[JahJahBinks]

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Originally Posted by afobisme he got great sex so he convinced himself to move across the country for her.

Awesome thing to hear in the morning!

 

[plainsong]

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Originally Posted by RnB180 now we have people conducting virtual marriages in online fantasy games, no one wouldve ever seen this coming 10 years ago. i.e. that whole thing about cheating on each other in the game world and thoughts of self harm as a result. Its quite a frightening thought IMO.

Not true...soooo not true. Over 10 years ago, people were getting married allllll the time in the virtual world. Remember there was more than just IRC back then, there were MUDs and MUSHes. I could tell you stories, but if you weren't there you won't have any frame of reference. If anyone remembers, I'm referring to life on Global, Tim, After Hours, Toon Mush II, etc.,..

The second clip is a bit tougher to address. Suffice it to say that the rules for virtual and RL relationships are what your partner and yourself make them. Not any one rule works for everyone. But the feelings are real and they are intense. Remember it is people that we're talking about, people behind the screens and keyboards.

 

[JahJahBinks]

When McDonald's were first introduced in China, people (especially young adults and kids) fell so in love with the taste of western fastfood that some Chinese couples had their weddings in McDonald's restaurants, because to them getting married in McDonald's was like in a magical and divine place, i.e Disneyland. (I can understand couples go to Disneyland for wedding, but never McDonald's)

I guess for y'all Americans it's hard to imagine. But for me who was born in China and later moved to US and actually worked in McDonald's when I was a student here, err.......*puke*

 

[plainsong]

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Originally Posted by JahJahBinks When McDonald's were first introduced in China, people (especially young adults and kids) fell so in love with the taste of western fastfood that some Chinese couples had their weddings in McDonald's restaurants, because to them getting married in McDonald's was like in a magical and divine place, i.e Disneyland. (I can understand couples go to Disneyland for wedding, but never McDonald's) I guess for y'all Americans it's hard to imagine. But for me who was born in China and later moved to US and actually worked in McDonald's when I was a student here, err.......*puke*

But what does it have to do with this? I don't think you understand the dynamics of a virtual relationship. It's just like a real one, with real people and real feelings, only with a higher ease of deceit, without physical contact, and an intesity that comes from the ease of sharing your innermost thoughts. The walls come down a lot qiucker.

 

[RnB180]

Quote:

Originally Posted by plainsong Not true...soooo not true. Over 10 years ago, people were getting married allllll the time in the virtual world. Remember there was more than just IRC back then, there were MUDs and MUSHes. I could tell you stories, but if you weren't there you won't have any frame of reference. If anyone remembers, I'm referring to life on Global, Tim, After Hours, Toon Mush II, etc.,.. The second clip is a bit tougher to address. Suffice it to say that the rules for virtual and RL relationships are what your partner and yourself make them. Not any one rule works for everyone. But the feelings are real and they are intense. Remember it is people that we're talking about, people behind the screens and keyboards.

youre probably correct, I was in high school when the WWW was first started, or at least when I think it did, However I was never famimliar with the BBS and all the other stuff you mentioned.

regarding computer relationships, Ive never been in one so I dont know what can happen, again Im old fashioned, for me personally I dont believe a long distance relationship would work for me. Im sure it is different for many others, however.

cheers

 

[JahJahBinks]

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Originally Posted by plainsong But what does it have to do with this? I don't think you understand the dynamics of a virtual relationship. It's just like a real one, with real people and real feelings, only with a higher ease of deceit, without physical contact, and an intesity that comes from the ease of sharing your innermost thoughts. The walls come down a lot qiucker.

It's not virtual relationship but it does show the level of creativity people have when it comes to marriage. Heck, I have seen real couples engaged for many years broke up because one went overseas for a couple of months, with virtual relationship the walls come down a lot quicker, I agree.

 

[plainsong]

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Originally Posted by RnB180 youre probably correct, I was in high school when the WWW was first started, or at least when I think it did, However I was never famimliar with the BBS and all the other stuff you mentioned. regarding computer relationships, Ive never been in one so I dont know what can happen, again Im old fashioned, for me personally I dont believe a long distance relationship would work for me. Im sure it is different for many others, however. cheers

It's not just local dial-up BBS's. It's the telnet protocol, that's still around. This will work better from a terminal, but for instance try telnet://yay.tim.org:5440 (if the welcome screen doesn't display tinytim in ascii characters, then type LN lr. I think tim supports guest, so connect guest guest to have a look around. To say something, type " before it.

There's just nothing like it. The graphics-based worlds just don't have the magic that mushing did.

JahJahBinks, I think the whole thing is what you make it. A friend of mine had a fiancee in RL, and a husband in VR. Her VR husband was married in RL, and his wife new of and approved of the virtual relationship, since it added spice to their own. Plus the virtual couple had an agreement that it stays virtual. They really loved each other, and as long as no one got hurt then why not?

That kind of agreement doesn't work for my husband and I though. Since that's where we met, meeting someone else in the same place would certainly be cheating.

I think it goes into that category of what's weird for one relationship works great for another.

 

[JahJahBinks]

and I agree with you, we are not trying to pick which one is bad here, we just discussing what work for some people and what worked for others.

 

[plainsong]

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Originally Posted by JahJahBinks and I agree with you, we are not trying to pick which one is bad here, we just discussing what work for some people and what worked for others.

Yeah, I'm also discussing, none of the posts was made with anything other than the indoor voice, but if anyone needs to bring some of the judgemental aggro over here, they're welcome to it. Those types know who they are.

 

[YamiTenshi]

Things have definitely changed in the past couple of decades. I don't find it that "weird" to have an online relationship. I myself have never tried it, but a friend of mine actually did meet his wife online. She was in Malaysia and he lived in the US. They talked for a few months before he went over there to meet her and they got married not long after. Admittedly, both of them had ulterior motives for wanting the relationship in the first place... but this can happen in any relationship. It has worked out so far; they have two kids now and just moved into a new house.

A more extreme example of "weird" marriages is my cousin went back to China to find a wife, meet a woman and talked to her twice before marrying her and bringing her back to the States. I think the whole trip took less than a week.

They've been married about 20 years now and have two kids.

So, back to the topic of this particular guy proposing online to his girlfriend... I don't think there is anything wrong with it necessarily. Love is different for everyone and we have different ways of expressing it. Myself, I would have personally wanted the proposing to be done in a more private romantic way, but that's just me.

A more serious concern I would have is whether these two should be getting married in the first place. From waht I read in that guy's "proposal" doesn't really seem like he's ready for this. I get the feeling he's a bit too caught up in his emotions and is a "heat of the moment" type of guy. What happens after the high runs out and he realizes that he's GETTING MARRIED?

 

[eyeresist]

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Originally Posted by afobisme my friend met his ex-gf playing everquest.. she flew to him first, he got great sex so he convinced himself to move across the country for her. a few months after he moved in, neither one of them was "in love."

Yes. A word of advice to the young and foolish (from the old and foolish): "in love" in itself is a flimsy foundation for a permanent relationship. You need something deeper to weather the fluctuations of fortune and affection. Shared goals, shared identity, shared experience will give you greater longevity (and joy) than the fleeting high of romance. So look before you leap!

 

[K2Grey]

Let's remember that a virtual relationship and an online relationship are not necessarily the same thing.

Well, at least going by my current definitions, anyway. I'm not sure if there are accepted definitions for these terms or not. To me "online relationship" is a relationship with someone that you interact with through the Internet, whereas a "virtual relationship" is when your characters have a relationship, not necessarily the players.

Wait, now I'm just confused. What's the normal meaning of "virtual relationship"?

 

[plainsong]

Quote:

Originally Posted by K2Grey Let's remember that a virtual relationship and an online relationship are not necessarily the same thing. Well, at least going by my current definitions, anyway. I'm not sure if there are accepted definitions for these terms or not. To me "online relationship" is a relationship with someone that you interact with through the Internet, whereas a "virtual relationship" is when your characters have a relationship, not necessarily the players. Wait, now I'm just confused. What's the normal meaning of "virtual relationship"?

I take a virtual relationship to mean one that exists on the net only. It could be in character or not, whatever floats your boat, but it's the agreement that it doesn't leave the computer screen. I think an online relationship means that you're in a normal relationship, but distance and circumstance means you only communicate online for the moment.

 

[Gaughtfried]

This kinda reminds me of a certain online funeral in some respects, but definitly not others.

Well, hopefully this'll turn out alot better then that.