were busted while having sex in a car parked at a local elementary school. (not too bright) But if i remember correctly, it didn't turn out very well for him.

 

[Akathriel]

First of all I can see you care deeply about your friend, I hope it works out.

But I can also see where Pm@c is coming from and I'll try and express it respectfully without coming off like a callous ass. You obviously care deeply about this girl and you're understandably upset. You tried to qualify this with explaining how close you are to her and maybe you got a little melodramatic with your description and title. My advice to you is to step back and look at it from a different perspective, calm down and have faith that it will work out and just keep trying and always remember that there are those in much worse situations than you. My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor last week. She is losing her hearing, control of her facial nerves, and possibly her vision. I myself, am scheduled to have major surgery this summer where I will have my jaw advanced , will have my jaw wired shut for two months, and will look like a frickin balloon for six months after due to swelling. And even after all that, I know there are people worse off than me; I live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and my family has the funds to provide the care that we need. There are plenty of people that can't say as much. I hope Im not coming off course as I am trying to give empathetic advice (the same phillosphy I'm trying to stick to myself, sorry for pouring my own heart out): Step back, calm down. It could be worse so count your blessings and work with what you've got.

 

[003]

Did he happen to get busted on dateline "to catch a predator"?

Anyway, I am merely posting the black and white legal info, do with it what you will. I also posted my subjective view on things. If she is not such a help to her parents things would be more difficult.